How can I stop looking at women?

That's a good goal to have.

I was in a church group where the leader said one thing he works on to resist lust is to never take a second look. You can't help it if a pretty girl walks across your path. You can help it if you take a second look.

Just thinking of it that way has made me more aware of both my actions and the desires that drive them. If I have an urge to stare I feel it in real time and see it for what it is. I may resist the urge or not, but I'm not deluding myself.

That helped me. Maybe it'll help you.

 

Discipline yourself to look at faces only.

 

Well I mean what are you doing? Staring or glancing? There is nothing wrong with checking a woman out. Its natural. I believe the women in the thread are discussing men who are very tacky, borderline creepy with their ogling. I have a friend who strictly stares at a woman's chest when he talks to her. Its super lame. Don't be like him. But don't deny yourself the joy of checking out women either. Just be tactful about it.

 

Learn to master your own eyes.
You have the regie over your own body so also over your eyes.
It helps me when I stay connected to myself more and more.
Humbleness is the right attitude to develop.

 

“Don’t take a second look” is the best advice here. The surprise look is going to happen and it’s not your fault. The second look is what turns it into something creepy.

I try and turn it into something positive. I don’t know if you believe in God but what I do when I get a surprise view of a lady’s amazing body shape or beautiful face is, I say a little prayer about what I just saw. Sometimes I ask Him to let me enjoy someone like that in the sheets, and those prayers get quite graphic. Or I might actually pray something for her, like for God to bless her and give her all the happiness she is looking for, or protect her from being harmed by evil men or something like that.

 

im going to go against the grain and say that I feel this is normal. This feels like the goal of NoFap. Not to be creepy. But to have sexual thoughts and desires for real people. Maybe what you're experiencing is a bit much but still, I think this kind of feeling should be encouraged. That kind of lust is natural to who we are. These days we keep it contained with porn. I say experience the lust, just dont be creepy. Which is sounds like you already know.

 

hmmm no success on the love front? Have you tried dating? I have to be honest, nofap is hard. I fail all the time and I also have a wife who I have sex with. IDK how people go months and months without an orgasm

 

I may be falling into the trap of pushing my values onto you. Sorry for that. What are your overall goals then? To free yourself from lust? And do you feel that your porn habit has lead you to feel aromantic or that it’s a natural feeling for you?

 

well my brother, making ourselves vulnerable is scary but also how we achieve our goals in life! I've gotten myself hurt with friends and relationships before but if I shied away I would never my lovely wife and wonderful friends I have today. PMO is cancerous but avoiding partners due to fear of getting hurt is bad too!

 

Yeah, avoiding romantic feelings and connections is also a deep symptom of PMO addiction, so ponder that as well. Is it really you or is it the addiction?

 

I think you're having normal feelings and instincts that are just getting out of wack and turning into pornographic fantasies, and it sounds like there is a lot of shame mixed in there too so it only makes it worse. Its okay to acknowledge an attractive woman with a quick glance, its an instinct. Trying to suppress your sexuality by pretending women aren't there just creates another problem though, so we don't want that either. But attractive women are a dime a dozen, they're everywhere and its really nothing special to be staring at or fantasizing about.

This is it right here. If you're not actually gonna make a move, there's no reason for her to take up space in your head. With that being said, for fantasies to pop up in the head is also fairly normal, we're looking for a reason. Just remember that she is a human being and staring could make her uncomfortable. And that these daydreams are only harming you, because eventually you have to come back to the reality where you don't have her.