how far did you get into porn? ***Warning: possibly triggering content ! ***

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by BravelyKegger, Mar 3, 2019.

  1. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    Eww, that sounds awful! o_O
     
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  2. I bet it is... only if you are doing it right.
     
  3. I got to a point where I couldn't get off to anything that wasn't in at least 1080p
     
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  4. BravelyKegger

    BravelyKegger Fapstronaut

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    Its about being degraded, it truly is awful what porn can lead you into.
     
  5. Luk2005

    Luk2005 Fapstronaut

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    I agree that knowledge doesn't make it easy, but i would never start if I haevn't got the proper informations. I don't think that stopping without the info is even possible.
    It's also quite different for me in case of deepening in the porn genres, because I did it gradually - not because I relapsed or something. The dopamine theory stated by BravelyKegger sounds more believable in my case.
     
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  6. Ancesthor

    Ancesthor Fapstronaut

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    I know what you mean, i got into a lot of trouble and like and alcoholic i crashed i knew i couldn´t keep doing this so i asked for help, sometimes i feel like relapsing but i control myself so i dont mess up again, it´s difficult but once you get clean it feels really good.
     
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  7. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    This is IDENTICAL to my situation
     
  8. backtolife42

    backtolife42 Fapstronaut

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    I got into pretty much everything, I have seen the most fucked up shit (guro, loli) mostly in the form of hentai, but I was at a point where I was actually searching for underaged porn.
    What frightens me about this, is how quickly I got desezitized to some this stuff. A lot of the shit I jerked off to, made me physically sick when I first encountered it, but there was also this kind of morbid curiosity, that made me look at it.
    When I first saw two girls one cup, I almost puked on my laptop, a few years later I was jerking to scat porn.
    When I saw the firts gape/prolapse scene, I turned off my browser and was pretty disturbed, later I started to jerk to this shit regularly.
    When I first saw the loli stuff, i thought what kind of sick pervert watches this? You guessed it...me...
    It took some more time to get into the guro stuff, but if you are that deep into fucked up hentai, you see it from time to time, and you get curious. And befor you know it, you jack off to a little girl getting brutally murdered (of course its „only“ hentai, but seriously, how long will it take, till it becomes reality?)
    I also got into sissy hypnos, got turned on by the idea of having unprotected gay sex, and by stds.
    I have fantazized about a lot of selfdestructive shit. I have been into things smoking, drugs, weight gain (yup even this is a thing, and basically what turns you on about it, is that someone is destroying their body...)
    Also watched beatiality, incest....
    I could probably go on and on with this list, I have been a porn addict for 7-9 years now.

    I think its probably the guro, loli and sissy stuff, that made me realize I have to get my shit together. I cant live with the fact, that I have become this fucked up pervert, and I am afraid that if I dont manage to turn my life around, and stop watching this kind of shit, I might some day actually become a danger to others.

    The thing that gives me hope, is that when I manage to stay away from porn for more than a day (currently I relapse very regularly, but I am working on it), the fantasies I have are nothing like that shit. But once I start to watch porn, I never know, what places I end up. (it has become better since I started my nofap journey, but I just had a pretty bad relapse, which is the reason I am browsing the forums right now, to get back on track.)
    Whats interesting is, that oftentimes, when the fucked up shit doesnt do it anymore, i return to some very softcore stuff, that suddenly can give me a hard one again.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2019
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  9. BravelyKegger

    BravelyKegger Fapstronaut

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    Your story sounds exactly like mine, i would say the only porn i never felt bad about was futanari, tho it would be awkward if someone saw that.
     
  10. backtolife42

    backtolife42 Fapstronaut

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    I am glad that I am not the only one (at the same time its kinda scary to know that there might be more people out there who are currently on this path).
    Futa isnt that bad, never felt to bad when I watched this (even though my interest in it is clearly caused by my addiction). At the end I was always kinda relieved when I was "only" watching some incest on pornhub, or some "regular" anal scene, since these seem like less destructive genres than some of the other thins.
     
  11. BravelyKegger

    BravelyKegger Fapstronaut

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    I could never get into guro, it just was so gross and hard to get turned on by. I did see some torture hentai and that really messed me up, it was drawn and gosh the detail on that thing, the pure agony on their faces.
     
  12. backtolife42

    backtolife42 Fapstronaut

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    I know, it took years of excessive porn use to get to this point, I think the first time I actually jerked off to guro was less than a year ago, after that I was searching for some more for a few days. I think the only reason I got into it, was because it would actually increase my heartrate, it was something repulsive but it caused me to feel this kind of weird excitement again. Once it became "normal" I lost interest in it pretty quickly.
     
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  13. backtolife42

    backtolife42 Fapstronaut

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    Btw I think one of the driving factors when I looked at this kind of stuff, is that it is usually very specific material that is hard to find, and it activates this kind of hunter instinct, looking for something very specific that will "reward" you in the end.
     
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  14. backtolife42

    backtolife42 Fapstronaut

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    I have never been into torture, and when I looked at the guro stuff, I would usually search material that would involve women voluntarily doing that, or while drugged etc, seeing this real agony was usually a big turnoff for me aswell.
     
  15. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    I'll quote myself here for a second. I just searched for the article again, because I wanted to read it again myself. If you haven't heard about intermittent porn use and it's potential dangers, I highly recommend to check this out. This article explains exactly what I experienced, while trying to cut out porn!

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/reb...ong-abstinence-with-binges-an-addiction-risk/
     
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  16. bodys

    bodys New Fapstronaut

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    Same boat. I've found I have no pride anymore. It would get to the point that I would open a new window and think "whats the worst thing I can think of." Jailbait, sissy hypno/chastity, loli/shota, and for me bestiality was there too. Just gross stuff. Its at the point that I can hardly look at people in public. Too much stuff crap going through my head.
    I don't want to watch potentially illegal content. I don't want to be that sort of person.
     
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  17. I would sadly have to say, I believe o got around to seeing most of what is out there. Luckily I did not get "stuck" on some of the darker genre's. Knowing now that most of it was escalation does help a bit.
     
  18. BravelyKegger

    BravelyKegger Fapstronaut

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    Really getting addicted to the messed up stuff is what brings full blown porn addiction in my experience.
     
  19. And understanding the why or what was really going on your mind helps with being able to look at it and deal with and in time beat it. Never give up brother.
     
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  20. HugoBoss

    HugoBoss Fapstronaut

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    I watched anything from milfs to incest, pregnant women, fake taxi, fake nurse, fake doctor, pickup videos (of course, all of them were staged).
     
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