How do you meet people?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by TheLightOne, Dec 2, 2019.

  1. TheLightOne

    TheLightOne Fapstronaut

    Well ive tried dozens of things to meet people but its all failing. Apart from work ofc. Im around 30 and most of my friends have gf/groups and they stay home allnthe time.
    Also I feel like a loser going alone on events, concerts, pubs,p clubs, people are in groups/pairs so I dont do it.
  2. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

    My Journal
  3. Meetup has been great for me. I recommend it to anyone.
    NF SINCE BIRTH, Espi1971 and letter like this.
  4. max marcus

    max marcus Fapstronaut

    You can join volunteer groups. They will like and appreciate you more since both parties get the benefits. From there you can expand and do more things with them, not just the volunteer work.
  5. Souvent08

    Souvent08 Fapstronaut

    Join or go to events related to what you need to or want to work on. For example, I needed to “work” on my faith so I volunteered at my church and eventually found friends. I also wanted to volunteer in the community so I found a program where I volunteer and I’ve met people there. I say first think of what you want to do... for example, be more active, then see if there are people who play a sport you like. Don’t go the other way around and go looking for people. First think about what you like to do.
  6. Well I would ask about movie nights or dinners at their house if they don't really leave often but that's just me. Souvent08 put it perfectly when saying "I say first think of what you want to do" that way you meet people with the same interests. Another alternative is to learn how to embrace isolation and think of it not as a negative thing, but a freeing aspect of your life. I think what I'm trying to say is that...well I have this cousin and he used to talk about the same thing until he became more active in the things he loves ( this is without people to accompany him) and I think my grandfather does this to a certain extent is to keep so busy that solitude is impossible to cross your mind. I've gone to concerts and movies alone and while at first it did seem weird I gradually learned to shake off the feeling of separation from others. I hope this makes sense and I hope I didn't come across as ignorant in certain aspects.
  7. I can feel ya bro. Just do your own stuff bro. Do what you love. And people with the same interests as you will be always there. Most of the time I am alone, but I know it'll be worth it at some time. It is better to spend a quality time for yourself, than trying to push yourself with others. Huhu
  8. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

    I'd rather see a movie or concert that I really want to see by myself than be dragged along by friends to something I'm not interested in.

    I can recommend meetup though. A lot of people are in the same boat as you, want to go out but their friends are boring and they don't want to go by themselves. You just need to make contact with them.
    NF SINCE BIRTH and Espi1971 like this.
  9. TheLightOne

    TheLightOne Fapstronaut

    What volunteer? Give exact examples pls

    Guys how do u go to concert alone? Can u have fun alone not sharing thoughts with anyonw? In breaks you stay like a loser... Even yelling feels weird.
  10. Scenes with alcohol aren't the best for meeting real friends. Sure you can probably meet people there and perhaps have a fun night out if you're in the right state of mind (extrovert). But theese meets seldom amount to lasting friendships.

    I've come to realize that people who are in the happy-go-lucky crowd isn't very good at being friends. By all means be open, take the good and leave the bad behind. But don't hope for too much.

    Also I don't really see the allure to concerts and events, at least not by myself. For me it has helped a lot to realize that I don't need to do things that others percieve as fun. I think for the most part that it's something inside of us that drives us to these scenes. Some call it the fear of being left out.
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  11. Sanchez Mucherrato

    Sanchez Mucherrato Fapstronaut

    Why don`t you just ask your friend(s) that he/they should leave his/there gf at home and come to this big event in the neighborhood. I don`t have a gf aswell but
    I always got friends who got one and went with me to whatever we want. I hate groups too but grab your 2 best friends and it will be a really fun night. Meeting new people is hard af and I don`t want to go though this.

    or really want nobody of your friends will ever leave the house?
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  12. haha i feel the same bro, i tried to go to a concert of an indie band "Fourtwnty". I'm alone and there is my friend but he with his gang. But i tried to ask to a person in front of me in a line of that concert about my ticket, the thing is before i asked i think. I think negatively. I imagined that this person would ridicule me but when i try to ask the person, what was in my mind is never happened.

    I think what blocked us from people is not how we do it, despite it right or wrong. But what blocked us is our negative thinking about other that might be caused by our defense of ourself. This is just my thought that life is full of uncertainty that we can't certain something in the future. Accept that uncertainty. So good luck man!
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.

    NF SINCE BIRTH Fapstronaut

    Try thinking a little outside the box. There are tons of ways meeting people. You can go to group workout sessions, join team sports, take dance classes, yoga, martial arts, singing, join hiking trips. Some places they even organise hiking trips for single people. Just try whatever interests you. As long as there is people involved.
    IWannaHakunaMatata likes this.

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