The Path Is Here
Fapstronaut
About Me:
(M, Late 20s) P was introduced into my life sometime around the cusp of pubescence. At first, it was a way for me to feel good. This was especially useful for times when I was stressed and alone. I didn't realize it at the time, but that, combined with other behaviors, was actually numbing me out and dulling my life. I wasted a lot of time and opportunities. With P, it felt like I had a magic instant eraser of all the bad and stressful feelings that I didn't know how to deal with.
I didn't realize that it was actually contributing to my heightened anxiety, lower motivation, brain fog, inconsistency, lonliness, and depression. P made it easy for me to check out of life, and as a consequence of that, I do sometimes look back on the life I could have lived had I been able to get 90 days clean earlier in my 20s. P was actually making me feel worse.
I send that out to anyone reading this who is younger than me and on their journey. But, despite this, I choose to not live with regret. All my setbacks gave me experience, and now that I have 90 days clean from PM, which I thought was literally impossible for me after hundreds if not thousands of times of trying and failing, I have proven to myself that I am capable of applying myself to any endeavor and succeeding. I avoided a lot of things in that time, and fast forward 15+ years and I really had almost given up trying to get sober from this. I had been attempting NoFap for about 8 years, and my longest streak of sobriety in that time was about 45 days. But, today, I am 90 days clean from PM. And for that, I am grateful.
In the spirit of wanting to give back to this community, I'll outline below what worked and my benefits I've observed in the first 90 days.
What Worked:
1. App/Website Blocker
For me this is essential. I had to get serious and admit to myself that if I have access to P, I'm going to probably use it. I had to put my pride aside, and invest in my recovery and stop making excuses . The tool that I use is an app called Freedom. It works great for me, and can operate on both a phone and any other device so it really covers all the bases.
2. Accept that you are going to feel discomfort
For me, P was a way to regulate my emotions. And when I removed that from my life, I had to deal with the emotions I was struggling to regulate otherwise, as well as the pangs from the P-infested brain state that yearned for the small dopamine hit that it was so used to feeling. Accept that some days, you're going to feel like absolute shit, but that those feelings will pass.
3. Apply yourself to meaningful projects
I cleaned my apartment, started expressing myself creatively again, got into social clubs, and more which last year would have felt impossible. Start as small as you need to, but apply your energy to something that is better for your long term goals, which you've been avoiding whether or not you're aware of it, with PMO.
4. Stop the other behaviors that you do to let yourself off the hook for using P.
These are going to be different for everyone, but for me I had to also stop smoking Pot. I'm sure that also has played a huge role in this success. When I would use pot, I would have released my inhibitions and then be more easily tempted to use P. So, by stopping weed, too I was also able to have more success.
6. Permanently delete your stash
I know that for me, I had things saved, bookmarked, screenshotted, all of that. Seeing any of those images or videos would easily lead to a relapse. So, get them off your devices permanently.
7. Recognize that Social Media is a slippery slope.
In line with point #5, I find that the algorithm is always trying to loop you back to attractive women. I know that it may be impossible in this day and age to be off social media completely, but be extra cautious on there about what you choose to consume.
8. Physical exercise
Another essential. You're going to have more energy that is going to need an outlet in your body. Exert it through exercise or dancing, or whatever gets you moving. Ideally it gets you out of the house too, if that's possible for you.
Benefits:
1. More Time
2. More Energy
3. Healthier and more Regulated Emotions
Bottom Line:
Notice that I didn't list things like more female attraction, clearer skin, more muscle mass etc. that you may see on other people's success stories. That is because ultimately, the benefits you get from doing NoFap are going to come from the choices you make with that increase in your time and energy. Granted, all of those things that I just listed in this paragraph did occur. But, it wasn't because I wasn't watching P - not entirely - it was because I wasn't watching P, and using my energy and time to make different choices that brought those results.
Doing NoFap for 90 days doesn't magically mean that at the end of those three months, you're going to have a girlfriend, be more confident, and have a fuller life. You have to leverage that energy to go to the gym, to practice your social skills, develop yourself, etc.
I'm definitely still at the beginning of my journey, and I know that there is so much more to come. To be honest, I didn't really feel any immense joy or pride having reached this milestone, which I would have definitely expected I might feel. But, I think that's because recovery extends beyond 90 days, and I don't want to let myself off the hook? Who can say.
The bottom line, is that if you're reading this and you've just relapsed for the hundreth-thousanth time, I am living proof that you should not give up hope. Your journey is your own and this is a great community to be a part of. My journey continues... Thank you for reading this, I hope that someone finds this helpful.
