how do you fight

Hi
I would also find excuse like just having a look at the pic would be find or I won't watch porn ,they are just sexy movies..
But you know if we have such ideas, we are actually negotiating with the demon in our mind, the demon is hungry, it wants to be fed by our watching porn and cumming..it's terrible because we can never beat it if we start such negotiating..

When I want to watch porn I would imagine that the demon is selling me the porn and the price is my energy my time and my happiness

Best

 

Actually that is not weak. It is the optimal move. Think about it. If she is the one who made the move more than likely her interest level is high. You want that. Just hopefully you have an interest in her too. I am in your boat. Well I was in your boat. Up until two or three weeks ago. Had to keep her in the friend zone even though I really don't want to because there were too many circumstances that just kept me from taking things further.

Just make sure when things are moving along you take charge and lead. Something I didn't do and I lost her but I guess it is for the best because I felt that the best move was not to make a move at all.

 

LOL. I always thought that way too where it is the bro who does the pursuing. Then one day I was sort of bored and asked myself what if she was the one who makes the move? From there it has become one big science project! Yes it is all for science. Ha ha. Plus you learn to make subtle moves you didn't know you made and I am telling you women are always watching!

 

Even if you look at some pics, it leads to other things and your mind starting to wonder and think certain thoughts which translate into thoughts and scenarios when you look at girls. What I found is to be cold turkey, completely off of it and after a while your brain starts to think differently. It no longer goes into those fake sexual scenarios and lets you live in the moment. Girls pick up on that sort of thing so getting rid of those sexual fantasies as soon as you see them helps get the confidence to talk to them. That's at least what has been working for me. I recently looked at a picture trying to "get away with it" and my mind all day was thinking about it and I have to make a conscious decision to stop that way of thinking. Use that energy on something else, ie: Gym. Outdoor activity. Something that takes you away from the computer. Hope it helps bro.

Don't cheat. Stay strong.

 

Fortune favours the bold. Before you do stuff in your life, ask yourself: Wouldn I regret not asking that girl? Would I regret not talking to that girl? Would I regret not asking her out?

Try to never regret, and you are a winner

 

For me it was about growing up. I find it childish to watch it although still struggling a bit but it is not as bad as before.

I noticed also making excuses to myself like taking a peek is fine but really it's a part of the problem. People can be tough with themselves about a diet or working out. Often porn is different type of deal of deal for many.

I guess first thing is to admit it is a problem for you and then just find different methods how to beat it.

 

A great technique is "finding leverage". I've included a link (yes, it's from Tony Robbins...). Basically it comes down to finding a way to convince yourself that doing (or not doing) something is a worthwhile decision. It can be either negative or positive association, whatever works for you. You could think some way that FAP has caused strife in your life, and develop a strong mental picture of this pain. Then every time you get the urge to fap, call up this picture. Or you could do the same thing with an image of how stopping will cause a positive effect. The idea is that eventually, you will start automatically associate the mental image with the activity, and the activity will seem less appealing, because you are made more aware of how it will affect your life.

For me, it is more of a logic thing. At one point, I simply didn't realize that it was a bad thing to fap excessively, because I simply enjoyed it. But now that I know the magnitude of the effects, I am not able to rationally justify PMOing, so I don't do it. I'm pragmatic, and this works for me.

 

I have all kinds of tools - and they've helped me put together a life out of a self-destructive nightmare. Here's some of them.

First is simple and similar to above. Have a bigger yes. I suck at saying no - especially to anything I like. But it's easy for me to not eat unhealthy food today because I want to have a life that requires me to lose weight. I hold that image up in my mind and say yes to it. My yes for that is bigger than any yes to french fries or a doughnut today.

Live in day-tight compartments. Modern ships have bulkheads and water-tight doors that keep one section dry and safe - even if the one next to it is full of water. Likewise, all I ever have to do is make it from now until bedtime. Then I am out through the door and into tomorrow - and in day-tight compartments, no matter how much yesterday flooded, today can be dry and safe as can be.

Finally, learn about yourself and what triggers you. If you reset, look at what you were feeling and doing before things went wrong. For myself, there are things that make me forget my bigger yes. So I learn them in myself (and have had many hundreds of relapses to learn them) and then mentally avoid those things like H.A.L.T. I keep a list of things that are good for myself that don't put me at risk, and if I find mself drifting into unsafe waters, then consciously head to where I know I am good. My list includes things like exercise, a healthy meal, a hot bath with bathsalts, memorizing poetry, and buying flowers at the store and photographing them. Learning what makes us healthier is also part of the journey.

I hope this helps!