How do you deal with High Functioning Depression?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by zxcv, Jan 1, 2019.

  1. zxcv

    zxcv Fapstronaut

    This are the symtoms I'm dealing with...
    • Inability to experience true joy
    • Chronic low energy
    • Constant feelings of self-doubt
    • Negative self-evaluations and frequent self-criticism
    • Changes in sleeping patterns (sleeping too much)
    • Feeling of pessimism and hopelessness
    • Trouble with focus and concentration
    • Declines in productivity, in every area of life
    • Indecisiveness
    Buddhabro likes this.

  2. Hey bro I can relate to every single item on the list at some point of my week - I used to be on andi-depressants for 5 years or so, and I could always find a description of my problems in different websites, I explored the realm of mental health medicine and I was hoping some doctor would come up with some magic solution to put an end to my misery.

    While some of that medicine did help me they created a new problem - mental dullness and fogginess.

    I suffered so much until I came near suicide - even though I tried at least 2 times the love for my mom didn't let me to do it fully.

    Then I realized The only way out is through.

    I first started by becoming really focused on fitness and going to the gym, that was my first help to raise my energy.

    Then I started to listen to many spiritual teachers such as Eckhart Tolle (the power of now), Allan Watts, and other people and this gave me a higher awareness of what i am and the higher purpose of my existence. This helped me to stop identifying with my thoughts and realize that the dysfunction I have with my depression is not really mine but it belongs to 'the mind' or carnal mind which is the collective unconscious - and we all carry it to a degree - although it is different in range for all of us.

    I'm still on the journey of course, each day of the week is different. Today I had a super depressive and lowe energy day, another day is loneliness, another day is hopelessness, another day is exciting, I'm learning to not identify with the emotion and just practice letting go and acceptance.

    There is a great book by Dr. David R Hawkins which is called letting Go - the pathway of surrender - you may want to consider it, as it helps you how to release these charged emotions which you have suppressed (like all of us) from our childhood and from our family lineages.

    So to tell you the truth there is no quick fix answer to this, if i had to put it in simple terms it would be...

    1. Exercise daily - even if you don't feel like it, research shows 30 minutes of exercise literally changes your brain chemistry and increases your sense of well being. You have to force yourself to do it, if you can not, get some help from someone here, to push you.

    2. Do the Win-HOf breathing and cold showers, this really will help you with your dopamine levels

    3. Emotionally evolve - get the book letting go by dr. hawkins or get the book the presence process by Micheal brown

    4. Evolve consciously - if you want massivly evolve go do a 10 day silence meditation at a goenka retreat - which is free. They now have over 2 million graduates and i persnally used it for over 10 yrs. highly recommend it.

    I know it can be overwhelming to do all these,

    I also know when you feel depressed and your mind is bitching you feel negative about eveyr thing and you dont really want to do any of those - but you have to realize the depressive state wants to sustain it self, and you have to use your WILL power right at the start of your day.

    Do not stay up late. Try to go to sleep at a decent time and wake up and head out to the gym.

    Keep trying. Rememeber you are not alone in this and this is the game you came to win as a human and we are all in a very similar type of situation - its called human suffering.

    May you be happy
    Bombadil, Rever Su, nef and 1 other person like this.
  3. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

    I'll preface all of this by saying that I'm not a doctor, I'm not a professional, I have no serious background in psychology. These are my opinions and they are things that have helped me with feelings of depression. I cannot guarantee that they will help you, but I encourage you to give them a try and to draw your own conclusions.

    Get in touch with your emotions. As I understand it, emotions can have three different components to them.
    1. The physical component of the emotion. Every emotion has physical counterparts. Anger has tense muscles, gritting of the teeth, and a sharpening or raising of the voice. Fear has sweating, tightness of the chest, and maybe shakiness. Romantic love has relaxation of the muscles, increased bloodflow, and possibly an erection.
    2. Your thoughtful reaction to the emotion. For me, this is usually an explanation or verbal justification for the emotion that goes on in my head. "I'm sad because my dog just died", or "I'm excited because I start a new job tomorrow".
    3. The experience of the emotion itself. This is the hardest part to actually define, but it's what you're actually referring to when you use words like "sad", "happy", or "elated". It's not a physical phenomena, nor is it a thought. It's an experience, and we don't have words for it other than the words we use to label the emotion itself.
    My advice for your inability to experience true joy is to get in touch with all three of these aspects. Take a divide and conquer approach. It's not something that you'll get right away, but it's something you can practice. Just try to be aware of all three of these things and really try to focus on them in a neutral setting. For example, to practice #1, try to pinpoint the exact experience of your body making contact with the chair you're sitting in. For #2, try to focus on a neutral thought (like "I wonder if it's going to rain tomorrow"). See how long it takes for you to process the thought before your brain moves on to something else. See what happens if you try to interrupt the thought midstream to test it's boundaries. #3 is a little difficult to practice in a neutral setting, but when you're ready, you can start to apply your practice of the first two to a more emotionally charged situation. Instead of focusing on something neutral like your body making contact with a chair, focus on how your shoulder muscles feel the next time you're stressed out. Instead of focusing on a neutral thought like "I wonder if it's going to rain tomorrow", focus on a charged one like "It really sucks that I got turned down for a second date". While you have an experience like that, try to focus on the emotion itself? Where does it end and the physical reaction begin? Where does it end and your thought begin? When I do that, I often find that what I originally thought was this huge emotional experience actually doesn't exist at all. There's nothing but my awareness, my body, and my thoughts. That makes emotions easier to deal with and easier to identify. I believe we experience all sorts of emotions all the time, but sometimes we aren't tuned into how we're really feeling because we're ignoring our bodies and / or the details of our thoughts. Perhaps you have the ability to experience true joy, but you just don't realize that you are sometimes. Or, perhaps the reason you have the inability to experience true joy is that you have a hard time dealing with some of the more challenging emotions (fear, stress, sadness, loneliness, hopelessness, grief). Whatever the cause, getting in touch with my emotions helps me better understand what I'm experiencing and makes it easier to push through and move on when I'm going through shitty times.

