How can I reboot from shameful porn?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Monasterious, Jul 7, 2021.

  1. Monasterious

    Monasterious New Fapstronaut

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    I have been trying to reboot for a couple of years now. Recently I put the Spin filter on my phone which worked great (alongside Stay Focused and a device called Unpluq to prevent any potential workarounds). I can't even view the internet browser on there anymore or adjust any settings, it's a lifesaver. I also used something on my PC called fapsecure. It worked great, blocking reddit and twitter images. Having the password impossible to access in a lockbox works great too. The problem is that I can still system reset my computer. I did this a few days ago and feel like a complete idiot, because I was in this state of doing the reset while feeling such shame. Turns out that after fapping, it was a bad idea to reset, who's have guessed?

    The reasons I'm trying to stop are:
    • I have a girlfriend who I love and want to be with forever
    • I have been having PI ED for about five to eight years.
    • I have fallen into hypnotic porn for the past five years. It's absolutely detestable shit that has really desensitized my tastes further. Don't even look it up out of curiousity, it's an absolute cancer. It makes me feel like the biggest shit on the planet afterwards.
    • I have been masturbating without an erection as a PI fetish.
    With porn filters, things have been so much better. Like it's impossible for me to view porn on my phone now which used to be my main way of viewing it. But my computer, which I have to use for work and studying, is not secure. Even when I had the filter on my computer, I was still able to access things like ""sfw"" hypno captions and disgusting shit like that. I hate that I am searching for that, and am feeling at a loss at what to do. Again under no circumstances should anyone even consider looking this up.

    So here are my questions:
    1. How can I make it impossible to view porn on my computer and impossible to reset?
    2. What other actions can I take to prevent using porn beyond filters and will power? I am willing to do almost anything.
    3. How can I deal with the shame of porn leading to shameful porn leading to further shame of porn? I feel like the most repugnant human on earth.
    I have literally told no one about any of this until today because it's the most shameful and most embarrassing thing I have ever experienced. But I feel at the end of the line, and I don't know how to go on. When I willingly reset my PC and wasted several hours of my life for a shameful fap, it felt like I was unable to go on. I have to stop but I need guidance. I'm 25, and getting started fapping 14 years ago is the biggest regret of my life. I hope that we can work together to be success stories so we can stop the younger generation from falling into the same trap that we did through our lack of education on porn's potential for harm.
     
    nrsl likes this.
  2. nrsl

    nrsl Fapstronaut

    Even though I am newbie, I can try to give some advices briefly.
    1. As PC blocker, I would recommend Pluckeye filter. Here is the guide. It can block pages by using keywords, so should help for you.
    2. Relapse begins inside of you, from your intentions, so you must have "installed" filter in your brain — strict discipline: avoid any arousing thoughts and triggers. If bad thoughts coming in your head, just relax, breath deeply and remember, why are you trying to reboot, remember the reasons for it, which you have got. Also do not forget to detect the reasons of these thoughts: usually they do not come from nowhere — analyzing filters is important on the first steps of the journey.
    3. If I understood correctly, this shame triggers you. You should not think about it. Just focus your mind on something else, it will be easy, if you have some hobbies or project, on which you working on. First couple of days of this journey will be the most hard, but then it will be much more easier, trust me.
     
    Monasterious likes this.
  3. Prince Macintosh

    Prince Macintosh Fapstronaut

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    I've done the hypnotic thing and the captions thing. It's pretty awful and screwed me up pretty well for a good long while. Give it time. Things will get better and your sex preferences should somewhat normalize. The ED should go away. You might want to consider (I've never done it) a sex hypnotist to "undo" what's been done, though that would involve telling him/her what the damage is that was done. You might be able to keep it generic, I don't know.

    Either way, hang in there, fight the good fight. The urge will usually be there, but know that it doesn't define you, and you're working to overcome it.
     
    Monasterious likes this.
  4. Koli Pratham

    Koli Pratham Fapstronaut

    Don't rely On external Protections imo. The ultimate blocker is you yourself
     
  5. Hakaishin

    Hakaishin Fapstronaut

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    Use covenant eyes software. I personally don't use any software so as to discipline myself without external help which is far more good than depending on software. The less dependent you are on a software the better, cause you're training your mind to face a harder challenge. Covenant eyes needs 2 people so find an accountability partner who shares the same nofap goal and views as yours and get on with it.
     
    luckydog likes this.
  6. Koli Pratham

    Koli Pratham Fapstronaut

    I agree
     
  7. Monasterious

    Monasterious New Fapstronaut

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    That strategy has failed me for 5+ years. I like the analogy that it's like a smoker trying to give up cigarettes while they're still in his pocket.
     
    Peaceful magic 21 likes this.
  8. Monasterious

    Monasterious New Fapstronaut

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    This looks like a great piece of software. Thank you! Yes, I guess I don't have much of an idea what my triggers are, except for shame. I will need to be more mindful.
     
    nrsl likes this.
  9. Monasterious

    Monasterious New Fapstronaut

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    This looks like a great piece of software that's completely immune to potential workarounds! It's expensive, so I'm going to try other things first. I would like to be in a position where I don't need software for support, but I think it's really helpful to make any possible temptations too much of a pain to bother doing.
     
  10. Koli Pratham

    Koli Pratham Fapstronaut

    True. I used those last Year around the month June-August, I used to get so pissed off so I used go with porn substitutes on yt and some other shit
     

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