How can this be?

I wonder if anyone can identify. Like most here I've struggled with masturbation and porn use, but I've discovered something and so far I feel free in a way. If I just masturbate and let myself enjoy it, I seem to be ok now and in some ways am relaxed and more in touch with myself and my emotions. On the other hand, if it's porn then I'm continually lusting, seeing the images in my mind and it's an obsession. To be honest, I was never totally ok with masturbation as I grew up doing it outside and feeling tremendous shame, it was compulsive and fits with the repression of early childhood memories which leads me to believe I was abused and so the behavior. Since I've accepted it, it is totally different than feeling addicted to porn. Of course, I still have to be careful of any porn chaser and staying away from that, but it doesn't seem to bring on the porn images much at all. Just wonder if anyone has accepted one but know they have to stay away from the other. For some it may be all or nothing, but for me it's actually nice to know I can still fulfill my urge with less and less guilt now that I've accepted it. Porn is a whole other ballgame. Anyone's thoughts appreciated.