How do you tell someone you care about that they're affecting your reboot?

When they don't really kind of understand the reboot process from PIED and that I'm "worrying" about it too much? Though I do have a slight hunch he may believe in NoFap. Not sure about PIED though.

I'm guessing that this board is going to go into the direction of and would probably tell me to "forget about them" and "move onto someone else" but I'm ignoring that right now. I'm obviously infatuated and some people on this board don't understand how horrible it feels to be on the other side. I know that I'm not in a situation for a relationship seeing as how I have PIED. It's not easy. It's true that I need to find someone else, but I'm a virgin with PIED that needs to stay away from sex.

Basically, I have feelings for someone who has someone right now, but continuously messages me online on occasion and I get well...a bit of a small erection sometimes depending on the situation.

How do you avoid a sexual stimulation from someone online who liked you at one point but continuously messages you? How do you turn them down appropriately without destroying the relationship/friendship so I can see if I can get this reboot started?

The hard-cold true answer would be to block or take them off Facebook. I don't want to think of blocking them or taking them off right now. It's way too painful and rude (to them as well seeing as they did nothing wrong).

I'm very scared and borderline suicidal at some points. We haven't spoken for months at one point (between January and May). So I could have used that time to reboot.

I'm beyond frightened and sad. I am beyond lost.

I am gay btw. So I have no gay friends (but him). There aren't any LGBT groups near me where I live.

I really hate myself for this situation. I wish I can think of him as a friend and I should because he's well, taken. If there was a way I can think of him as a friend and not as a sexual friend, I'd be on that right away.

I am in psychotherapy, so perhaps the therapist can help me more.

Is meditation helpful for this?

 

Exactly! I would be. I don't know what I am going to do yet or when I am going to do it.

I agree with your asking for some space, but I am contemplating on a decision where I want to keep the friendship but not damage it completely and keep the focus on me.

What is this decision? It's temporarily (and for a year mind you) deleting Facebook and deleting Skype (and for a year as well). I know it's a harsh decision but it may be my most desperate move in order to regain my dopamine levels back to normal along with my sex life. It's just that I have conditioned my life to be as miserable as ever outside of the computer and I need a plan of action to get over this.

This is not easy. This is very difficult. I will be engrossed in loneliness if I do this cold turkey. I need to talk to my therapist about this decision because I need to get away from the life of a voyeur and into the life of a do-er while also make appropriate life changes outside of the computer. I am very addicted to the computer, I do no exercise, I buy and play video games too much, I am insecure about being gay, and am very depressed. I am desperate to change.

I haven't decided when I am doing this, what the pros and cons of deleting Facebook are, and how to explain it to people that I need to work on myself before making this huge decision.

I am a 30 year old millennial who is unfortunately an addicted byproduct of this computer generation. I have few real-life friends as well.

I am in an emotional vulnerable attachment state at the moment so I can't do it now. Only until I see my next psychologist who specializes in addiction.

We can't do anything together. He is taken. He's in a gay monogamous relationship. I respect that and I refuse to do to anything sexual with or on someone whose taken. He shares the same sentiment.

We met online before he met his current boyfriend though. He was attracted to me, but I didn't go anymore with it (before I had PIED) because I knew how scared and insecure that I was. He added me on Facebook though and once I started seeing his boyfriend on there, subtle emotions of jealousy came up and anxiety came up. I think a Facebook break will do me good though, I can work on myself and I can put things into better perspective.

This is a friendship that's strange because he's a genuine guy and he's not a jerk. He complimented me. He's a good all-around guy and he thinks that I'm "worth it" as a friend. I'm unfortunately too obsessed and attached and I need to healthily distance myself. It's not my fault that I became infatuated over the internet (he lives about 30+ miles away and we've met in real life on two occasions. I'm feeling some guilt about it though).

The hardest thing is working on myself. I already started driving lessons though, so that's a start. I've always been afraid to drive and it's interesting how PIED pushed me to change into tackling my fear.

This is the hardest thing in my life right now because I don't even know if I have PIED, but I have all the matching symptoms of a flatline. I got these flatline symptoms after orgasming one day. I've been like this for well over a year and can't stop orgasming with a flaccid dick because again addiction. I have no libido, a small penis, an occasional erection by manual stimulation, and a desensitized dick with minimal sexual reception. One of the few times I feel a slight amount of 'hard' in my small dick is if someone verbally through text or spoken words compliments me. Does this count as a PIED condition? I don't know if it technically does.

I am non-religious, open to spiritual perspectives.

I am feeling lots of guilt in the realm of "Why did I meet him those two times? That's just getting you more attached!" but I also feel like it's also pushing me out of my comfort zone in a way. It's a double-edged sword because the online is fueling my PIED condition but I went to the city with him for a concert and it was one of those real-life experiences that I will always remember. I had never been to a concert in real-life and it was quite awesome seeing a real mosh go on and listening to the loud music. It was an awesome experience! But I also feel guilt on the contrary.

Yup. I feel so weird, so lost, and in a self-sabotaged guilt.

I'm a virgin who has never done anything with a guy because I have anxiety, I am shy, and I am insecure about being gay. I have bipolar depression which is currently medicated.

I also work a part-time job which I absolutely hate which needs to change. The change of the job is probably going to be part of the healing process.

Anyway, that's enough about me for now.

 

This is what I wanted and needed to hear. Thanks. I unfortunately, don't have a strong social circle right now. Most of my friends are moving. And that's where the conflict comes in - I'm gay, feeling 'small' (emotionally), introverted, can't move right now (like to a new area), but I need to change this. This needs to change. I feel like I'm stuck and alone can't move but that's not true.

This is why I need to break away from Facebook and Skype, so we stop talking. Just for a while so I can get myself back together again spiritually, mentally, and hopefully sexually.

I've been contemplating the gym for a long time now. It's time I do that I think. You're not being harsh. Sometimes the truth hurts.

Do you have any recommendations on inspirational movies on addiction and pain yet, where there was redemption? As strange as that sounds, I could use some perspective and inspiration. It could up my creativity.

 

I decided to tell this man the next time he messages me that my webcam doesn't work. I also stopped going on Skype.

This is emotionally one of the hardest things for me to do. Facebook he still is on and I'm vulnerable to his messages on there. This is where I'm struggling...how do I handle Facebook with him so he doesn't think I don't care about him yet I (honestly) do.