How do I deal with this unfixable problem?

[LoveIsPowerful]

First of all I am not expecting anyone to have answers to my situation but maybe someone here is in a similar situation as I am.

Ok so when I was around 8 years old I had my first brain concussion, it happened in 3rd grade it was winter and kids were waiting in line at a small frozen puddle, when it was my turn I tried to some special trick to look cool, I slipped forward and hit the ice with my head quite hard. I didn’t get unconscious and can remember most things but can’t remember all details of course (I’m 24 now).

After some days my brain got checked at the doctor but he or she (don’t remember) didn’t find anything and basically told me to just rest for a couple days and I could go back to school. The following years I didn’t notice anything, I didn’t feel dumber after the incident or that I couldnt do things anymore. The effect of this injury showed up much later in life when I was around 16 years old I have noticed that I’m not able to speak as good as others and have difficulty to speak my thoughts. At the time I thought that I was just shy.

When I was 21 years old I’ve found out that I have an aquired expressive language disorder, which basically means that my language skills are below my intelligence level. I could watch a movie 10 times and I wouldn’t be able to explain what the movie was about. Someone with normal language skills could explain the movie by watching a 1 minute trailer better than me.

I also have no friends for that reason, which doesn’t bother me that much tbh, but what bothers me is that I’m so limited in life. I can’t go to bars and make friends or pickup girls. No one wants to be friends with someone who’s only able to speak short sentences and if I do have to speak for more than 10 seconds at a time I stumble over my words and make a complete fool of myself.

I appear to be confident on the outside thanks to 200+ days of NoFap but what does confidence matter if you can’t use it?

Any answer is appreciated. Thanks for reading.

 

[_Xavier_]

I'm very sorry about that situation. That is something I have feared happening to myself.
I do not know the answer to this question I am about to ask. I do not come here to strike you down, but to question your logic. If you appear confident on the outside, are you truly confident?

I also have no friends for that reason, which doesn’t bother me that much tbh, but what bothers me is that I’m so limited in life.

How did you come to this conclusion?

I can’t go to bars and make friends or pickup girls.

How did you come to this conclusion? I've seen the ugliest fattest men with beautiful women. I just don't think this is true.

No one wants to be friends with someone who’s only able to speak short sentences

How do you know? Adults can be friends with small kids. Kids are very interesting individuals, and for the most part they are very interested in themselves. I generally will listen to them and have a good little chat.

I stumble over my words and make a complete fool of myself.

How does this make you a fool? I think the only fool here is the doctor. I was just listening to a conversation last night on a podcast. One guy was stuttering the whole time. He didn't apologize. He didn't acknowledge. And it seemed like he didn't even notice. He powered right through like a boss and I think everyone respected that about him.

You tripped. A dumb doctor didn't do his job right. And now "you" have all these problems.
Personally, I think you are taking the ownership for these problems. You think "something is wrong with me."
To all of that I say, "not your fault, not your fault, not your fault."

Sorry for the lengthy post here, but..

Your parents took you to a crappy doctor
Your crappy doctor gave you a crappy language "disorder"
Essentially some people fucked up. I hope they said sorry.

Keep your chin high. Look at people in the eyes. Don't apologize or explain unless someone asks. Power through what you say.
Let people know with your body language that you are OK with yourself. Don't slouch, keep your neck straight, etc.

People will take comfort in your comfort with yourself.
If you are comfortable, they will be comfortable. Unless they don't have empathy (stay away from those).

Did I miss the mark completely or was this helpful at all?

 

[Paperweight]

Hello

Thanks for sharing your story.

You struggle with understanding dialogue in films, but how do you find reading?

I am sorry to hear of your problem, brother. I don't have any great wisdom to share with you, but there are plenty of people with disabilities who enjoy life and are accomplished personally and professionally. Hopefully you can put your talents to good use, you are an intelligent man.

"Actions speak louder than words", there's definitely truth in that saying. I respect a confident man of few words far more than a loud-mouthed coward.

Finally, there's no shame or guilt in your condition, so have pride in who you are. If you have to work harder than other people, then take pride in your hard work too. Too many people open their mouths without thinking, I think you are the opposite of a fool.

 

[Deleted Account]

After some days my brain got checked at the doctor but he or she (don’t remember) didn’t find anything and basically told me to just rest for a couple days and I could go back to school.

I am no medical doctor nor qualified to give such advice, but if the doctor said he found nothing wrong maybe your brain is not damaged as you think. However, maybe you can seek another doctor's diagnose to be sure. Have also maybe considered anxiety disorder as one reason you are not able to socialize well? It is pretty common and nothing of a big deal to make you disengaged from socializing.

 

[shattered]

First of all I am not expecting anyone to have answers to my situation but maybe someone here is in a similar situation as I am.