    I'd advise getting consistent sleep (if sleep is a problem for you, and it is for me, see my below point about sleep), exercising regularly (even just three out of 7 days per week helps me), and eating a more varied diet.

    Do stuff that inspires you. I play musical instruments, work on art, write, program, and other creative stuff. I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a master at any of these things, but every time I practice them I get a little better, and that boosts my confidence and reduces self-doubt.

    Going back to what I said earlier about getting in touch with your emotions, sometimes it can help to get in touch with your thoughts as well. When you have a self-critical thought, focus on it. Where does it begin and where does it end? What is the thought actually saying? If you were to write down the thought into words on a piece of paper, what would you write? You don't need to engage with the thought, you don't need to explain it or argue with it. Just be aware of it, notice it, and try to figure out what it's really like. When I do this, I usually find that the thoughts are gone by the time I'm done looking at them. They come in, cause me some disturbance, and then they go away. They're like wild animals, or like cars passing by on the freeway. They're such a small part of my experience. They exist, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to get rid of my self-critical thoughts, but I can realize that they're just a small fraction of what makes up my full experience, and when I look at my whole experience, I find that they're really not that big of a deal. Hopefully you can find that, too.

    My biggest issues with sleep are sleep hygiene and sleep procrastination. Sleep hygiene is all about having a routine and having a comfortable space to sleep in. On my best days, my bed is made, my room is clean, I've brushed my teeth, and I've had a glass of water before I go to bed. That all makes it easier for me to fall asleep. Sleep procrastination is when you stay up to focus on something you could focus on the next day, like playing video games, watching TV / movies, using social media, or even some reading. To combat this, I set a particular lights-out time, and I make sure I don't use any screens fifteen minutes before that set time. If I still can't fall asleep when I try that, I allow myself to read a book for fifteen minutes in another room and then try to sleep again. Maybe some of that will help you!

    Also, regular exercise helps me sleep better...

    Hope some of that helps!
    Buddhabro and RightEffort like this.
  4. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

    I don't deal with the "depression", it deals with me and I try ti live through it :)
  5. Limitbreaker

    Limitbreaker Fapstronaut

    I keep it short and simple. You are probably exhausted and thats totally fine, i was too. The first step to get out of depression is to go into aggression. This step is not about ethically correctness, what matters is that get out of this. Accept all of the things you listed, you do not have to like them, just accept them as they are. Focus all your remaining energy now on what you can do. Dont be to hard on yourself, its ok to feel and be depressed, to have those negative feelings, it does not make you a bad person. Everyone needs help at some time in their live. Its worth fighting, please keep us informed about how your day is going
    Buddhabro likes this.
  6. zxcv

    zxcv Fapstronaut

    So then I should try to take care of the depression before going for a girlfriend then, right? Will that also make it easier find a girlfriend once I'm able to manage the depression?
  7. Limitbreaker

    Limitbreaker Fapstronaut

    Absolutely, You are the most important person for yourself on this planet. If you deal with depression first it will be a lot easier and enjoyable for you and her
  8. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

    Been in your shoes for a long time man.

    -Quit PM

    -Do sports

    Once you do this, you'll see big improvements!
  9. nef

    nef Fapstronaut

    Damn you all gone through some really hard time and I'm crying over my premature ejaculation
    tunwang520 likes this.
  10. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

    Talking by personal experience PE will fix itself, just keep your no PM streak and give yourself time!

    Suffering of PE also helped me developing a better foreplay (you can read articles or books on how it is important) and definitely becoming a better lover!
    nef likes this.
  11. Limitbreaker

    Limitbreaker Fapstronaut

    nef likes this.
  12. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

    Don't be so focused on getting a girlfriend. Getting a girlfriend won't solve your problems. Take care of your depression because that's what you deserve.
  13. MikiBolts

    MikiBolts New Fapstronaut

    This is me to a "T", I'm just so tired
  14. I feel you man, I've had High Functioning Depression for more than 13 years myself. I am ,by no means, a doctor or an expert in dealing with it but I can give you some simple tips that might help. People might have said these already but here they are:

    1.If you havent visited a counselor/therapist yet, go find one. They will help you get to the root of your depression which most likely goes wayy back. They will also give you advice and "excercises" you can do to get in touch with your emotions

    2. I highly recommend reading the book "Healing the shame that binds you by John Bradshaw. It will help you understand more about the causes of your problems(addictions included). Understanding the problem is the first step to solving it so give it a go

    3. Try to exercise when possible and try to do a lot of cardio.It might seem hard as you'll already feel tired but its really important. I feel like running relaxes my body and gives me more energy afterwards. This could be just me but its worth a try

    4. I know you might not feel like it some days but dont neglect your health. Have frequent showers, brush your teeth, try to eat healthy and dont skip meals even if you have to force yourself to eat a bit. A healthy body is a healthy mind

    5. Above all remember that you are not alone in this. You might not have someone to talk to in your life but you'll always have us. We're all your brothers here and we're here to help. Dont give up, keep working on yourself and even though it might seem like an eternal night for you, keep your eyes open because the dawn is coming

    I hope these help :) Feel free to message me if you need anything
    Buddhabro likes this.

Share This Page