How Did You Learn About Sex? - Possible Triggers

Absolutely brilliant! Of course... seeds.

 

I remember being attracted to women from a young age. I started masturbating v young, just knowing that it felt nice. I was remember noticing when I first ejaculated. I was shocked and scared that something was wrong with me! A while later I remember a very uncomfortable discussion with my dad once when I was in 7th grade. Pretty sure he mentioned the phrase “the birds and the bees” but can’t remember much about what we discussed, other than him telling me to do my business in private.

As I shared a room with my younger brother which masturbation started off prone (i.e. TMS/lying on my front) once I thought he was asleep. Since the beginning prone is the only way I have ever masturbated.

Not long after the talk with my dad I got my own room and discovered porn mags which I began to collect/stash and which I enjoyed with reckless abandon. Then in the late 90s/early noughties I discovered chatting and videos which could be downloaded I separate pieces and then pieced together (over dial up so took ages to download but boy they were worth it). Also Kazaa and later Bit Torrent helped me amass a huge collection. Then with high speed broadband streaming became de rigeur and when I got my first iPhone in 2010...my use went out of control. All along my understanding of what sex was about and how it was done warped into something bit resembling the intimacy and closeness of proper lovemaking.

Today at the age of 40 I am an emotional and nervous wreck lacking in confidence/direction and I am convinced that my PMO addiction and lack of understanding of sex have contributed to my state of mind. I am now on day 32 of my reset, hoping to make positive changes to my life and my marriage to a wonderful woman with whom I have three beautiful children.