How come I can’t resist the temptation to look at hot girls?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by koolman, Mar 31, 2018.

  1. koolman

    koolman Fapstronaut

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    I want to quit porn but everyday I try I fail I just think of this attractive porn star that I’m attracted to at that day and boom relapsed. I don’t know why I can’t seem to stop. Does anyone have any advice this has been happening daily I don’t want to use filters but I’m starting to think I have no choice.
     
  2. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Call your mom
    Nothing corrupts a sex drive like your mom in any situation
    Good luck!
     
  3. Budh

    Budh Fapstronaut
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    Meditation, try researching Sahaja Yoga meditation.

    Meditation isn't a quick fix, it takes time to master it. However, in the long run it will calm down the chatter in your mind and finally put a stop to cravings like what you're experiencing. I'm not there yet, though I know people who're.
     
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  4. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

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    Become a monk. Problem solved
     
    Kenzi likes this.
  5. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    There's no easy or comfortable way to get out of the hole you dug for yourself.

    Reality can be messy, awkward, unideal, imperfect, uncertain, difficult, and scary.

    PMO has given you an escape from all of that. It's easy, comfortable, certain, and instant gratification.

    Over time you've conditioned yourself to escape from the pain, problems, and negative experiences of life. You became weaker as time went on. It's only going to get harder to stop escaping to PMO the more you indulge in it.

    PMO was comfortable in the moment, but became uncomfortable later on. Your reality suffered for it. On the other hand, facing reality is uncomfortable at first, but becomes comfortable later on. Most people will choose comfort first and deal with the consequences later rather than doing the difficult things that allow you to become the person you want to become and have the life that you want.

    You have to find who you want to be and what life you want to have that you can place more importance on than the instant, easy, and certain gratification of escaping into PMO.

    When you don't have a strong sense of reality or self then you can be easily pulled into the realities of other people and things and they will decide your identity and reality for you.

    Relapsing is basically a habit to cope and protect yourself from the difficulties of life. You can't stop relapsing unless you have a better reality and you can't have a better reality if you continue to escape from the difficulties of life.

    It's not easy, but it's your responsibility to get out of the hole you dug for yourself. All that past comfort has now become a massive discomfort. So now you have a choice to turn the discomfort of developing your reality with the hopes that it will be a comfort in the future.
     
  6. SanSolo

    SanSolo Fapstronaut

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    So right! I used to keep a picture of my mom on the wall above my bed. Nothing could kill the urges like thinking how it would feel if she could see me!
     
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  7. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

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    Risky
     
  8. The beauty of this response is its generality. You could take basically any issue around PMO addiction and this is a valid answer. Or you could replace PMO with any source of instant gratification, carried out to escape from facing the unpleasant reality.
     
    Jennica, MindfulAchilles and elevate like this.
  9. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Where we are right now in life didn't just happen out of nowhere. We built it through everyday habits. A little escaping from reality today might not seem harmful, but compounded over time from doing it everyday weakens us and becomes a big problem later on. We basically put in a lot of time and effort in destroying our life. Yet when it's time to build a life that we do want, we become lazy to do the same amount of time and effort for that.

    We've been planting seeds everyday. With every thought, feeling, and action. We cultivated those seeds into habits. It takes a while to see results when growing a garden so we think everything is fine. Then the plants start growing. We suddenly have a garden that we have to harvest. We think "this isn't the garden (life) that I wanted... how did this happen??" So it's about taking responsibility for the everyday seeds you're planting and cultivating. If you're doing more PMO thoughts feelings and actions than building the life that you want, then you'll get a garden of things you don't want. Like I said, it takes a while for results to show, so people lose motivation / faith / work ethic to do the scary and difficult things they know they should be doing to become the person they want to be and have the life they want.

    It's difficult, scary, and uncertain work to build the life you want and the person you want to become. It's a long process. It's delayed gratification. It's so easy to seek instant gratification and allow your garden / life / future to be destroyed rather than work on something worthwhile and build something real.

    So to all the people who can't stop relapsing or they say "I've tried everything". You simply planted and cultivated a lot of bad seeds in your life (as a result of your desire for easy, certain, and instant gratification) and the undesired plants are still growing faster than you can get rid of them. It will only get harder the more you try to escape doing what you need to do to fix that garden. To fix your daily thoughts, feelings, and actions that compound over time to create your future.
     
  10. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    This is one of my relapse triggers, hot women. My PMO habit induced the belief "I have to let off sexual energy (or do anything sexually related) when I see a hot women." Which is wrong of course but the only thing that will help in dissolving that belief is sobriety from PMO and therapy in the form of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). Stay clean from PMO for more time and if you need more help, try CBT.
     
  11. It is ironic. Namely the fact that it really took a lot of effort to mess it all up. The question is then, does that discourage us, or will the realization of it finally and ultimately drive us struggling with some better and more interesting problems? And yes, everyday habits matter, for and against. When creating a better life, it is then good to remember that not everything has to be achieved overnight.
     
    elevate likes this.
  12. MindfulAchilles

    MindfulAchilles Fapstronaut

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    OMG, Kenzi! :emoji_sweat_smile:
     
    Kenzi likes this.
  13. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Just have to find something more important than your own self gratification.

    PMO put us all on a hedonistic treadmill. Where we conditioned ourselves to always have a 10 out of 10 satisfaction in life. So whenever things get scary, difficult, and uncertain... we escape to PMO to get that 10 out of 10 back. Conditioned ourselves to think that life should never be anything less than always easy, fun, certain, and instant... as much as we want... whenever we want it.

    I know all this because I've been at the bottom. I know what it takes to create a better life. A life where I'm driven by something beyond my own 10/10 hedonistic treadmill happiness. Which ultimately led to a better form of happiness.
     

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