How do I get through the first few days?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by BAF Speaker, Sep 20, 2021.

  1. BAF Speaker

    BAF Speaker Fapstronaut

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    Would really appreciate tips on getting through the first few days of PMO streak?

    I'm in a joint addiction with PMO, TV, video games. All media. I use it as a crutch to not feel pain when things go badly. When I use one, I quickly use all of them. So I'm trying to quit them all at once. I've had more success than before. However, this last week I've reset a lot. So asking anyone for help please :)

    Here's some things I've tried so far:

    - Completely removing any electronics from my house. That never works.
    - Not removing any electronics, putting warning signs on computers to take a walk if needed
    - Taking long walks when I feel an urge
    - Meditation
    - Emotional work to get to a healthy emotional place, not needing porn as an emotional crutch.
    - Identify and minimise triggers in my life that make me want to PMO
    - Read many books including "the easy way" and "your body on porn"
    - Reframe the urge into the same kind of itch as with a puss-filled sore. You don't scratch if you want it to get better.
    - Journal here when I have the urge (although I haven't done that lately)
    - Putting pressure and having no pressure to stop and not reset (different attempts)
    - Quit caffeine so thoughts/emotions in general weren't as intense
    - Talk to a psychologist regularly
    - Listen to audiobooks a lot instead of media.

    The withdrawals from PMO particularly are so intense!
     
    Caged_bird likes this.
  2. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Minimize time spent in your room and your place of living. Spend all your time at work or school. Only be in your house while eating. Only go into your room to sleep.

    Be around friends, family, and your partner as much as possible; having conversations with real people shuts off the parts of your brain that fantasize about stuff.

    Exercise everyday. Long distance running, walking, and swimming are particularly helpful. Running is especially good because it removes swelling in your penis and pelvic region caused by arousal, making the arousal go away. It also makes physical arousal symptoms less intense if you're tired from exercise (most ideal plan would be one that combines distance running with leg resistance training or calisthenics).

    Check out this post I made about boosting serotonin levels to make rebooting easier. Using Brain Chemistry to Inhibit Compulsions and Reboot Easier

    Hope this helps
     
  3. jn812

    jn812 Fapstronaut

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    Consider:
    - Deepening your spirituality. For me, going deep into prayer, fasting, or meditation, and really trying to "align my will with God's" is a guaranteed way to make progress. It's hard to speak in generics with spirituality because there are such varying perspectives. But as a Catholic, confession and going to Mass daily is lifesaving for me.
    - Real life accountability. If you are open to it, I've found a 12-step program to be transformative in making my current streak possible. An alternative is opening up to a close friend, and keeping tabs with them every single day. I've found most of my friends are happy to listen about my addiction, and often have the same problem themselves.
    - Digging deep into what is driving you to reset and relapse. What emotions are you running away from, or which ones are you running towards? What are your triggers, really -- not just at the first level, but the second level, and the third? Can you connect the trigger to something traumatic or hurtful in your past? For me, I almost always can. Addiction is deep-seated for a reason, and we will not be fully free of it until we truly understand it. If you're open to it, I recommend "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts," which is very insightful for understanding addiction.
    - Just commit to always keep trying when you fail, even if it takes you the rest of your life. Eventually you WILL make progress.
     
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  4. I suggest this point to another member who was really struggling to keep a clean streak. I asked him to call his Internet provider and to tell them to block all explicit sites and to keep that restriction until the end of your contract with them. This means that even when you call them and demand the restriction to be uplifted they will not be able to do it. I'm speaking of experience too. My wife contacted our Internet provider last Monday morning and I've been clean since.
     
  5. BAF Speaker

    BAF Speaker Fapstronaut

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    dark2light - From past experience with similar experiences, I'd use a vpn, or find a wifi somewhere else and download for later. You can't truly stop an addict like me when I want something. Really appreciate the thought, but when I go down the path of self-restriction, getting access and 'beating the limit' becomes a game for my mind to pick away at.

    modernstore99 - I work/study from home unfortunately.
    - great idea, I'll contact friends.
    - Really interesting post, didn't know seratonin and dopamine were oppositely correlated. How do I apply that besides exercise more?

    jn812 - Yes, am meditating a lot and it does help to an extent. My spirituality is close to Taoism, and Buddhism. And I do want to learn more about these philosophies.
    - I have an accountability friend, but we don't call in every day, he's very time poor so just can't answer every time I have an urge. Particularly late at night.
    - Well yes, the PMO content I watch is linked to some past trauma.
    - But the triggers at the moment are just performing badly with the work I'm doing mostly, and negative self talk around that. That's something I can and am working on.
    p.s. Hungry ghosts is on my reading list, will get to it soon. Thanks for reminding me!
    - Yes! That was my first post here, that it doesn't matter if I fail, because I'm building a lifestyle not keeping a streak. The goal is to work towards a better lifestyle. Not to have a better lifestyle. The path is the goal. Failure from my perspective would just be if I give up on building that lifestyle.
     
  6. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    I highly suggest removing yourself from your room and place of living for most of the day in the first few weeks. Your mind has been conditioned to find these places arousing since you PMO in them all the time. As long as you're there, the thought will be in the back of your mind. If leaving your house is physically not an option, stay away from your room (or other places where you PMO). Kitchen or living room is great because you're always around other people, and being outside can have a calming effect as well. Any environment that reminds you less and less of your normal PMO environment will make the first part of the reboot much easier.

    There are other suggestions in my post for raising serotonin levels. You can also find plenty online.
     

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