How do you stop getting your self worth from women ?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Kman20, Apr 23, 2019.

  1. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    Sir, I'm kind of in the opposite school of thought.

    Women have one thing on their minds and that is to get a guy to provide for them.

    This is why she asks one question when she meets you: what do you do for a living?

    She's doing a financial analysis. Every question that follows supports that in an indirect manner.

    If you say "doctor", she wants to know if you are a GP or a neurologist.

    If you say "musician" she wants to see how many monthly listeners you have.

    She wants results, otherwise, she will break it off.

    In my opinion, all of this is not right for a man.

    A guy should determine his life plans without worry about some woman.

    He needs to work in his career of choice, regardless of the pay.

    If he makes a lot of money, fine, if not, that should be fine too.

    Either way, a guy has to do what he has to do.

    A zebra cannot change their stripes.

    They can run like a horse, yes, but they are not a horse.

    A musician may be able to do some accounting work,

    but they will never aspire to be the head of the firm.
     
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  2. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    I was being serious. I have spent so much on my own entertainment. This is worth it 1,000%. I want a shirt too.
     
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  3. Dag

    Dag Fapstronaut

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    This is not entirely true.

    It could have been several years ago, but times change.

    Being wealthy does not make you good enough for woman to pick up genuine interest in you.

    Most woman are capable of being independent themselves without man in their lives, so why would they bother.

    Woman nowadays look for man who are not fappers. Man who look good and that they can show off. Of course quality of human being (in some cases). And a guy who is good in bed.

    Ex: I am dating a girl who is 7 years older than me (super hot 31 yo fit girl with fake breasts... I got super lucky, or perhaps not, just a good success), she supports herself and on our first day, she paid for things. On our 3rd date she confessed me that on her previously relationship she got to the point in which she was supporting her bf just because he had a big dick.

    Something similar goes with my sister. Shes with a guy not because of his economic value, but because of his sexual value.

    Same thing with 2 guys I know. 1 on real life and other on this forum, their GF/wife left them for some better looking guy that gives better sex.

    (You can say, these woman are not worthy, and they may not be. But if these guys had sexual/dating experience they would be able to screen that and choose the best
     
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  4. Dag

    Dag Fapstronaut

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    option between all thier options)

    I think a guy should include conquering and be in control over his ability to get woman as part of his plan. After all we are probably (and hopefully going to live with one for most of our lifes)
     
  5. YoungBaller23

    YoungBaller23 Fapstronaut

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    I've definitely been there. The lack of self esteem and confidence didn't feel good especially when others picked it up aswell (feeling needy, overthinking what others thought or said especially women.) But what I learned was Confidence and validation should be created within us and habits you can do is saying a good thing about yourself every day in the mirror and smile while u do it. Overall U have to Love Yourself! Now the most important part aswell is to be yourself. Never change yourself to be liked by others. Once u become more loving to yourself others would want to feel that aswell. Don't try to act hard or some other personl Trust me i had that issue in my past now its a different story (I'm confident) but it takes alot of mindset practice but in the long run trust me its worth it
     
  6. hitnmis

    hitnmis Fapstronaut

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    Hi,
    Looks like you've done the work for yourself
    Be yourself
    Try focusing your energy into helping others with no want in return.
    + what @Dag said
    Keep going!
     
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  7. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    What do you mean I’ve done the work myself already ?
     
  8. hitnmis

    hitnmis Fapstronaut

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  9. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    Forgotten about that.
     
  10. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    This may be unintentional but why get your self worth from any-one at all? The first step I'd say is to look at it reasonably. In a non-romantic relationship, say a father figure of some type or some mentor I'd say that is ultimately something one has to outgrow too. Sure if someone can give you guidance and wisdom, great, because that should be self-evident, but it is another matter to identify with them for any sense of value.

    Worth and value is relative to what you do, so to me it's all about action rather than a person regardless of how great they are. Also, there are different kinds of worth. Maybe thinking about this will be helpful.
     
  11. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    What are different kinds of worth ? Also I want to ask you if value is determined by what an individual does, what actions could they do, specifically ?
     
  12. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Well it depends on what is valuable to other people around you right? For example people who have never struggled with PMO at all or who does not care that they have the habit, they will see no value in a forum like this, whereas others will value the experience because they see it is an issue and they want to work on the same thing.

    If nobody valued any ability then the universe is just a bunch of meaningless action, but a lot of it is socially referenced in this way. What's even harder and I think even kind of tragic is the true innovators among us may be the least recognized because what they come up with is not a thing yet, and people have to take pause and realize they have an idea that could work instead of going by the existing standards and assumptions. So even with something like overcoming this addiction or addiction in general, I hope people have at least a little bit of an open mind instead of just going by a tradition which essentially is just the logic that "a bunch of people have been doing it this way and so I'll just go with that" and never look at how it works. A lot of it may be fine but it will never improve and increase in actual function if people don't think beyond that, and that kind of valuing ends up being closed ended and sort of self referential and stagnant when that happens IMO.
     

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