How does your SO feel about you having a NoFap account/journal ?

My girlfriend knows that I am actively doing NF. We talk about it quite a lot and although she doesn't really get the point (she doesn't mastrubate at all and doesn't feel the need to do so) she supports me tremendously! I never told her about the forums however, and I'm quite sure she doesn't now that a place likes this exists. I don't see the point in telling her since I've never talked about our sex live or met a female on here.

 

My fiancée knows all about NoFap, this site, and my daily journal. She's been very supportive of it all. It's so nice being open about everything now. No more lies or secrets between us.

 

My wife actively encouraged me to start a NoFap account and post on here regularly. Being an active member of the forum was a condition of us having a future together. She reads all of my posts and we talk a lot about my recovery process. I honestly don't think I could have got this far without her support and whilst it can be frustrating how little she trusts me at times (with good reason) , I know that she really wants me to succeed.

 

Yes, she is totally supportive. She knows that having a community to relate to when trying to recover from an addiction can be very helpful. I often talk about posts and others experiences with her. I occasionally read my posts to her, which can be similar to our daily love journal we keep in a book.
I have a strange feeling about worrying she thinks I spend too much time on here though. I get the urge to shut the window when she comes close. I suppose this is left over from years of hiding anything to so with PMO from her.

 

She's very supportive and happy that I'm taking actions to get better. She sees the benefit of how it'll help her and our relationship.

 

this is interesting, and worth exploring. hopefully you can understand why she feels the need to check everything, and it is not fun nor a power trip for her (more than likely anyway) but more like a way of preventing total inner panic and anxiety at bay. she sounds a lot like me, and i value privacy...at least i always have respected and valued personal space and time before the relationship with the PA tore me up and now i feel so sure he's doing something that will hurt me deeply if don't know what or where he is up to. it at least shows a lack of care, which always precedes a really shitty selfish action. always.

but, that said.....it could be that you are yearning for a sense of independence, or at least to have some part of your self expression exclusively to yourself. this might be tricky to navigate but best to bring up at a time of casual conversation rather than after possible issues get ignited. just a thought. look into it in a controlled and possibly guided way. counselor?

 

On reflection I think it is me that is worried about spending too much time on this forum. I dont go looking for psubs but I do get a buzz when I see that little red alert sign, in the same way as when I get a WhatsApp notification . And with the forum having sexual content, all be it in a therapeutic way, I think I am cautious about how much I use it. From my wife's perspective, she tries really hard to trust me and I think she is starting to since I have been writing a daily journal and reading it to her. I tell her about having intrusive sexual thoughts and try to be Frank about when I am in a bad place mentally and what that looks like in terms of unwanted automatic thoughts.This has really helped stop things building up into unwanted behaviours.
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