How did you feel after a porn watching session?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Di.Do.555, Jun 17, 2020.

  1. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    On my quest to understand human psychology i have delved very deep into understanding sexuality and human emotions.
    My question to the ex- addicts as well as the nofappers who are trying to quit:
    How exactly did u feel after every porn watching session?
    And also please mention your emotions before the session.
     
  2. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    It's hard to articulate even when you are not in the haze of brain fog. Also are you distinguishing between P alone and pmo?
     
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  3. ola501

    ola501 Fapstronaut

    After: like a looser, disgusted and angry with myself, all the brainfog disappears and you realize how much you failed in life
     
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  4. I am new here and new to not PMOing. 2 and 1/2 days aint a whole lot, but its better than P at least every day. I have found that most of the time for me i just end up viewing without MO, or at least without O. I have lost my sexuality from it. Its so embarrasing. I feel its sometimes just the dopamine kick of like the taboo nature of it, as well as most of the other triggers.

    I always feel ashamed, like im just totally given up, ya know. And the fear of my significant other just knowing what i am doin is bad enough. Regret is a real big one (hindsight is 20/20).
    All of these types of thoughts are encircling after and some even before any of the PMO.
    And despair comes in a little too, like am i ever gonna just grow the damn willpower...

    Before i typically am just bored because i wired my brain to go to P or PMO to literally pass the time. And then ill think of everything that i should be doin and get more down on myself and then just replace those thoughts with others.

    Hope i didnt misunderstand what the OPs question was but here ya go.
     
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  5. Candun

    Candun Fapstronaut

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    In my experience why and when you relapse have a strong effect on how you feel before or after you relapse.

    Why:
    1. You relapse because of a crazy strong urge and you feel like you have no choice but to watch P, even if you don't want to.
    2. You watch PMO after rationalizing and justifying a relapse.

    When:
    3. You relapse after a significant amount of time free from PMO
    4. You relapse after a couple days or during a binge period.

    1 and 3: Before and during PMO it seems all you feel is the urge to do it, but you don't even enjoy the process at all.
    After, you just feel nothing. Completely lost. It doesn't really sink in until a while after. Then you feel anger, hopelessness, depression, and sadness.

    1 and 4: The minute the strong urge comes you just do it. Very little if any dissenting thoughts. During the process, you give in and it feels great. After, you feel a mix of anger, depression, and dissapointment for allowing yourself to feel so weak and powerless.

    2 and 3: Before doing it, you feel really excited knowing your about to PMO for the first time in a while. While doing it, you feel a sense of euphoria and ask yourself why you ever stopped doing it. After, you feel fine. Maybe a small sense of regret for ending your streak, but the promises you make to yourself to regulate your use nullifies these regrets.

    2 and 4: Before doing it, you feel a moderate sense of excitement. During it, you feel good from the rush but not great. After, you feel depressed and yearn for the feeling of being free from PMO for a long period of time.

    These are just some of my personal experiences. Of course there are a lot of other factors that can make you feel different emotions or more intense emotions.
     
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  6. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    I think the word I was looking for is numb. It's not surprising that people can't put together a detailed relapse report because of being in that kind of mental state, I know for me it's pretty shut down. When you've been edging for hours and then O you're going to bed right after and it's just ... a kind of repression I think. You don't want to think about what you just did, and on some level even if I didn't consciously have the thought I think it was like well it already happened anyway, but then it happens again the next night..

    As for before the session, I guess there's some boredom, loneliness.. Some pining and longing. Even if it is a lie. Even if you go to work and feed yourself etc. I think there's a lot of unmet needs when you turn to porn. Not that porn actually fills those needs but it makes you feel better - for a little while.
     
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