How do I cope with being unattractive?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Bluffy, Aug 21, 2015.

  1. Silentknight

    Silentknight New Fapstronaut

    Stop fapping and go to the gym! After some time without fapping your testosterone will skyrocket. The acne will clear as long as your take care of your face. Females are naturally attracted to a lot of testosterone. Go to the gym and get your release from lifting and/or running. Get enough sleep and remove as much stress from your life as possible.

    You're only in high school, things will get better. Things will change, you will change. Confidence and personality get the girl. A woman doesn't want a low self esteem punk. Confidence goes a long way even farther than looks. If she sees your rock what you got she'll think you're sexy as hell.

    good luck to you brother
    Bluffy likes this.
  2. Josh Vills

    Josh Vills Fapstronaut

    I've encounter the same problem but as the time goes by, you will try to improve yourself. When I was on high school I always try to hide with my friends & looking down when I am walking. Try to exercise, eat healthy, read books & STOP doing PMO. Remember confidence is always the key to get a girl. :)
  3. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

    I swear I have responded to this post before?
    Step 1, Build your confidence by reading self-help books. Most decent women are more attracted to a man with confidence than they are to a man with good looks. Good looks will get their initial interest, but confidence will win them over in the long run and confidence will help you be successful in all areas of your life.
    If Step 1 fails go to Step 2,
    Step 2, Win the lottery. Shallow, worthless women will flock to you once they realize you have tons of cash.
    Eric'sBlue likes this.
  4. Isvara

    Isvara Fapstronaut

    Here's the thing, as a guy your attractiveness is rarely attained through looks (which probably aren't as bad as you think). For the wrinkles when you smile, that is actually supposed to happen. Many people have the dark rings and it generally isn't seen as overtly unattractive. If you have some bad acne, start by washing your face (with soap) and using a little dab of lotion every morning and night. As for what makes men attractive, the best way to get better is to look at professional pickup artists. The best is Niel Strauss. Basically there are a few overarching rules 1. Smile when you walk into a room, 2.Talk to everyone as though they are a friend (even if you don't know them) 3. Convey your personality by telling stories and paying particular attention to entertaining an connecting to the men of the group and the less attractive women. 4. Once the girl you are interested in seems interested start talking to her but without detracting from the report you have with the group. The number 1 thing women look for in a man is a sense of humor, and the #2 is confidence. #3 is security. None of those things have anything to do with how you look. thats how you end up seeing really ugly guys dating supermodels. confidence which you say you have little of is rather easy. See, confidence isn't actually a thing you build. It is one of the natural resting states that your body can be in; and like happiness, anger and excitement you can fool your body into making you more confident through body language. The quickest thing is 2 minutes in the superman pose which will lower the cortisol levels in your blood which is one of the primary fear hormones. You will not only feel less stressed and more confident, but because cortisol restricts brain function you will be smarter.
    nomo and Bluffy like this.
  5. Isvara

    Isvara Fapstronaut

    I think he means like playing sports, running, lifting weights, etc. Basically the moral is NoFap is for keeping your mind healthy, but you still need to keep your body healthy as well!
    Bluffy likes this.
  6. Hey man, I don't know if anyone mentioned this already, but as a fellow unattractive guy, I want to remind you of the hero of unattractive men:

    Ed Sheeran:
    Ed Sheeran's girlfriend:

    Maybe she's a gold digger, I don't know. You can never know, but still, its not even about that either. THE GIRLS WHO'LL BE WORTH IT DON'T CARE ABOUT LOOKS AS MUCH AS GUYS DO. You don't know how many pretty girls I've seen with unattractive men, but because they're confident, funny, and lovable, girls chose them.

    You need to realize that you have great aspects to you. You'll find a great girl, and she doesn't have to look beautiful either. As long as she has a great heart. Girls really don't care about looks as much. They care more about being happy and marrying someone who they're comfortable with. You got this man, stay strong
    Isvara likes this.
  7. Bluffy

    Bluffy Fapstronaut

    Thanks man. I'm really trying to work on my confidence.
  8. Bluffy

    Bluffy Fapstronaut

    I am posting again because I am realizing that I am the ugly one i the family. My sisters are beautiful and I'm just an ugly person. I don't get it. My family always talks about how beautiful they are and never mention anything about me:( it gets to me pretty bad. I used to be really cute as a child and now I'm ugly. It sucks. I'm only 16 and idk what to do.
    himmelstoss likes this.
  9. slowhands

    slowhands Fapstronaut

    Don't take it too seriously. Ugliness (what a bad bad word) is something definitely relative. I don't think ugly people don't exist 'cause beauty or ugliness are really objective terms. As I actually experienced your same situation (again, take it easy, I'm 100% sure they just joke), they act like this cause they probably want to spur you to look after your image more. I mean, get a better wardrobe, hairstyle, more cure for details. So, if you're comfortable with making this changes, do it! For at least one year long my parents used to call me "old man" because of my "vintage" glasses lol I realized the time had come for a change of glasess, so I took them with me and bought a new cool pair of glasses. I'm really happy with my purchase, and so do they.

