How did porn effect your "Real" sexual life?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Deep Ninja, Apr 27, 2021.

Thread title - ( How did porn effect your "Real" sexual life? )

  1. I ejaculated too early. Couldn't continue sex for a sufficient time.

    10 vote(s)
    40.0%
  2. Had a hard time to hold an erection.

    14 vote(s)
    56.0%
  3. Had Performance anxieties. Doubts about myself.

    13 vote(s)
    52.0%
  4. Wasn't interested in my partner.

    8 vote(s)
    32.0%
  5. "Peter" was too weak, not hard enough to have sex.

    11 vote(s)
    44.0%
  6. Semen amount and condition was poor

    2 vote(s)
    8.0%
  7. Partner was not satisfied

    8 vote(s)
    32.0%
  8. Divorced due to sexual issues

    1 vote(s)
    4.0%
  9. Happy Sexual life. P & M had no effect on us.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  10. Others (Please tell us about it in the comments)

    6 vote(s)
    24.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Deep Ninja

    Deep Ninja Fapstronaut

    Let me explain my question -
    I meant Those who were addicted to pornography and masturbation before entering a stable relationship with their wife or GF, what type of effects did it have on your "real" sexual life?
    I just wanna hear some real-life experiences. So, those out there(like me) who are not in a stable relationship yet can take precautions and also understand the real-life issue to get out of this dirty fantasy world.
     
  2. Starfinder89

    Starfinder89 Fapstronaut

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    My relationships were affected outside of the bed aswell as inside.
    PIED - obviously...
    But I wasn't really engaged emotionally in the relationship as much as I am now. Quitting porn is nothing else, other than working on yourself and improving as a person. You can carry that spirit into a relationship, which lets you be more open and free. The conversations I have changed, the attitude towards women changed.
    When I experienced sex after quitting porn, it felt totally different, because I struggled to get it up aswell as I didn't enjoy sex at all. I thought it was kinda boring.
    Only after a while did I collect enough positive experiences with sex, that I got lust and started to enjoy it.

    Read books about porn addiction, if you want to actually take precautions. Read about relationships and self worth, self improvement. It's out there for you to inform.
    This forum helps a lot, but it's not enough in my opinion to post an article here and there, whilest sitting at home not working on yourself. Talk to people in your real life about that stuff, perhaps someone you can trust. Get some feedback about this intimate situation from another person, their look their reaction and their whole being.
    And it is work. The fun comes later as a price, but at first you gots to work.

    Cheers.
     
  3. Deep Ninja

    Deep Ninja Fapstronaut

    Thank you for sharing and for your kind advice. Glad to hear you are enjoying a healthy relationship.

    Communication during sex is really important. Thus, you can understand your partner better. And also give them pleasure, fulfill their desires.
    Can you suggest me some books? about porn addiction/self worth/relationship/self improvementent
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2021
  4. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I found a few side effects.

    - Delayed ejaculation. While it may seem cool to stay up for longer than usual, it's hard to explain to your partner that you do find her attractive but somehow can't climax. They will easily think you're not interested.

    - Fetish emphasis. I'm still not against a bit of experimenting with roles and what not, but it shouldn't be the main event each occasion. I was unaware at the time, but everything had to be about my kinks or else I would lose interest.

    Maybe I'll add one more... So much of a healthy sex life is about communication. People can be together for years and not know what gets each other off, as it's not always easy to talk about.

    Porn not only adds fetish/interests you may naturally not like, but if you have shame from simply using porn, you're going to be a lot less likely to open up and be vulnerable with someone.
     
    luckydog likes this.
  5. Deep Ninja

    Deep Ninja Fapstronaut

    AT first glance, delayed ejaculation seems like a good thing. But on second thought, it isn't great at all. It's frustrating at first when you don't orgasm. You don't feel good from sex. Your partner doesn't enjoy it too.
    Same case when it's about "fetish". Doing role-playing a few times seems great. I guess everyone will enjoy it. But if you only do these and don't enjoy normal sex then there is a problem. Also doing some weird fetish role-playing seems bad.

    You have shared two important points. Thank you .
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  6. Shin Iu

    Shin Iu Fapstronaut

    Just come to learn from you guys.
     
  7. Starfinder89

    Starfinder89 Fapstronaut

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    I'd read: "men disconnected" from "philip zimbardo"
    Then some relationship books, self help books focusing on men such as: Jordan peterson - 12 rules of life; Rolo tomassi - The rational male; and others of your choice.
    Don't take them as a bible - use, what fits your lifestyle and way of thinking.
    I read a lot of psychology books as well, but those are my personal choice. you can decide on your own in which direction you wanna go.

    Ah yea, I read a lot of books that are dedicated for women in their 30s. That gave me some mindset on how women think, what they expect and it actually helped me a little in talking to them or having my own expectations met.

    Other than that I talked to close friends and to the women that I was dating, whenever I was dating at that time. I was open and one by one I got more relaxed in talking about my problem.
    Took a few "attempts" to get the story right and have the gutts to be fully honest, but it helped.
    Perhaps take some time alone at first though. If you're too scared of failing, a.k.a. not getting it up again, then you can develop a fear of sex and that's not what you want.
    Personally I was just not caring, when it didn't work - I took it as a challange to overcome. Sometimes I said I was too nervous, too drunk, or too stressed out from my job, when it didn't work at all. Not all the time I told the truth, only when it fit the situation. I decided that for my own.

    Yea, that's all I can say right now.

    Cheers.
     
  8. Others: Death Grip Syndrome.

    I had no problem getting or holding an errection. But I couldn't "feel" my penis during sex. Like it was made out of wood.
     
  9. alexandrebois

    alexandrebois Fapstronaut

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    Premature Ejaculation is my Main Issue !
    I could orgasm from the first 3 seconds..
     
  10. Urge Surfer

    Urge Surfer Fapstronaut

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    Loss of connection, I just shut down and distance myself from those I love. I hate it. The simple joy and pleasure of being alive is diminished. That in turn pushes you to more porn and bam , your in that viscous cycle. When I have a decent streak I get on better with my wife, she just responds differently. I feel happier overall. It’s strange, it’s such a no brained yet I still relapse regularly.
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  11. Summer Son

    Summer Son Fapstronaut

    I have zero interests to find a real partner. I'm 22 and virgin. Not just sexual life, my life and my overall health affected by pornography addiction.
     
  12. alexandrebois

    alexandrebois Fapstronaut

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    Yeah PMO affect your ability and energy to look for a partner, and makes you think that you don't even need it in your Life.

    Stopping it for at least 365 days will make you fully reboot
     
  13. greenishmoon

    greenishmoon Fapstronaut

    Going for it made me not want to even fight my way to get a woman. I didn't have the motivation, and if I screwed up then "I had my harem at home". One year clean and I am like coming out of my grave.
    I mean, I attempted many times with woman but if you still seek for the easy stuff then you sometimes get hooked on it and stop searching for the real deal, and stop caring and taking the effort so much, if you're not strong enough. And that's not just enmasculating to the body but for the soul.

    Whatever, anything that makes you feel more alive and to search for your sexuality is good. There's no sense in locking up and watching people fuck on a screen.
     

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