How do I make love with GF without finishing?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Deleted Account, Jul 7, 2019.

  1. This is the biggest challenge for me so far, but I want to keep going on my streak forever. I sometimes just get tempted in the heat of the moment, so I ask how do I stop myself? Seriously need to know
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. zaboo

    zaboo Fapstronaut

    I'm assuming she knows about your porn addiction?
  3. Yea
  4. smoke_ash

    smoke_ash Fapstronaut

    What's wrong with finishing when making love to your girlfriend? Do you think this is somehow going to disturb your fight against porn addiction?
  5. Rostien

    Rostien New Fapstronaut

    I also think about this. Is finishing going to make me feel like I’ve done it all for nothing. I'm trying 90 days without pmo. But what happens when I reach my target. I’ve agreed no more porn ever and I will of course have sex again. But Should I finish when having sex, and how many times should I have sex a week or month etc etc. I suppose I’ve got another 60 days to figure this out.
  6. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

  7. ironmaing

    ironmaing Fapstronaut

    Try more sensual sex to avoid going so quick. If you just enjoy the moment and go slow you can last as long as you want. First 5mins are the most prone to O but after that you're a lot more relaxed. Once you feel like you've had enough, you can cuddle and spoon. Be honest with her and explain this abstinence journey that you're on and that you'd like to enjoy sex but not cum.

    Did you have PIED before you started nofap?
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. Capt. U

    Capt. U Fapstronaut

    Use your hands and mouth or whatever you can bro, work on your other parts without penetration. Be careful though, she might really want you after all that foreplay lol. Good luck my dude!
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. Ukulele

    Ukulele Fapstronaut

    Similarly to you, I thought about satisfying my gf without cumming, so we’ve been practicing karezza.

    It’s been tough to recondition my mind to focus on things other than pleasure, performance, and orgasm. Things such as touch, sound, breathing, and just being present. Most of the times I get carried away and ejaculate. Or not orgasm, but then come back to shoot it the next day. But on the few occasions so far that I was able to ease into sex, be present, and just feel the experience without any agenda, I felt greatly satisfied after.

    Hope you find what you are looking for buddy.
    Deleted Account, VK2019 and ironmaing like this.
  10. ironmaing

    ironmaing Fapstronaut

    My gf said to me a few months ago that she feels like I don’t know how to have sex...and she’s right. I rarely managed to get into the moment, always had doubts racing through my mind and wanted to have sex as quickly as possible so not to lose boner. I realise that this is linked to PIED because I had zero confidence in my boners.

    I think I’ll never see porn again. I’m so motivated it’s a relief. Even when friends send me porn vids or pics I don’t even open them. I haven’t MO either, which is tough but under control.

    With the gf, spending a weekend together next week she’s dubbed as ‘romantic’. Think I’ll try Karezza and see where it leads. I may pop an ED pill to help with my confidence and phase it out once my brain is rewired (assuming I have beated my PIED and I can have sex again).
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. Shy_1990

    Shy_1990 Fapstronaut

    You can't do this every time. But I'm learning to make love to my girl without having my genitals involved as well.
    Lots of intimacy, massage, cuddling ect ect ect and I do pleasure her by other means. But my genitals stay inside my chastity device. Im not suggesting you go in chastity.
    But you can make the experience about expressing your love for her and your desire to make her happy. Do everything you would do in the bedroom but just keep you genitals inside your underwear.

    This seems like it would be horrible. But trust me. You can have the most beautiful intimate experiences with your partner. Once you've stimulated your genitals its very hard to stop. But if you move the focus away from your genitals and make it about sharing intimacy and closeness with her it becomes easier.
    Im seeing a therapist for P addiction at the moment and have told her about me trying to temporarily quit PMO and permanently quit PM. She gave me some good early device.
    We crave what we can't have. If you were in a Desert and someone stole your water you would want to drink because you know you can't.

    Its the same with orgasm. Nothing you is stopping you from O. When you are making love with your partner. Don't think about it as never having O again because technically you can have it whenever. Think of it like, I can have O whenever I want. But TONIGHT I'm just going to make love with this amazing woman.
    Ukulele likes this.
  12. ironmaing

    ironmaing Fapstronaut

    I crave to have a boner, but can't get one. I wonder if I can play a mind trick to get one.....getting a bit desperate. We are both horny as hell but have no way of having sex. Don't think I've ever lived anything so frustrating in my life. Once I get my boners back, there'll be the other hurdle, which is nutting within seconds. I hear this is quite common after recovery and I know it'll be super frustrating for the gf. Poor least she says that I make her happy :s
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. melonka

    melonka Fapstronaut

    What do your partners say about it?
    On long term?

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