Ok so when I was around 8 years old I had my first brain concussion, it happened in 3rd grade it was winter and kids were waiting in line at a small frozen puddle, when it was my turn I tried to some special trick to look cool, I slipped forward and hit the ice with my head quite hard. I didn’t get unconscious and can remember most things but can’t remember all details of course (I’m 24 now).

After some days my brain got checked at the doctor but he or she (don’t remember) didn’t find anything and basically told me to just rest for a couple days and I could go back to school. The following years I didn’t notice anything, I didn’t feel dumber after the incident or that I couldnt do things anymore. The effect of this injury showed up much later in life when I was around 16 years old I have noticed that I’m not able to speak as good as others and have difficulty to speak my thoughts. At the time I thought that I was just shy.

When I was 21 years old I’ve found out that I have an aquired expressive language disorder, which basically means that my language skills are below my intelligence level. I could watch a movie 10 times and I wouldn’t be able to explain what the movie was about. Someone with normal language skills could explain the movie by watching a 1 minute trailer better than me.

I also have no friends for that reason, which doesn’t bother me that much tbh, but what bothers me is that I’m so limited in life. I can’t go to bars and make friends or pickup girls. No one wants to be friends with someone who’s only able to speak short sentences and if I do have to speak for more than 10 seconds at a time I stumble over my words and make a complete fool of myself.

I appear to be confident on the outside thanks to 200+ days of NoFap but what does confidence matter if you can’t use it?

Any answer is appreciated. Thanks for reading.

The reason I'm responding to this post, is I've been trying to learn a second language for a couple of years, and am unable to express myself in it.

I can recommend one book to you: Talent is overrated.
See if some clues emerge to help you in that book.
Also watching David Goggins on youtube, might encourage you to find a way to overcome your limitations.

 

[LoveIsPowerful]

Hello

Thanks for sharing your story.

You struggle with understanding dialogue in films, but how do you find reading?

I don't have any issues with understanding dialogues or reading, I can understand everything like a normal human. What I have difficulties with is expressing my thoughts. For example you see a picture and have to describe what you see, you see the picture but you can't describe it. I hope this explains it better. Communicating through text is better than voice because obviously in writing I have time to correct my mistakes, in speech I can't just erase what I just said and have to come up with a response faster then through text.

 

[LoveIsPowerful]

The reason I'm responding to this post, is I've been trying to learn a second language for a couple of years, and am unable to express myself in it.

I can recommend one book to you: Talent is overrated.
See if some clues emerge to help you in that book.
Also watching David Goggins on youtube, might encourage you to find a way to overcome your limitations.

Thank you, I'll definitely check him out!

 

[LoveIsPowerful]

I am no medical doctor nor qualified to give such advice, but if the doctor said he found nothing wrong maybe your brain is not damaged as you think. However, maybe you can seek another doctor's diagnose to be sure. Have also maybe considered anxiety disorder as one reason you are not able to socialize well? It is pretty common and nothing of a big deal to make you disengaged from socializing.

Thank you for your answer. The consequential damages of a brain injury often get unnoticed and can often occur month or even years after the concussion.

 

[LoveIsPowerful]

I'm very sorry about that situation. That is something I have feared happening to myself.
I do not know the answer to this question I am about to ask. I do not come here to strike you down, but to question your logic. If you appear confident on the outside, are you truly confident?


How did you come to this conclusion?

How did you come to this conclusion? I've seen the ugliest fattest men with beautiful women. I just don't think this is true.

How do you know? Adults can be friends with small kids. Kids are very interesting individuals, and for the most part they are very interested in themselves. I generally will listen to them and have a good little chat.

How does this make you a fool? I think the only fool here is the doctor. I was just listening to a conversation last night on a podcast. One guy was stuttering the whole time. He didn't apologize. He didn't acknowledge. And it seemed like he didn't even notice. He powered right through like a boss and I think everyone respected that about him.

You tripped. A dumb doctor didn't do his job right. And now "you" have all these problems.
Personally, I think you are taking the ownership for these problems. You think "something is wrong with me."
To all of that I say, "not your fault, not your fault, not your fault."

Sorry for the lengthy post here, but..

Your parents took you to a crappy doctor
Your crappy doctor gave you a crappy language "disorder"
Essentially some people fucked up. I hope they said sorry.

Keep your chin high. Look at people in the eyes. Don't apologize or explain unless someone asks. Power through what you say.
Let people know with your body language that you are OK with yourself. Don't slouch, keep your neck straight, etc.

People will take comfort in your comfort with yourself.
If you are comfortable, they will be comfortable. Unless they don't have empathy (stay away from those).

Did I miss the mark completely or was this helpful at all?

Thank you this definitely helped.