How Hope Plays A Role

slaythedragon

Fapstronaut
NoFap Defender
It's amazing how well I did when I was full of hope.

I was going to a top school for a top major with lots of prospects;
and despite the stress, was for the most part able to be free
of PMO. The hope of a better life provided the motivation I needed
to keep healthy habits in place and avoid porn.

Then my parents went through a separation, I hit multiple barriers at school
and ended up dropping out, all my prospects diminished,
and now I am working two dead end jobs to survive.

And I have been looking at porn again.

Without the hope of a better life, it was sure easy for me to give up,
give in, and go back to what numbs the pain...

Does hope play a role for you?
I sure hope I can find hope again,
as I start a new 90 day challenge...
 
Yes absolutely I experienced this as well. Lesson one is you now know you have the capacity to do this, lesson two is you can't let your circumstances or mood be something that drags you down. It's not easy I know. I seriously wasted years before I realized my dreams were not going to come to my rescue and I needed to get my ass in gear despite my circumstances if I didn't want to remain in a rut till the day I died.
So I managed finally to do two things:
1) Fuck the moods the feelings the emotional baggage the ups and downs, just approach this with sober determination, like a soldier having to get bridge built while under fire, you just become ruthlessly practical about it, who cares if you feel good about it one day seems hopeless the next, get it done, take stock of your failures and make adjustments and restart, you should even consider making nofap your absolute primary goal for the next three months.
2) Start working on where you get your self worth from, why you need success to love yourself [think about it fapping is an act of hatred it's like self rape, use yourself as an object for a fleeting moment of pleasure], find things to hold on to that are less elusive, less dependent on good fortune. I have been doing meditation, making music, photography, none of it has 'success potential' but all of it increases my awareness and helps me appreciate what I do have.

In case you are not aware of this book now might be a good time to lake a look at it:
Eckhart Tolle "the power of now" especially the first half, it gets a little loopy after that, but he has some really good insights in how to get out of your head and emotions.
 
Yes absolutely I experienced this as well. Lesson one is you now know you have the capacity to do this, lesson two is you can't let your circumstances or mood be something that drags you down. It's not easy I know. I seriously wasted years before I realized my dreams were not going to come to my rescue and I needed to get my ass in gear despite my circumstances if I didn't want to remain in a rut till the day I died.
So I managed finally to do two things:
1) Fuck the moods the feelings the emotional baggage the ups and downs, just approach this with sober determination, like a soldier having to get bridge built while under fire, you just become ruthlessly practical about it, who cares if you feel good about it one day seems hopeless the next, get it done, take stock of your failures and make adjustments and restart, you should even consider making NoFap your absolute primary goal for the next three months.
2) Start working on where you get your self worth from, why you need success to love yourself [think about it fapping is an act of hatred it's like self rape, use yourself as an object for a fleeting moment of pleasure], find things to hold on to that are less elusive, less dependent on good fortune. I have been doing meditation, making music, photography, none of it has 'success potential' but all of it increases my awareness and helps me appreciate what I do have.

In case you are not aware of this book now might be a good time to lake a look at it:
Eckhart Tolle "the power of now" especially the first half, it gets a little loopy after that, but he has some really good insights in how to get out of your head and emotions.

Wow- that's great perspective and helpful advice- thank you!
I think I have heard of that book once, will order a copy.
Cheers, Chad
 
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