I made the decision to try to eliminate PMO from my life back around February, but it is so hard. While I have cut porn down in my life significantly, I struggle to get past a week and a half at a time, give or take a few days. So, I guess my question is, how do you do it? What are your strategies, how do you combat this evil in your life? Because I keep trying and failing over and over again and I am getting discouraged.
I used to fall on my 21st day without PMO, every single time. Another member who now works for nofap actually, told me to take one day at a time and to stop thinking in terms of days. Have a mind to take it each day at a time and fill your time wisely. When I felt the urges drawing me in or when the day came where it seemed unbearable, I found ways to cope. Inviting a friend over, staying out of my room (where I commonly relapsed) and I tried not to have "idle hands" for the few days that seemed most challenging for me. I also stayed off the internet. Period. No questions asked. No social media, no movies that could trigger me. I would go on a walk, to the coffee shop or to the gym, I would get chores done. On a spiritual note I would pray for strength BEFORE the urges became strong. And I kept my mind on good things. Bible reading really helped
Thanks a lot for that, these will help. I definitely need to put the effort into following through and just filling my time. I have a bit too much time on my hands right now which probably isn't helping anything. Also I definitely need to get into the habit of reading my bible more often. I'm getting the feeling that the closer I get to God the more strength I will have to persevere.
Although I haven't exactly succeeded, I believe Paul had a plan for us. Ephesians 1: 17I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. 18I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, 19and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength 20he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. Here, Paul prays that we may have the Holy Spirit help us fully grasp the power which we have available to us as Christians. Paul tells us that the same power God applied when he exalted the risen Christ far above all things, including Satan and all angels, God applied to us when we were redeemed. We are already out from under the authority of Satan, this world, and things like pornography. We just have to know it, grasp it. How do we do this? First of all, we know that we have incredible people like Paul praying for us. Second, we pray for each other that we may have the Holy Spirit to help us. Thirdly, we spend as much time as we possibly can reading the scriptures and contemplating the greatness of God's love for us. Not just a few minutes a day, but hours. It is working for me - I have gotten so much better. With time, Christ will dwell in our hearts continually and we will be more and more conformed to His image. Sorry to get all serious on you - but I truly believe this is how we do it. We need God's gracious power, we can't do it on our own.
Do everything @Brynna said. Know that change is possible, and that it may take time. "He who began a good work in you," and all that. Also, one thing I learned from using porn again over the winter was that depression makes resisting or keeping on a positive change that much harder. So one, rather significant thing I would advise for anyone wanting to quit: If you are serious about stopping porn, deal with your shit. Create the conditions in which you can succeed. Depressed? Anxious? Grieving? Housing trouble? No job? Bad relationship? Something else? Unless you deal with your shit, quitting porn is going to be damn near impossible. Go talk to a counsellor, get help from a friend or family member or...something. Eliminate or minimise the obstacles preventing you from fully engaging in the desire to be healthier sexually. For me, this means tackling depression/anxiety and learning how to manage it.
This is how I did it: 1) Use your computer for something else like reading or gaming, 2) Exercise heavily, any sport, will help you combat insomnia, 3) Notice how people treat you after you've gone without for awhile; you will show more confidence and people will notice and be more friendly, 3) Pray when everything is going well not just when you're in a crisis, 4) Pick up a new hobby like playing a musical instrument, 5) Avoid excessive alcohol 6) Read this forum and/or go to church to find out that you're not alone and that you're probably in better [moral] shape than many, 6) Learn how to get enjoyment from simple things like the smell of waffles in the morning etc. 7) Go to bed early and get up early. Good luck to you! We are watching your counter; don't drop the ball.
