I started masturbating when I was 11, after I discovered that it would alleviate the built up sexual energy that kept getting stronger and stronger as a pre-teen. Soon after, it became a regular thing, and it has been for the last 15 years of my life. At first, I didn't think much of it. I would masturbate to alleviate anxiety, stress, depression. I would masturbate when I was bored. I would masturbate to make me sleepy so I wouldn't spend hours trying to fall asleep. I would masturbate so I could rid myself of the constant sexual thoughts I would have. To this day, all these things still hold true. I lost my virginity when I was 18. After my first (and only) serious relationship ended badly soon after I turned 20 (time when I also started smoking weed, which I quit 3 weeks ago), I was not looking for anything serious for a long while and sex became a very casual thing for me. I've had a lot of sexual partners since, and although it was fun for the time being, although I was very ethical about my approach and although I've learnt a lot about sex, relationships and myself because of it, I am not particularly proud of it and regularly experience guilt when I think back about it, specially as I keep feeling like a slave to my sexual urges. I have a very high sex drive and its been very hard to come to peace with it. Today is my first day of quitting porn, so that is definitely a step in the right direction. But I wonder what would come next. Even without porn, what's a healthy amount of masturbation? If I'm not in a relationship, how does casual (though intimate) sex tie into all of it (if it doesn't feel wrong)? How should I deal with my daily sexual urges? How should I approach relationships (or should I even have one as long as I haven't dealt with this)? My hypersexuality has led me to believe that monogamy might not be for me, but then again having several partners hasn't necessarily brought me the satisfaction I've sought it in the past. Through my research and experiences, I've learnt that monogamy is a choice and that humans (mostly men) are hardwired to be promiscuous. For people who decide to be monogamous, love is the main, if not only, thing that allows them to stay sexually faithful. But faithfulness is subjective and not only sexual. I have met non-monogamous couples that are faithful to each other in the sense that they're completely honest and transparent with each other and they do not do anything outside of the agreed boundaries of their relationship, and they've been living happily together for years. So for both monogamous and non-monogamous couples, love is the constant that allows them to be faithful, whether it be sexually and/or emotionally. Part of me is led to believe that I cannot possibly decide with clarity what I truly want out of a relationship until I have made peace with my sex drive. Beyond that, I mainly want to rid myself of the daily guilt and have a healthy relationship with myself and with my sexual life. In light of that, I am open to all and any constructive criticism.