Hello fellow non-fappers,stalkers,lurkers, and other internet kindred. I have been looking around these forums for the better part of a year. They have been extremely helpful in a few areas for me so i decided to give back the best way i can. Indeed, i feel rather obliged to share my experiences with social anxiety, and how i ,(for lack of a better term) emerged from the murky depths of high school with so much confidence i annoyed everyone around me. Disclaimers(yes there are a fair few): 1:This is my experience, i have no idea how my methods will impact you. My situation is likely very different to your own. 2:Confidence does not always translate to results, sometimes confidence gets you into trouble. 3: What i suggest may require annoying/intimidating others around you 4: I am young, very young (19) by most people's standards. You could say that maybe i'm inexperienced in life. Fair enough, i recognize that i have much to learn and do. 5. My "transformation" happened over many years, reinforced by my personality, events and people around me. Ok, what i suggest follows a kind of 5 step plan 1. Find something you're good at (can be nigh on anything) 2. Personally identify with whatever you're good at. Make it a part of yourself. Be proud to be associated with this activity. 3. Strive to be the best at what you identify with (If you're truly good at whatever you're doing you're likely to meet success). 4. Now you "own" this area of knowledge, experience, game, sport, whatever. You're the best, this is your "core". 5. From this core everything will flow. Say for example you're a gifted programmer,writer, athlete, whatever, you own this shit, no one you know personally can usurp this. 6. watch others struggle in your area of expertise. See how you can simply achieve things many other can't. 7. Because you can achieve such "remarkable" feats whilst others struggle you're in some ways superior. 8. With this new knowledge approach everything knowing that whatever happens you still have your "core" 9. The more you approach things with confidence, generally the more confidence you will have. It's like developing a habit or discipline, it just becomes normal function. Ok, here is a short run down of my experience. In primary school- elementry (grades 1-6 in Australia) I was never well liked, socializing was something that clearly was harder for me than other students. Many times during breaks I would feel isolated, alone. It was difficult, but hey kids are shitty people. I believe that this experience lead me to be a very strong individual. I was more or less forced to like myself because no one else did. In later years I made friends with individuals through shared interests. However, i was never popular in any sense. Highschool- middle school (grades 7-10) It was here that i started to notice in class i picked up on English, History, and Sciences very quickly. I suppose i might be slightly 'gifted'(I hate the term as much as anyone else). Anyway, it meant that often i knew shit noone else did. I guess i got a taste of superiority. This drove me towards reading, googleing, ect, anything to further my knowledge in the areas that interested me. As a result of this constant learning i always had the answer. I had a core, a centre from which all my confidence would flow. Further highschool (grades 11-12) I think it was during this period that i saw the most evolution. I took my confidence from my knowledge and decided to apply it to the outer world. I could do this because i possessed a core. I knew that if i failed it wouldn't matter because i can always perform at what i'm good at. If i failed (and i did on occasions) i didn't care. I developed a sort of shield, complete confidence that whatever i do my core will still be intact. Once i developed this attitude it attracted the ire of many people. And i guess fair enough, what i now possess very much looks like arrogance. Indeed, a strong argument could be made that this entire article is the ravings of a madman. However, i know my weaknesses, i just don't acknowledge them as limiting factors. If i can do something about my weakness i will, if i can't i accept them as a part of who i am. Essentially i think confidence derives from self acceptance. And those steps i posted above is how i reached said self acceptance. So there you have it. I guess in some ways what i have said might be a little unsettling but this is really how i have developed thus far. This is not a guide to make someone, anyone, or everyone like you. Rather, it is about developing a strong acceptance of self. Anyway i hope this will be of use to someone or i will have just wasted thirty minutes. Feel free to scold my for my moral depravity, or ask questions.