How do you control urges during night time?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by RaptorsandChelsea, May 14, 2020.

  1. RaptorsandChelsea

    RaptorsandChelsea Fapstronaut

    I'm pretty decent at controlling urges during the day. If it's sunny outside, I'll go out for a walk or I'll go to a room where there's family members and talk to them.

    However, I struggle during the night when I'm in my room all alone. I try to watch self-help NoFap-related youtube if I have urges. However, there's always going to be a thumbnail of a girl wearing a provocative outfit in my recommended videos which leads me to watch more graphic stuff and then relapse.

    What can I do to control urges at night?
    Ogikubo likes this.
  2. deeroo

    deeroo Fapstronaut

    during the night when you do not sleep? Simple: go to sleep:). Do not waste anymore your time on screens, instead sleeping. Can't sleep? This can be a problem... But in one week of tries you can change your routine and adopt a healthy and normal cycle of effort&rest. Run, exercise, read(there are people that aren't trained to maintain a cognitive effort like lecture, problem-solving, ...) Find a routine, a sense of this pair of day and night. Urges... be strong and you'll be a winner. Forgot about this web based day counter. Count the days on paper and note your thoughts and ideas, your goal, your weaknesses. I understand, maybe you're a hard porn addicted person, but now it's time for a change. Life isn't about the slavery caused by your body's necessities and your thoughts.
    Life every day like the last one; you don't know if you'll live the next one. And fight with yourself, that means to be a man. "you had been searching the biggest problem and you found yourself" live is about evolution. Don't have expectations to be the greatest, think that you want to be the greatest. WORK!
    And what do not you understand about NoFap...? The videos about that topic on YouTube are so... repetitive and without content, signification and without the medical knowledge. THE NOFAP CAN BE PRESENTED IN ONE WORD(in the same mode like Bible, Bible is about love) AND THIS WORD IS CARE, the care about your health, your relations with your body and others. Do not pay this price of self damage for a few seconds of pleasure...
    Hope you found this post useful and remember, take care... Be strong!
  3. RaptorsandChelsea

    RaptorsandChelsea Fapstronaut


    That's the problem. I wasn't able to sleep at all last night and I relapsed. For 15 years, I've fapped almost everyday before going to bed as I felt like it helped me sleep better. I have to find a better way to help me sleep at night.
    I hate it_I love it likes this.
  4. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

    My husband stopped all electronics after 9. He started reading again And he started a journal also.
    Take the temptation away.
  5. Nak

    Nak Fapstronaut

    Hi bro hope you going well.

    Bro that is big have same as I but now i am going very strong with my streak.
    During night try this one bro it may help

    Severaly measure you should do especialy at night

    Some time you may get templeted at night and once you tried to get sleep you unable to fall in sleep.

    You may do one of the following.

    1) *Think About What's Going To Happen After You Cheat you body and brain*

    2) *Ask Yourself What You You'll Gain By doing so.*

    3) *close the pc and phone*

    4) *divert the sex thought immediately with reproductive one*

    5) *go and get cold shower*

    6). *If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight* this you can prepare some snack food such as Frying egg.

    7) *Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for your job or activity.*

    The tip *number 6* is seems it work for most people so i advise you to do tip number 6.for me tip no 6 work well

    I also advise you to sleep early..finish all activity including charting,social media in seat room.

    Bear in your mind that the bed room is only for sleep.
    S1t1y1 and RaptorsandChelsea like this.
  6. RaptorsandChelsea

    RaptorsandChelsea Fapstronaut

    Thanks for your useful tips.

    For points 1, 2 and 4 I had the same thoughts, but unfortunately the urges were much stronger than logic.

    Point 3 is a good tip that I will try to put in practice.

    I started to take cold showers recently, I will see on the long-run how it impacts me.

    I will try to have a late snack if I feel horny.
    Nak likes this.
  7. Hope you don't mind me sharing I wrote this recently for someone also dealing with urges, I hope my experience might be helpful to you
    Nak and RaptorsandChelsea like this.
  8. RaptorsandChelsea

    RaptorsandChelsea Fapstronaut

    Both types of urges affect me, sadly!
  9. Stag99

    Stag99 Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Reading helps a lot at night.
    It keeps the mind busy and away from sexual thoughts.
    RaptorsandChelsea likes this.
  10. Yes true both urges mix together and create a 'super urge' but one is usually stronger then the other.

