How I f*cked up

Hi there.

There was like 6 years since I joined community on reddit. Since then my life got better and better - I was not afraid of woman anymore, my skin got better and my body is stronger. Also I felt happier. Since the ending of school in 2015, I was focused on my carrier. I worked in four workplaces. It's 2019 and in 4 years I've got a good experience that gave me salary that's bigger than 90% of all people in my country.

I was happy, because I could afford something, that I couldn't when I was teenager - good clothing, games, better PC, expensive perfumes etc. Also helped my family. We were not poor earlier, but barely make ends meet. So that made me happy.

In the process of improving myself - I have lost every friend I had. On the 24th birthday that was a week ago, few people in college wished my happy birthday. That was an awesome feeling, but few hours later when I was sitting alone in home, I cried. I was crying because I tried to ask few people to spend with me an hour or so just sitting and talking about whatever. Needed that as hell. No one had time for me - even my family.
Holidays just started and I don't have anyone that can go anywhere with me. Nor even to meet in a bar or talk.

Because of trying to do my career I fucked up with my social life. I didn't strike a balance between that. I'm feeling lost, because when I was younger, everyone was saying "learn and do stuff, so you won't hunger when you're adult". I'm not hungry, I'm not poor, but I feel lonely. For a guy in his 20s when I should have a pack of friends, I feel beaten up. Don't know what I should do now.

I'm back here to improve myself, because it always helps me. But with social life, I'm on dead end and don't know what to do with that.

Thanks for reading this mess. I will be grateful for every each response.

 

Thanks for your reply! Actually I tried that. I said I'm so sorry that I ditched them and wanted to repair that by taking them to few places we liked. We had this meeting like two or three months ago, but since then I know they are holding meetings without me. So I guess that's it. Maybe I'm convicted to find new friends.

 

Yeah, I rebooted some time ago and had healthy sex life. All my fears and struggles were connected to this habit. When I felt pressure or some kind of tension I needed to release it by PMO cycle like once a month. I have learned how to deal with my addiction and still learning how to keep myself up and motivated. Porn have been a problem for me since I was 11. I'm 24 now.
Why does every thread in "Loneliness" subforum need to be connected with porn or masturbation? I'm just asking for help.

 

Sure. I'm doing NoFap and struggling with loneliness. What's your point Mr IGY?

 

That can be a good insight. Lately I haven't been masturbating. Felt weaker yesterday and done it. Decided that I need clarity in mind. That's why I joined NoFap again.
Sorry, if you feel attacked - I felt like that after your message. I'm sorry for this. I'm happy that you want to help me.
I'm doing PMO when I'm in heavy emotional trouble - like breakup, change of workplace, losing friends. That's my triggers.
After your insight, decided I will go full dive into NoFap. With physical activity (riding bike, workout), reading and trying to socialize as much as I have energy.
Do you have any tips regarding socializing? I don't really like clubs and going to local events like public lectures were not effective (I would say).

 

Not a problem. I will choose what I should do from your list. Thank you very much.