How do I talk to this girl?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Erick Pastora, Jan 2, 2018.

  1. Erick Pastora

    Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

    I'm 19 and there's this beautiful girl that works at my gym and for the last year I've been trying to convince myself to go talk to her. I have to talk to her when I pay every month but it's always difficult since I've seen her busy. She has been really nice to me and I've found her staring at me a few times and whenever I talk to her when I pay my membership I smile at her and she slightly smiles back but it's not a big smile nor she looks shy which I have thought maybe she is. I mentioned I'm 19 because she looks probably a few years older and I've seen her in college a few times but still has been very difficult to me to talk to her. Now that I'm on NoFap I've gotten more confidence but I need a way to push myself to talk to her. It's so stupid how anxious I can be because when I'm drunk I'm a really interesting guy and can talk to anyone, but I can't depend on alcohol to talk to people.
    Any tricks to help with anxiety so I can talk to her? Should I tell her I've seen her in school? Because I think it can go out a little bit creepy. What could be a good excuse for me to need to talk to her and make it seem more casual? Please help guys this girl could really be something special and if it doesn't work out at the end at least I will have learnt how to talk to pretty girls.
    velkcom, Noelle, LilD and 1 other person like this.
  2. Wicked Game

    Wicked Game Fapstronaut

    My first tip is to not overthink about it at all, don't overthink about how pretty she is and how anxious you are, because it will only make you more nervous. Just let it flow naturally. Do it when you haven't planned to do it, just like if you were jumping from a high cliff to the water, once you are in mid air there's no going back, once you've asked her about something the conversation has started.

    I don't think it's very creepy that you say that you have seen her in school, actually it's a good way to start a conversation that can lead to asking about what does she study and other things. A less creepy way to start the conversation could be something like: "Hey, do you go to xxxxx college? I think I've seen you there."

    Just a few lines the first time, don't push yourself too much. Then the next days you can ask her about how is her day going and simple things just to build confidence talking to her. Eventually the conversations will grow longer and deeper once you get to know each other.
    Erick Pastora likes this.
  3. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

    Quit over-analyzing and just ask her out on a date.
  4. This. Just do it. Rip off that band-aid, man. It's been a year. Shit or get off the pot.
  5. HipPete

    HipPete Fapstronaut

    You'll be fine. Keep at NoFap and sooner or later you'll be forced to get some closure. It'll bother you so much that you just want to get it over with. It'll will be like a shackle chained to an iron ball has lifted. Wish you the best.
    Hitto likes this.
  6. talontron

    talontron Fapstronaut

  7. Mike_July_2017

    Mike_July_2017 Fapstronaut

    Dude, 10 men hit on her every day. You have little chance of having sex with her. Also, it could spoil your gym experience. Also, if she liked you she would have hinted that.

    So, if you really want to hit on her (without many chances seems kind of pointless) try to do it in an indirect manner. Like ask some innocent question and see if she is willing to prolong the conversation.
  8. Noelle

    Noelle Fapstronaut

    Women hate neediness, dude. When you're ready to get this girl you won't need our advice. But I can tell you that's a LOOONG way off...;)
    elevate likes this.
  9. Master Chips

    Master Chips Fapstronaut

    I feel you buddy, but remember that being uncomfortable is always a nice thing to do
  10. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

    If you keep wasting time, a Chad will snatch her up right away.
  11. Abird

    Abird Fapstronaut

    Well to start the convo you can ask her how an exercise works or a machine
  12. ifthisislove

    ifthisislove Fapstronaut

    Pull the trigger. Next time you see her just strike up a conversation about something trivial by asking how her day is going and see her level of enthusiasm from that. If she's open to it, great. If not, her interest level in you isn't that high. Although if you've known each other for a year, does she know you like her? Have you said so explicitly? Good luck.
    velkcom likes this.
  13. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    You don't even know her.

    You're the type of guy that places every woman you're attracted to above himself. So here you are asking for "mindset tricks" to try and close the gap between you and this SPECIAL stranger that you're idolizing. You need some magical skills and crazy motivation to use every time there's an attractive woman.

    Your goal shouldn't be to gain immature and insecure TRICKS that little boys use... your goal should be to become a mature and secure adult that follows his desires without attaching your self worth to a specific outcome you're obsessing about.

    Start asking the right questions.

    Throwing away your self worth for a person you barely even know............................ *shakes head in dissapointment*
    Oxford Clay likes this.
  14. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

    I've been there. You just gotta say fuck it. "Hey what's your name? You seem cool. We should go out sometime." You only live once and got nothing to lose.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  15. Dracoterra

    Dracoterra Fapstronaut

    There's an exercise that I did a couple of years ago that might help you out. Once a day, pick out a random girl, and give her a compliment. Not for the purpose of it leading to anything, but there's something intimidating about telling a girl that she's attractive or attempting to flirt with her. And honestly (if you're not creepy while you're doing it), it can make someone's day to hear something like that.

    After a few days of this, see if the idea of talking to her is a little less daunting.
  16. Erick Pastora

    Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

    Hello guys, it has been very difficult for me but today I saw that she has alone and doing nothing so I just didn't think about it. Now I've talked to her finally, I know her name, I know what is her major and I can now engane in a conversation. I don't really care if she turns me down at some point because just talking to her for me is personal growth. I intend to continue talking to her and to some other attractive girls that I see. I received some great advices and I think without NoFap this would never had happen. Thanks fapstronauts!
    MasterGamer, TC10 and Mankrik like this.
  17. Im happy for you, people like you gives me hope.
    Vulkan likes this.
  18. Sananafraz

    Sananafraz Fapstronaut

    If you engage with intent to make her yours you will fail.

    If you engage with intent to make a new friend you MIGHT fail.

    If you fail to make a new friend she wouldn’t be a good friend. If she wouldn’t be a good friend would she be a good partner?
  19. Abird

    Abird Fapstronaut

    This is not true. There are many guys who intent to make her yours and succeed. Maybe for us it is true as we lack experience.
    Mankrik likes this.
  20. Should probably wait until he knows if she’s interested before getting engaged.

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