    If you want a more practical tip to dealing with night urges - I always left my phone away from my bed for this first 2 weeks when I slept. And I use to listen to audio books during the night including (1) Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson (2) Breaking the Cycle by George Collins and (3) Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport

    This helped me loads as I could take my mind of porn (esp at night time) plus I was learning more about my addictions
    RaptorsandChelsea likes this.
  11. IbrahimViking

    IbrahimViking Fapstronaut

    Have you tried just having an urge? "Here I am, watching myself having an urge yet not watching porn."?
    I mean, as opposed to fighting it, just noticing that you have it and you are this strong presence that is just watching the puny urge try its best in vain?
  12. JAbbot1985

    JAbbot1985 New Fapstronaut

    It's hard to control it at night. Very hard.
    RaptorsandChelsea likes this.
  13. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Notice what the two kinds of videos have in common, they rely on an outside source to motivate your mind.

    I replied to another thread like this recently and got no reply, since I only spend 20 min twice a day on here I really don't want to invest time if people don't read it or won't try it. No offense it's just a reality of online communication that people may not really pay attention especially given what media addiction in general has done to peoples attention span, you may be different but I don't know, so just getting the whole picture much less motivation. But basically it's because it's too late by that time of day, you can do other stuff during the day to structure your time and biological state to prevent that - and facilitate normal healthy sleep.

    Off hand though I would say self-help stuff is not enough, and videos are not enough. Straight up INSPIRATIONAL stuff is probably needed, but that probably means you have to read, and because people are inspired by different things you may not know of a lot of things like that but if you know one thing maybe even rereading it. The reason and difference is inspirational material, whatever that is for you makes you think about yourself and find the motivation in yourself instead of just being carried by something like a clever video.
    RaptorsandChelsea likes this.
  14. LethalSlim

    LethalSlim Fapstronaut

    I've been making a lot of changes and there's 1 that might be of some use to you. I've noticed a few/a lot of my relapses of the past few months have been at night so I started thinking of some things I could try to do about that. I decided I would start going to bed earlier, I usually get in bed around 10pm and either read for a few or watch tv for a few and then go to sleep. (TV not the best thing, but for me I tend to fall asleep with the tv on so it's a routine.) But the biggest factor, I also moved my phone and Ipad to being on the other side of the room where I can't reach them anymore. I think a lot of times I would just get bored or get a small urge and next thing you know I'm on my phone starting too look at stuff that I shouldn't. I really think having my phone away from me has already helped me to not relapse at night.

    Also, sometimes I'm anxious when I'm trying to go to sleep and taking Melatonin helps me a ton to relax and go to sleep.
    RaptorsandChelsea likes this.
  15. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    If I was starting with a new nick something like Sandman wouldn't be bad..

    Okay for OP - let me say one thing. If you can cut down on the intensity of your urges, or the possibility of acting out by 50% by doing certain things to prepare you BEFORE that time of night, would you do it? that's what we're talking about.

    The body naturally makes melatonin, but it's just a slow process. There's good evidence that light exposure at night is not good for it, interestingly if you look at the timing of melatonin and vitamin D, one is in the absence of light and the other is in the presence of light. Natural cycles.

    Nothing is perfect, but you can stack the cards in your favor by doing things like this to support the normal process.
    RaptorsandChelsea likes this.
  16. Amigo Zuri

    Amigo Zuri Fapstronaut

    Mi hermano, si tienes problemas para dormir quizás requiere ansiolíticos, tomar terapia. No veas Youtube en la noche, no entres si ya sabes que eso te orilla a caer, entra en éste portal y comunícate con nosotros en ese momento, platica como te sientes, da consejos a otros, desahógate aqui pero, no uses la computadora o el movil para otra cosa si no es para entrar a Nofap.

    RaptorsandChelsea likes this.
  17. Lots of good tips here. You have to find the right one for yourself, but ultimately it is up to you and your resolve. One thing I can add to these tips: Will power goes to sleep before you do.
    RaptorsandChelsea likes this.

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