How do you cope?

My best friend and boyfriend of 2.5 years recently told me about his porn addiction, and I feel like I'm drowning. This...is my first time posting on a forum for anything, this is my first time turning to the online world instead of close friends in person (almost all of my best friends at college with me are his mutual friends), and I will just be honest that I'm really scared to reach out for fear of no one responding.

I don't know if the details are important with something like this, but I will say that what hurts the most is the lying. One of the reasons why he and I started dating in the first place was because he made a huge deal about never lying to me--I'd been in abusive relationships in the past and lying was something I was incredibly insecure about--and because he told me that he *never* watched porn while he was in a relationship. I bought into this wholeheartedly and we've dated for 2.5 amazing years, but now, after learning about this...lie that he repeatedly fed to me over and over again, my trust has been damaged so terribly that I'm scared that it will never be mended. I feel like an idiot for believing his lies, and I'm just as scared to trust him now when he says that it's the only lie he has ever told me. I'm not even sure how much I would have minded him watching occasional porn if I'd known up front about it, but now...it feels like the lies are overwhelming me.

Another thing that I'm really struggling is physical contact. My boyfriend had spent the last 2.5 years telling me that he wasn't ready to have sex with me, something that I understood completely and tried to wait patiently for even though I really wanted it. The day before he told me about his porn addiction, we had finally sat down and decided together that we were both ready for sex. Now I'm mourning the moment that I'd been looking forward to for the last 2.5 years because...I don't know if I'll ever be able to have sex with him now that I know about...every one of the girls he's been fantasizing over. I can't even bare to have him touch my skin anywhere. Does this ever get better?

I don't want to leave him. I love him with all my heart. I was planning on moving in with him and applying to graduate schools with him and marrying him someday. It may be naivety, but I thought he was my soulmate. But I don't know how I can ever recover from this fully.

I know that this has been long and that I ramble sometimes and that my situation, and for that I'm sorry. But I could really use some advice because I'm feeling incredibly isolated right now.