How do you get rid of this addiction?

Loneliness is a big part of the problem and social distancing isn't helping. You've got to find a way to make new friends. You've got to find a way to determine quality in a friendship. I am 37, I had lots of 'friends' when I was 27, but mostly they were people I was pretending to be something I wasn't around. I could always feel it, but I wasn't able to talk about it. Mostly because when I did talk about it, it got obvious that the people I was spending time with weren't actually my friends. Counseling helps. Religion helps. Support groups help. Playing sand volleyball helps. Playing board games helps. Finding a men's group helps. You've got to find ways of meeting new people and expanding your social circle.

I was convinced for years that all I had to do was change my habits while I was alone and everything else would take care of its self but that just isn't true. You do have to change how you spend your time when you are alone, but that is not enough. You have got to develop a network of friends that you don't feel as though you have to hide things from, even if you don't always tell them everything. You've got to develop your self-efficacy, your ability to identify and work towards getting what you want, and associate with others who are doing the same thing.

Lonely? Take responsibility and go make new friends. Addicted to pornography? Take responsibility and find a way to break the habit.

None of what I've said is easy, and we are all works in progress, but it must be done. Your post is a tentative step in a new direction where it can be difficult to find your footing. But if others here have done it so can I. And if I can do it so can you.

 

That recipe is unique, I've found, for each of us. There are some common elements like getting support/accountability, truly blocking as much of access to porn as possible, replacing the porn use with something else healthier (exercise, hobbies, breathing exercises, etc), and time. We typically don't become addicts overnight, and most of us likely won't become sober overnight. It's a journey....and a so worthwhile journey. Addiction is thief! But we can change that brain chemistry that's out of whack by starving the brain of porn. And then dealing with the underlying issues that led us to porn in the first place.

 

Hey man.
We, humans, need bonding, something to connect our selves to. It may be healthy, like having friends, that one friend you call everyday and enjoy being with, it may be sports, that you really enjoy and do every day. It may be something harmful, like drugs that make you high or porn that fucks up your brain. We need something to connect to. You said you're lonely, fix that, you need people whom you enjoy being with. We can't just eliminate porn we need to replace it with something that gives us the same feeling of being connected, something that gives us the same rush.
Anyway, there's something that helped me a lot during my reboot which is blocking porn. It will make porn harder to access giving you a chance to think again and decide which thing you could do now to replace porn.
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...ve-your-willpower-an-aid-easy-streaks.272658/

 

What actually makes you less addicted to it and causes it to have less of a hold over you is not doing it. So the less you do it eventually the less hold it has over you.

But the issue is these days it's pretty much as easy to get as getting as a glass of water. You can get as much instant glasses of water as you want, you can get as much instant new porn as you want.

Then like you say your feeling lonely, stressed, depressed, then you turn to porn to make your self temporarily feel better. You're stuck in this cycle. You want to feel better now, so you use porn, but then this hurts you more and more in the future.

I believe the issue is how easily accessible it is. Any sort of negative emotion could trigger you to want to use porn, even boredom could cause it, feeling horny could cause it, even curiosity could cause it. Then you have this instant access to anything you want and it's literally near impossible to stop going on it.

Where as when you can't access it, yes you might get urges to use it, but you naturally go without it because you can't get it. Where as when you can get it it's close to impossible to stop it altogether.

The issue is this stupid system we have today where it's instantly accessible the way it is. That is honestly what I think the main problem is.

 

Change your lifestyle. Take note of when you watch porn, find out your triggers, locations ect.
Mine was my phone and social media so I got app and site blockers really good 1s where I had to pay. My friend set a password up on it so now I can't unblock those sites. My morning went from fapping to porn to running 5k then jumping in a cold shower.
When I go back to work ill be sure to continue my exercise. You've gotta change your lifestyle around slowly bit by bit. Cold showers change your mentality and are amazing. Change your diet, there is so much you can do, when everything stays the same it's only a matter of time before you relapse.
Everything must change and it's awesome when it does.
Good luck bro. Stay positive

 

All the blockers in the above post are free.

You should update your counter man.

 

funny, I actually like to be alone most of the time, but I certainly understand the value of some sort of friendship, maybe one of my challenges will be to, since now I can be happy alone, see if I can be with someone else.

 

Human beings have social needs, organized meetings can help with that but people have to make it work. There are people in addiction recovery in some remote place where they never had meetings, they have to be on the phone and they put themselves out there by getting on a list and hoping someone would get in touch with them. The forum is sort of an open pen pal situation with sometimes fairly short messages, and people don't necessarily get that personal if it's public posts - and it just isn't the same. I mean if you talk about something as personal as porn addiction then it makes sense to have a private voice conversation, but the way we use online media is like we mostly keep people at arms length. You can set it up so a voice call is still anonymous, it's just about getting real, knowing there's a real person talking and listening to you on the other end.

 

bro....best advice, man! I hope the OP takes it. You are so right man....network of friends is very important.

 

agreed man....everything is setup for men like us to fail. We have to rise above this addiction and be our best selves and show the path of the fallen. Its getting there, that's the challenge.

 

It’s not rocket science. Simply disconnect from the internet or smash up your devices.

if you cannot do this it’s a sign you don’t really want to quit

 

First of all, monitor your mind. Thoughts or the factors triggering the thoughts are making you fap. So whenever you feel, divert your mind deliberately and do some other things. Better to have a shower, start the habit of reading. Read great novels and philosophies. Play video games, delete all the porn videos and pictures from your PC. Do not watch any thing which are triggering to fap. And do not worry about this, you are not alone.