How I will be able to stop looking at girls butts?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Deleted Account, Sep 19, 2018.

  1. I find the older people get the more immature they get. Really age isn't a thing to go by.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Part of the reason we are here is that there is a lack of leadership. Older people can provide that sometimes. I intend to more and more, but first I will improve myself.
  3. I don't think it's a lack of leadership since many of our leaders are immature.
    Deleted Account and Jennica like this.
  4. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    @Senso repair, I've been keeping a list of threads about ogling which you may find useful, it's here.
    vxlccm likes this.
  5. Sorry, my last few posts in this thread haven't been all that serious and probably not much help to you. I seriously wouldn't recommend castration or tearing out eyes. Lol! But like in my post about the pink elephant demonstrates telling yourself to not do something is probably going to make you do it even more. Shifting your focus will probably be more helpful. When shifting focus don't force it, let it be something you want to focus on.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 21, 2018
  6. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

    It all starts from what you let in your heart and mind I think that’s what is important
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  7. LOL!
    Ra's Al Ghul likes this.
  8. Blade-rnr

    Blade-rnr Fapstronaut

    My father once told me... look once you're a man. Look twice, you're not a husband. No reason to feel bad about looking at a woman's body. We're hardwired that way (this is why porn is so addictive for us). But if you keep staring then you quickly step over into "creep" territory... people don't like that.
  9. vxlccm

    vxlccm Fapstronaut

    Thanks for being so thoughtful, @kropo82.

    One of my best tricks is to try to remember people have names. That they are a real person. This is a problem in all of society -- look at the #MeToo thing which is worse because it's abuse, but we men should conduct ourselves better.
    kropo82 likes this.
  10. Master the art of admiring the booty curvature with your peripherals. I usually look at the ground about 15 feet in front of me (mainly to check for bumps so I dont trip and look like a dumbass), and if a hot woman is walking nearby with that lady sway, I can tell with my peripherals. Just don't stare directly and you're good.

    It is a delicate balance between not being a dick (overly sexually aggressive) and not being a cuck (a guy who is mortally afraid of looking at a woman for fear of offending her).

    Balance that shit man.
  11. Carbon 1

    Carbon 1 New Fapstronaut

    You could just get a thought in your mind that women are also a creation of god and we need to respect them. All women have butts. Why be fantasized? Just ignore and patt yourself that you have matured a little bit and it will work.
  12. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

    You won’t cuz your a healthy sexual male. But with enough abstinence and work on yourself and stopping all PMO you might gain what I’ve gained, which is very little compulsion to look and very little obsession over it once I look.

    I can take it or leave it, but my healthy sexual ideal leaves room for looking, but since nofap and no PMO I am not obsessed with butts and can look at them with a healthy and normal and balanced level of sexual desire.

    Example from tonight actually! There was a girl walking her dog. I was eating dinner with my parents at a restaurant.
    She had yoga pants on and I could see her panties through her pants as she walked across the crosswalk.
    I looked for a few seconds as she walked, but then went back to my food and conversation. She was still in view, yet I didn’t look any more. I didn’t force myself to stop, there wasn’t that magnetic pull. I looked but Then I moved on.

    Was it hot? Yes! Was I turned on, yes! Did I become obsessed and lose all focus of the moment with my dinner and parents? No.

    In the past I wouldn’t have been able to look away, until she was completely out of site. Then I would have thought about it for a while and fantasized.
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2018
  13. slapdad jones

    slapdad jones Fapstronaut

    Thats it for me. Spend a few hours in a major airport which I do regularly. Its fucking exhausting.
    Its also totally unappropriated behavior. Lol.
    All kidding aside. I have to actively ignore women which is nearly impossible for me. That being said I am an alcoholic with close to 10 years sober and I play music in bars and go to them and never have a second thought about taking a drink. I cant seem to maintain that kind of willpower when Im in a hotel for a week. Porn is always available. I have managed to do a few good runs of 30+ days but its very difficult for me. I keep trying though.
    kropo82 likes this.
  14. Been there, done that
    hardowner likes this.
  15. Just ask Bill Clinton,he sure likes to look.
  16. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

    Use the same principles of the Big Book but for this addiction.

    Pray, meditate, journal daily. Do a detailed 4th step and clean house. Seek a therapist and other outside help so you can honestly discuss your sex problems. Go to SAA meetings and discuss regularly with others. Get to the root of the problem rather than the symptom as the big blog suggests.

    And also, I had to force myself not to look for a while. It was so painful not to look, that I literally would cry. I was letting go of something that kept me protected from pain for so long that not being able to use sex as a way to calm mysyself made my literally cry amd I became depressed. I discussed these issues with everyone I could, and eventually I got over that hump. Probably 30 days into intensive work on myself.

    Hope this helps you on your journey!
    kropo82 likes this.
  17. We are hard wired to look at women this is evolution. as long as we are not ridiculously obvious about it and blatant i wouldn't worry about it.
    hardowner likes this.
  18. slapdad jones

    slapdad jones Fapstronaut

  19. slapdad jones

    slapdad jones Fapstronaut

    We are hardwired, I understand that completely, but this is a big trigger for me. The truth is that there are many facets of a woman that I find appealing. It could be a voice or hair, certainly any number of areas of the body. Out in the world I fixate and then the fantasizing begins. I can say that this is normal to a degree and I dont consider myself a deviant in any way. But if it is left unchecked, I can only handle so much until it reaches a critical mass. Thats where porn comes in.
    I get to my room and then it is the first thing I do often times.
    The reality for me is that the novelty of porn is very close to the novelty of seeing 30 different very attractive women in the course of a day traveling across the country. The fantasies that takes shape in my mind can be like watching 30 different scenes. If I had a thing with only one type of woman then maybe it wouldnt be so bad. But I dont discriminate, I like em all...
    I have to keep my eyes and my attention on lockdown. It is very very hard for me.
    Master roshi said that he became very sad. Having something taken away from you that you use as a method of calming yourself or a crutch for stress or comfort is very real. When I deliberately look away, I feel a loss then, like being robbed of something and it is tangible. It is a very curious sensation. I am denying myself a potential fantasy and I can feel it physically. This is at the very the core of my addiction. This has been a good conversation and I appreciate all of your input.
    MasterRoshi and kropo82 like this.
  20. but what about your other eye. he will be able to look at girls buts with his other eye. THEN WHAT WILL HE DO. this comment is not helpful at all. i'm extremely offended.

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