How do I socialize better?

[thrwaway22]

I have been meeting friends and socializing very bad in the last 4 years, one of the reasons being porn. Before that I was pretty good on socializing and I had many good friends and a gf. Now its very hard for me to talk to anyone, that i dont know. Ever since i started watching porn I have been socially ankward and kinda socially anxious. Even simple things like going to a shop, a barber or buying clothes is very hard for me. I was once on a 2 Week nofap streak, and all of the thing i mentioned very not as hard for me to do as they were before
How can I fix this problem, and get better at socializing and not be so socially ankward?
What will help me fix it other than NOFAP???

 

[Deleted Account]

What will help me fix it other than NOFAP??

The only thing that always work.
Repeat, fail, repeat, fail again, repeat until you are able to do it.
Latin used to say "labor omnia vincit"(work defeats everything)
I feel you I suffered and still suffer a bit of social anxiety, so you just have to keep on trying no matter what.
Take it step by step, many make the mistake to believe that from 0 they could try 100.
But the first day of gym you don't start with the heaviest dumbbell, am I right?
For example if the easiest thing to overcome is the anxiety of buying clothes and staying with other people, go to a store(if not closed for quarantine, you can go afterwards if so )
When someone will approach you instead of run away or bubbling something, let him/her help you.
Try to make a joke, like if your country was in quarantine say something "I think I'll go in the pregnant section because I think that after this quarantine only there there will be clothes that fit me".
I tought about it now so I know it's a low quality joke but you'll see that instead of insulting you, he/she will smile.
You have socialized, then do this again and again until you can make high quality jokes looking people in the eyes, and you'll see that life, after all, is full of beautiful people.

 

[Sami77]

Me too,, i tried and still trying to make conversations but surprisingly i strong needs ti escape comes to me so kill the conversation. Specially on the phone.
Try meeting new friends and speak with strangers ; its better and i feel comfortable talking and making jokes to them.

 

[Castawaycasualty]

ive had the same problems as you, all due to the demon that goes by the name of porn. and my only advice is step out of the shell and take off the mask make simple remarks to strangers.. whats the worst that could happen they give you dirty look? if so fuck em! ive been trying to exercise this in small and simple ways to start. just the other day i was looking for certain vitamins in the pharmacy section and was having trouble find the ones i was looking for and an older women was next me and i assumed she was having the same problem, so all i said "not very alphabetical are they?" she had a good laugh and we had a small conversation... just start small and build from there.. you can do bro!

 

[Deleted Account]

I’m also someone who overthinks conversation and feels like I suck at it. Keep it simple. People will talk about ANYTHING. Something. Look around. Just say hey how’s it going, beautiful day out here or whatever and if they wanna talk they will keep it going

 

[Deleted Account]

Just a friendly reminder... Do not socialize at the current moment in time. Stay safe!

 

[Deleted Account]

Hello man. I was in your case two years ago. I'm the shyest, least comfortable talking to people you could ever imagine.

I'm sorry to tell you this. But if you really want to change and become the person you want to become, it's going to take time, work, failures, perseverance, hard times. There's no magic pill.

As far as I am concerned, when i was 20 I have decided to approach the girls I like on the street, in the shops, in the evening, sober. There are other ways to succeed, but this is the one that changed my life.

If you want to change, you have to make that decision. You're going to have to take action and get into social situations on a regular basis. You're going to have to voluntarily put yourself in situations where you know you're going to fail. You're going to have to take action despite your fear, despite your limiting beliefs.

NoFap can help. But the most important thing is to take action, fail, and try again. It's like learning music or wanting to get good at a sport. You start practicing no matter what your level is. You put your ego aside and dive headfirst out of your comfort zone. No matter what happens, you'll be proud of yourself, you'll make huge progress. But you have to make that decision.

(After the quarantine )