I relapsed today again and it felt horrible. The last 3-4 months I always fapped once a month only. My situation getting better now than half year before, as i fapped almost every day and every week. But it seems like I can't go further than 30 days. I have started this Nofap journey last December 2018 and I have watched so many Youtube videos about NoFap and NoPMO and I realized that this is the journey I've wanted. Since then I am struggling with loneliness really hard. I don't think I will ever get a girlfriend because of my look. I dont have the prettiest face and with my height with 1,65m no girl wants to have this type of guy like me. And if it is not the tip of the iceberg, I also am a shy person and an introvert. People always say that I need selfconfident and selflove but somehow I dont know about myself how this should work.... I am really sad to know that I have to be prepared to die alone. The result is struggling with loneliness. And knowing this fact makes me really sad that I've cried the last couple of weeks, every day and every night for some minutes. I always see partners on the streets walking hand by hand and this makes me really depressed and sad again that I asked -where is my love and where is my place on earth?-. Maybe I will keep on crying, maybe I am not worth it,...who knows. What I experienced is: When I feel lonely I always tend to watch female Youtubers like some ASMR Channels or staring at some pictures of Instragram beauties. Maybe you guys will think "you are the classic looser" and probably you are right. On the one hand I am struggling with being lonely and on the other hand I am getting arroused after 2 week to every beautiful woman. Therefore I continously have precum. It would be easier for me never think about woman. Not even a single seond even when they are all beautiful. I dont know what to do anymore. I've tried to be religious but it seems like even god can't help me out and started to be Agnostic. How do I get rid of this psychological desaster? Of course I wont give up. But I am not motivated anymore as before. I have no power anymore. I am so damn depressed. If you know any advice for me or you guys were at the same situation then please help me. I really would apreciate it. Thank you.