    So, probably they just expect an "outside" improvement from you. Try to raise the "beauty" issue and ask them "according to you, what should I change?".

    But please, don't feel sad or upset. Your beauty is within you and your parents are definitely proud of you!
    Bluffy likes this.
  10. Bluffy

    Bluffy Fapstronaut

    That might be true. My wardrobe needs some work lol.
    slowhands likes this.
  11. Go to the gym and work out. Put on some muscle.
  12. kevinkevin19

    kevinkevin19 Fapstronaut

    If there's one thing I learned about attraction over the years, it's that girls aren't attracted to looks primarily. They are more attracted to inner qualities like confidence, sense of humor, personality and some outer qualities like social skills, and hobbies/interests. Even if you're not that good-looking or even if consider yourself "ugly" you still have a chance to be attractive. You can do this by improving yourself. You can start with working out more, getting a new interesting hobby and dress well. I recommend reading Models by Mark Manson for the complete guide on self-improvement and improving with women.
    Never_Return_There likes this.
  13. Third_Eye

    Third_Eye Guest

    It shouldn't matter if you're attractive or not to other people. Don't worry about that. You just gotta stick with the reboot, don't relapse, and don't give up!
  14. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

    You will never be attractive to anybody with no self confidence
  15. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

    You are 17. Appearances change all the time.
  16. fdsfsd

    fdsfsd Fapstronaut

    One of my
    One of my earflapps looks like it is missing half a earflapp and my eyes are not symmetrical. These features was something that teared down my self confidence, in addition to me being bullied and hating school.

    ------Things that helped me

    I am now 18 and thankfully am not as selfconsius as i once where, wich i believe is because i got over the self-conscius phase that we all go through and my views on different things changed.

    (not being bullied at school)

    Now i have adopted a more passive outlook on life (women in particular) and i am more independent and don't need others to succed with my plans in life.

    One of the reasons why i joined nofap was to stop thinking about women and to prepare myself for a life without sex.

    Getting friends improved my self confidence.

    I breifly talked about my insecurieties with my dad to try to get a objective look on my appearance, and he assured me that i look good.

    Me being a person that likes being alone, makes what others might think about my appearance irrelevant.

    As people grow older and more mature it gets easier to be around others.

    In my experience people view you in a different way than we view ourselves, someone has maybe at some point complained about a feature on their body that you never saw before or never thought about as weird, this can also be the case for you and me in relation to our insecurities.

    We humans see things very subjectively and we also discriminate and have different expectations and thoughts about people based on how they look, we all do even you and me, because we are humans, but some of us are more aware of it/ doesn't do it to the same extent.

    It is not good to obsess over things that are beyond our controll. We did not choose what we got when we were born, but it is what we do with what we have that is important.

    We share much in common and i believe that you will overcome this. I wish you the best of luck! :)

    (Also i perceive other things like intelligence to be of far higher importance than phisical appearance and more tightly correlated with happiness)
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2017
  17. Derek5150

    Derek5150 Fapstronaut

    When you already describe yourself in that regard, it will definitely affect your confidence and you need to forget about all of these negative hang-ups. You need to forget about it and focus on the things you enjoy in life. If having good grades is your goal, then focus on it. From my personal experience, some of the most beautiful girls go to some of the finest schools along with having amazing personalities. You are better than this, my friend. Carry your head high, recline your shoulders back and lift your chest up high. You have to own up to your appearance and not let these negative thoughts get the best of you.

    You might feel this way about yourself, but one day you will be surprised when you hear these rumors about yourself from other people who might be extremely attracted to you. Take it in day-by-day, and appreciate the qualities that make you -- for who you are. Your character matters more than a silly appearance, we all get old, fat, and wrinkly. These negative thoughts don't own your life; you own your life. So, what are you going to do about this? Stay strong, brother.
    fdsfsd likes this.

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