(M, Late 20s) P was introduced into my life sometime around the cusp of pubescence. At first, it was a way for me to feel good. This was especially useful for times when I was stressed and alone. I didn't realize it at the time, but that, combined with other behaviors, was actually numbing me out and dulling my life. I wasted a lot of time and opportunities. With P, it felt like I had a magic instant eraser of all the bad and stressful feelings that I didn't know how to deal with.
I didn't realize that it was actually contributing to my heightened anxiety, lower motivation, brain fog, inconsistency, lonliness, and depression. P made it easy for me to check out of life, and as a consequence of that, I do sometimes look back on the life I could have lived had I been able to get 90 days clean earlier in my 20s. P was actually making me feel worse.
I send that out to anyone reading this who is younger than me and on their journey. But, despite this, I choose to not live with regret. All my setbacks gave me experience, and now that I have 90 days clean from PM, which I thought was literally impossible for me after hundreds if not thousands of times of trying and failing, I have proven to myself that I am capable of applying myself to any endeavor and succeeding. I avoided a lot of things in that time, and fast forward 15+ years and I really had almost given up trying to get sober from this. I had been attempting NoFap for about 8 years, and my longest streak of sobriety in that time was about 45 days. But, today, I am 90 days clean from PM. And for that, I am grateful.
In the spirit of wanting to give back to this community, I'll outline below what worked and my benefits I've observed in the first 90 days.
What Worked:
1. App/Website Blocker
For me this is essential. I had to get serious and admit to myself that if I have access to P, I'm going to probably use it. I had to put my pride aside, and invest in my recovery and stop making excuses . The tool that I use is an app called Freedom. It works great for me, and can operate on both a phone and any other device so it really covers all the bases.
2. Accept that you are going to feel discomfort
For me, P was a way to regulate my emotions. And when I removed that from my life, I had to deal with the emotions I was struggling to regulate otherwise, as well as the pangs from the P-infested brain state that yearned for the small dopamine hit that it was so used to feeling. Accept that some days, you're going to feel like absolute shit, but that those feelings will pass.
3. Apply yourself to meaningful projects
I cleaned my apartment, started expressing myself creatively again, got into social clubs, and more which last year would have felt impossible. Start as small as you need to, but apply your energy to something that is better for your long term goals, which you've been avoiding whether or not you're aware of it, with PMO.
4. Stop the other behaviors that you do to let yourself off the hook for using P.
These are going to be different for everyone, but for me I had to also stop smoking Pot. I'm sure that also has played a huge role in this success. When I would use pot, I would have released my inhibitions and then be more easily tempted to use P. So, by stopping weed, too I was also able to have more success.
6. Permanently delete your stash
I know that for me, I had things saved, bookmarked, screenshotted, all of that. Seeing any of those images or videos would easily lead to a relapse. So, get them off your devices permanently.
7. Recognize that Social Media is a slippery slope.
In line with point #5, I find that the algorithm is always trying to loop you back to attractive women. I know that it may be impossible in this day and age to be off social media completely, but be extra cautious on there about what you choose to consume.
8. Physical exercise
Another essential. You're going to have more energy that is going to need an outlet in your body. Exert it through exercise or dancing, or whatever gets you moving. Ideally it gets you out of the house too, if that's possible for you.
Benefits:
1. More Time
2. More Energy
3. Healthier and more Regulated Emotions
Bottom Line:
Notice that I didn't list things like more female attraction, clearer skin, more muscle mass etc. that you may see on other people's success stories. That is because ultimately, the benefits you get from doing NoFap are going to come from the choices you make with that increase in your time and energy. Granted, all of those things that I just listed in this paragraph did occur. But, it wasn't because I wasn't watching P - not entirely - it was because I wasn't watching P, and using my energy and time to make different choices that brought those results.
Doing NoFap for 90 days doesn't magically mean that at the end of those three months, you're going to have a girlfriend, be more confident, and have a fuller life. You have to leverage that energy to go to the gym, to practice your social skills, develop yourself, etc.
I'm definitely still at the beginning of my journey, and I know that there is so much more to come. To be honest, I didn't really feel any immense joy or pride having reached this milestone, which I would have definitely expected I might feel. But, I think that's because recovery extends beyond 90 days, and I don't want to let myself off the hook? Who can say.
The bottom line, is that if you're reading this and you've just relapsed for the hundreth-thousanth time, I am living proof that you should not give up hope. Your journey is your own and this is a great community to be a part of. My journey continues... Thank you for reading this, I hope that someone finds this helpful.
