How do I start all over again?

Stephen1195 · Sep 28, 2014

Hello there fapstronauts, I'm 19 yrs old and closeted gay.
I can still remember that time when I discovered masturbation and porn. Like most of us, I got addicted to it. It started when I was in highschool. It became a habit and I would do it in 1-3 days interval/streak. Sometimes I would feel guilty and not do it for a week or more but then the sensation keeps coming back. Truth be told that it indeed interrupted my studies. This might also be because of my belief that I will never have a proper partner - so I'll just make it up with porn and masturbation.

This year I grew tired of it. I want to change. And everytime I do it, I still feel guilty in the end. This is also when I doscovered NoFap. I started last July but was lazy to create an account yet so I just kept the record in my mind. One thing I noticed is that I had wet dreams already and it was weird. It didn't have to make me horny it just went off. I was able to hold on for until the half of September but then I failed again. One day I woke up just after a wet dream but then I gave in because of the chaser effect.

Nowadays, semen makes me feel dirty that I would wash so often just to have a peace of mind that I'm clean.

Does a simple soap and water guarantees that you're clean already? I soap like 2-3 times. Maybe I have OCD? I don't even like to taste it. I'm so afraid of HIV although I will never have it alone.

How about pre cums before and after. The thought that it's in my underwear feels like I'm dirty again. Do you mind it?

Are gays allowed to have sex too? And won't sex affect the result of the nofap challenge? I asked because I think sex triggers the horny effect. I don't know guys.

And, how do I cope up with the guilt feeling every after masturbating? I feel weird motivating myself everytime. Almost have no friends because I'm gay.

If a lifetime nofap is possible, why not? I want to change guys and this is the best place to be with an encouraging community

Thanks!

IGY · Sep 28, 2014

You are right, this is the best place to be if you truly want to change.

Yes, semen cleans easily with a simple soap and water. You cannot avoid a bit of precum discharge, especially when you are 'young and full of cum', lol. You have already found that an orgasm (even when you are unconscious) leads your body to crave more. That is why it is important to stand firm when you have a setback so you don't binge several times.

My opinion is that the straightforward and quickest route to complete the 90 day NoFap challenge, is to go hard mode - no edging, no masturbating, no sex and no porn. That only leaves wet dreams as an occasional release of a build up of semen. If you click on my counter, you can create your own to reflect whatever approach you are going to have. You can set a big goal, or start small and increase via increments.

As for the guilt feeling, it depends on what exactly you are feeling guilty about. Good luck: IGY

Stephen1195 · Sep 29, 2014

Yup definitely going the hard mode
And wow thanks, I'll create my own too. Such an inspiration for a newbie fapstronaut like me.

Edit: why is my counter not showing up? -__-

IGY · Sep 29, 2014

When you are typing in the reply box there is a tiny box to the bottom-left - 'show your signature'. If you put a tick in there it will show up and should stay ticked for future posts. Welcome to the hard mode crew, Stephen, lol: IGY

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How do I start all over again?

Stephen1195 Fapstronaut

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Stephen1195 Fapstronaut

IGY Guest

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