How do I control my urges to binge on porn?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Haricus Dracon, Aug 25, 2021.

  1. Haricus Dracon

    Haricus Dracon New Fapstronaut

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    I am continuously trying to nofap.....but the chaser effect is the worst case...Please help
     
  2. Forward74

    Forward74 Fapstronaut

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    Get a hobby. I started learning guitar just doing anything besides screentime. They say if you commit 30,000 hours to something you’ve mastered it. How long has the average guy fapped!
     
    ANewFocus, Meshuga, Jrmz94 and 2 others like this.
  3. A Naija boy

    A Naija boy Fapstronaut

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    Get rubber bands and wear them on your wrists. When the urge to fap comes, smack those wrists against yourself. works for me
     
  4. KKS123

    KKS123 Fapstronaut

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    I agree find a hobby by doing something you like also stay on track with scheduling your day and doing reflections.
     
  5. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    How do you control your urges to not binge on porn?

    Well if you're an addict then you will probably want to binge on it after you have used it once.

    So the answer is try to stop doing it altogether.

    Something I have realised is see if I got the option to PMO once for a short period of time, or if I got the option to have one or two alcoholic drinks, but then I must stop after this. What I have realised is I wouldn't want to PMO at all if this was all I could get, I wouldn't want any alcoholic drinks at all if this was all I could get.

    I feel like I need to binge on these things to some extent after I have PMOed once, after I have had one drink, and if I couldn't binge on them to some extent then I actually wouldn't want them at all. This is actually how I feel about these things.
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2021
  6. I Hate PMO

    I Hate PMO Fapstronaut

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    Simply say NO and give 100%.

    It's a pretty easy recipe but that's the only way basically, one Chinese philosopher said something like control your thoughts they will become your actions etc, that's my way of doing Nofap
     
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  7. sam30

    sam30 Fapstronaut

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    My brain is telling me to go edge.. it’s tempting me to go and make me look at escort website. I am trying so hard now to avoid it.. one glimpse of it will be all over… I need to stay strong.. my urges are getting stronger.
     
  8. A Naija boy

    A Naija boy Fapstronaut

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    How many day are u on rn?
     
  9. sam30

    sam30 Fapstronaut

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    About 60 days now… worst bit is going up town and seeing so many hot girls…makes me want to go to the massage parlour and relapse.. staying strong.. I know I am trying to edge but trying my hardest to abstained from it…this is so painful
     
    Meshuga likes this.
  10. A Naija boy

    A Naija boy Fapstronaut

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    Just keep on pushing tho
    You can do this
     
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  11. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    Delete all bookmarks, delete your history and any pictures you’ve saved.
     
  12. HelperX

    HelperX Fapstronaut

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    Use this method. It works 100%.

    Whenever you have strong urges, tell your seeking dopamine brain that greater pleasure is better than pleasure. What's better than pleasure? Greater pleasure. A strong urge comes? Think about how big your libido will be in 3 months. Just that, when an urge comes, you only have to think about how big your sexual energy was when you discovered porn. Wouldn't you want to experience such pleasure again? Then wait 3 months and then decide wether to release the sexual energy and enjoy maximum pleasure.
    The thing is that when the 3 months come, you'll most likely have forgotten about porn altogether or even if you relapse, your 3 months progress are not gone so repeat all of that for 3 months again until eventually porn is out of your mind.
     
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  13. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    Contradictory advice here
    For the record, the second part is the accurate one.
    You can't control urges, you can't control the thoughts that fly into your head. Make peace with this truth now, because this happens often and a lot of fapstronauts get caught feeling powerless and self blame as they can't make them stop. What you can do, though, is control where your mind intentionally goes after the impulsive thought presents.
    You get these urges because your brain wants the large, reliable installments of dopamine it has been accustomed to receiving. The urges are simply reminders to take your fix, like feeling hungry or tired is a prompts to eat or sleep. The difference is you don't need dopamine from that source. More on that later. Your brain only wants it from that source because that is what has worked in the past. The only way to get the urges to fully stop is to reboot your brain, so it no longer recognizes erotic stimulation as a reliable dopamine source. The way you handle an urge when it comes, in the meantime, is reorient your focus onto something else.
    Another suggestion offered to you was to get a hobby. That's a good way to occupy the new time you have available, and also gives you a ready subject to focus on instead of the urge and how much you hate the urge, and why you have the urge, etc. Many guys are working on other areas of self improvement as they reboot. I would recommend meditating on replacing some of the negative views porn has given you with better attitudes, but sometimes these issues are triggers in themselves. I found I think too much about sex, and at first I wanted to replace urging thoughts with intellectually deconstructing why I obsess on this topic. I am not ready for that, though, so I shifted to focusing on what I should think about instead. I chose to focus on love, and what exactly love is, and that has proven to be a deep subject with plenty of distraction from urges. You can tailor a thought/meditation regimen for yourself. Maybe you want to think about your personal purpose, or your short to long term goals, and your plan to achieve them. Whatever interests you will work.

    I said before, you don't need dopamine from an erotic source, but you do still need dopamine. Sometimes getting it is as simple as taking a moment to appreciate yourself for doing the right thing, from washing your dishes to meeting a long term goal and everything in between. One of the most effective ways for getting it is exercise. 15 minutes of sustained activity is known by mental health experts to improve your mood and fight depression. I run, because I'm a skinny guy so it doesn't suck for me as much, and my life circumstances make it easier than other forms. A lot of guys lift. Whatever you do, ensuring your brain does get enough dopamine is a good way to blunt the urges.

    Another good way is to control your environment.
    Stay away from uptown. Make it harder to access P. Spend less time online. Don't go to the gym that has as many women, or don't go at all and use your own body as your weights. Don't watch TikToks, YouTube channels, Instagram, stuff you know is going to deliver erotic content. Live like a monk.
    It's not forever. It's for your 90 days, or however long you want to set it, until you reboot. After that you can go out and enjoy life like a normal person, but not now.

    Stay strong, and stay smart.
     
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  14. HelperX

    HelperX Fapstronaut

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    I believe he meant with "control your thoughts" to reduce them by thinking about something else, basically deviating their route. That is possible. Of course you can not stop impulsive thoughts from happening because they are, as the adjective says, impulsive, but you can make them become less through time and with abstinence from porn, get rid of them.
    Same goes with urges, it is possible to control their outburst and lessen them through time.
     
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2021
  15. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    Fair, but from experience I know it's important to be clear. Many of us struggle with differentiating between the thoughts we can control vs. the ones we can't, and are not always clear on what "give 100%" means or looks like. I know it is meant to mean "give full commitment and use all your resources," but in the past I personally have interpreted phrases like this as an invitation to white knuckle it, which should be a last resort.
     
  16. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    Put your devices away at night and get a good sleep. Porn drains all aspects of your life. Financially, physically and mentally. A good night’s sleep is a superpower and when you’ve been up all night edging, and suddenly you stop that, you will feel like a new person. Follow a routine and you will succeed.
     

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