How Do You Stop the Craving?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by zavenwycliffe, Jul 16, 2015.

  1. zavenwycliffe

    zavenwycliffe Fapstronaut

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    I've gotten to the point now where I don't fap for fun anymore. The thing I really struggle with is when the craving comes...usually I go for about a week and then a wicked craving sets in, most often at night. I'll be laying in bed trying to sleep when I have this awful craving that I can't get out of my mind. After a couple hours of feeling the urge (yes, hours) I finally decide that enduring the pain of the craving isn't worth it anymore and I give in. I give up because it's so painful to lay there craving some kind of sexual stimulation, unable to go to sleep. It's like an itch that I'm not allowed to scratch and yet it gets stronger and stronger as time passes by. How do you end the craving??
     
  2. Look for something else to satisfy you, distract you and develop you.

    Look for a job, and if you already have a job; train a new set of skill (with the same means you use and waste your time over porn) and find another job. There are zillions of free online courses and Youtube videos that train you to learn something new, whether that is counselling others, exam marking student papers or learning a new language like Chinese. How about checking out self-defense if you have no disability?

    Look for new friends. Check out the latest events in your city or locality. Visit a religious group near you to keep you busy. Play a sport. Jog in the morning. Check out local sport groups to join others. You know when you have too much free time on your hand, you become the devil's playground.

    Find a hobby you can honestly enjoy such as video games, sports, collecting things, cooking food, sprucing up your garden, iron your clothes, clean your house, bring a new pot plant or buy a pet. If you can have a dog to take out for a walk, you can exercise and meet new people.

    There are hundreds of things you can do in this world. You need to find something else you enjoy doing. If you don't enjoy yourself, you won't have motivation to do anything. If you have no goal to achieve, there is no reason to study or train for it.

    Here's a technique I use to help young people around me overcome porn. I take photographs of them using their computers. Then I buy picture frames (yes, I have already done this) for the photos. Then I put the framed photographs in front of the addict. I then ask, "Look at yourself. Do you want to keep looking back at yourself with shame 10 years later? Can you even look at yourself now?"

    Back to the original question, how do you overcome the cravings for porn? You need to train yourself to develop "cravings" for other things in life and gradually start "starving" your sexual desires in order to divert your energy elsewhere. You know, the more you indulge in porn, the more you're drinking out of salty seawater that will never quench your thirst. Your body was designed and engineered to enjoy real sexual contact after all. The real thing is what you should be craving for. It will be good if all the male and female porn addicts can hook up and help one another out, and close the porn industry once and for all; but we don't live in the ideal world. So, try to spend as much time outdoors and socialise with others as much as you can. Porn addicts achieve nothing in life, nor can they ever attract real women. You need to develop your humanity and remind yourself that you want to live for what is worth living and you share this world with others; not feel chained to illusions in your gloomy loneliness and feel there's nothing out there for you.

    I have to add, sounds like you have strong hormones, so you should go out and play sports, aerobics or something like gardening at least. You need to keep your energy under control or else your powerful cravings will be "screaming" at you.
     
  3. Hotshot

    Hotshot Fapstronaut

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    I have found putting yourself in the same place or situations as when you pmod to be the hardest hut by cravings. Say you pmo in your bed at night that's always been your routine, it might help to change it. A slight environmental change helped me. Just rearranging my bedroom helped me.

    I use to come straight home hook up my laptop before bed after work for pmo then head to bed every day for years. I began leaving my laptop packed up in the living room not even in my bedroom to also help avoid the temptation.

    One thing bodies and minds don't like is discomfort. To me, the discomfort of having to get up out of bed, go to the living room grab my computer bring it back hook it all up ect. Is enough of a discomfort to put me off from actually doing it. Just too tired.

    So maybe try and environmental change and/or remove objects like computers or cell phones or tablets and keep them out of sight and out of mind. If it's not so easily accessed it probably will make it easier to say no to pmo.
     
  4. Aghast

    Aghast Fapstronaut

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    I know exactly how you feel. The urge to pmo can build up until you feel like you have to do something about it.

    If you really pay close attention to your mind and thoughts you may find that you are actually allowing the build up to occur by giving in and feeding sexual thoughts. Seeking advice online is usefull but it is up to you to pay close attention to your mind and to take action to control your thoughts and stop the hour-long sexual build up from occurring. PMO is an insatiable monster that when fed will require more and more. Laying in bed with sexual thoughts is almost as dangerous as watching P once just to "see" but we both know where that leads just about everytime.

    Also try not to have a "victimized" attitude, it will make you feel hopeless whereas a determined and confident attitude will keep you focused on what things you can try.

    My best advice that I have found works for me is to stay focused and vigilant on your thoughts, when you feel them stray you need to notice right away and stop it before you feed it.

    Also you can learn to actually like the withdrawal feelings because that pain your in represents the beast that you're starving to death. Once its dead, youll be free.
     
    Mamatz and spaceexperiment like this.
  5. msa2388

    msa2388 Fapstronaut

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    See my 'Mitch's Tune of the Day thread'. Give it a shot or go find your own favorite music. I find listening to music reeeeaaaaallllyyy helps kill a craving if it's something you can engross yourself in. I like classical stuff too, which I think helps because some pieces can be 20-40 minutes long. But really anything you can listen to obsessively can help.

    I really like uplifting or epic sounding music that elevates you on some level to. It can give you a sense of rising above your addiction, at least while you're listening to it.
     
  6. numpty

    numpty Fapstronaut

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    This is exactly the reason I say that people need to find themselves a woman a partner a gf. Because there is only so much hobbies can do... you cannot eliminate sex drive you can reduce or increase it.. but let that happen naturally dont force it.

    If you get a gf not only you will get sex (the real thing) because your mind and body needs it and a transition needs to occur from pmo to sex and if there is no transition then it is likely you will revert to what u are used to (fap)..

    With a gf you will get other benefits to ie go holidays, days out, days in, shopping etc.
     
  7. KingRecover17

    KingRecover17 Fapstronaut

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    Watch "Dealing with Urges without Suffering" on YouTube - Dealing with Urges without Suffering:
     
    numpty likes this.
  8. numpty

    numpty Fapstronaut

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    That's an excellent video.

    I like the gym example he has given. He is so right about it!

    I can do 30 sets ij total at the gym under heavy weights and am used to it. I can still have a good workout in 15 sets...because i have mastered it.

    Thank you for this video.

    Day one is today. Goal is to go for whole of august but not to check each day that another day has gone.

    Additionally my goal is to gain 4kg by end of August too.

    Hope the too much energy from too much eating doesn't make me m
     
    KingRecover17 likes this.

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