How do I prevent PMO binging after relapse?

I use spreadsheets to prevent binging after a small relapse. So whenever you relapse, quickly enter that information in the spread, now if you binge, your indicators will get even more worse. So that helps to prevent a binge after a relapse. Using this day counter on nofap won't help much especially on small streaks because once you relapse and you are at day zero, your may think to relapse even more as progress is already destroyed. But with spreadsheet you are looking at much larger picture and not just a streak. Also other benefits include indication of progress and a record of PMO history.

Also it helps you realize you have not lost all. With day counter you are back to day zero but think someone who relapsed today after 100 days and is now at day zero and someone who relapses again and again every day and is also at day zero. Both are at day 0. Do you think both are at same stage of recovery? Definitely not! Let's say you are using a percent average. If you masturbate once after 10 days then instead of back to day zero you are at 90%. Not all progress is lost, so why binge?

So what to include in a spreadsheet?

Date of PMO, number of PMO since you started recording, length of streak and some more information like reason for relapse, etc. Most important thing is your progress indicators.

I use a lot of indicator of progress. Like a yearly average that finds average number of masturbations per year. It's formula is simple: no. of masturbation in a year/no. of days passed in that year. For example, I have masturbated 7 times in 2023. Last one was on 17th January. So my yearly average for 2023 so far would be 7/17 = 0.411...

You can also find in how many days you have masturbated once using this formula 1/average. For example: 1/0.411 = 2.4... So I have masturbated once every 2.4 days.

Similarly you can create monthly average. I also use a 30 day moving average. Moving average record average number of you PMO activity for a specific time period. They are quite accurate but it is also important to choose right size for the average. It should be 2 times your longest streak. It's formula is No. of PMO in x days/ x days. For example my longest streak was 15 days so I will take the length to be 30 days. Now I know in last 30 days I have masturbated 7 times. So my moving average will be 7/30 = 0.233...

I also use percentage averages. In this you may start from a day and start recording you PMO activity.
It's formula is (x days - no. of PMO) * 100 / x days. For example I have MOed about 34 times from 28 September 2022 to 17 January 2023. It is about 111 days. So my percentage average will be (111 - 34)* 100 / 111 = 69.3%. You can give them same importance as you would to you result in school.

P.S. If you are not motivated enough after a relapse you may still fall into a binge despite spreadsheet. Usually I feel strong regret after a relapse so that gives me motivation to not binge.

 

This is a great post, this is actually what we need to have more information about our inputs. If this idea would be implemented here at NoFap forum, it would be much of a help for people that think are not making progress.

 

It's a good post and a good point. Yes, the tendency is to think, oh well, I'm back to zero, so why not binge for a few hours or a few days. For me I need to decide not to PMO any more, after relapse. Your original post is a good reminder.

 

You also have to understand that you have a dopamine baseline. When you relapse your baseline goes under the normal level. Your brain wants to reach the dopamine level before the relapse again. This is why you relapse not one time but many times in a row, the so called “binging”. Because of the deficit of dopamine in the brain you do it again and again. Unfortunately I don’t know what to do against this process yet.

 

@SV47 great post, extremally useful. Especially for addicts, with that all or nothing mentality. Its literally proof in front of you to challenge the flawed thinking. Very helpful way to look at things. I will look into learning how to do this. Thanks.