How long have you been single?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by BeachDude1992, Sep 27, 2015.

  1. I want to state another side/still relative, but for perspective to those who have posting in this thread.
    What led me to my nofap journey was actually the realization that I was perpetually in relationships and looking at porn since I was able to drive a car. Point being that until I stopped PMO'ing and began looking at my life habits, I was never really a stable person on my own.
    I know how you feel @MightyKC when you think your feeling weirder and more detached, but the truth is we are actually beginning to FEEL fully for the first time not numbed out and acting impulsively. Which feels weird for us but is really us figuring out deeper selves out. I've spent only 3 months out of the last 2 years dating someone and it is hard, but until we kick this thing we're not really in a place to attract the right girl for us anyway. So what I'm saying is I think, those of you who are coming from a place of being single a long time maybe thus far in your life, your at an advantage.. Coming from where I am it's so much harder to stop porn when you've been co-dependent on relationships and sex like I was..
    That's how I see it at least
     
  2. sanpellegrino

    sanpellegrino Fapstronaut

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    It's been about 15 years since I was last in a proper relationship
     
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  3. KingRecover17

    KingRecover17 Fapstronaut

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    I have been single for way too long!!! LOL
     
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2015
    NoBrainer and BeachDude1992 like this.
  4. Hmmm...lets see..uhm.. 1 year ..2 year ..no no 3 year..no no , I've been single since the day i was born..:)
    No worries, I'm not in a hurry. I am more interested in investing my time and energy on myself and my dreams for quite a while. I guess it will happen on it's own..when i'm ready for it..it will come along..
    It's like Will Smith said:
    [​IMG]
     
  5. TemporaryUsername3892

    TemporaryUsername3892 Fapstronaut

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    being-single-on-valentines-day-20-times-in-a-row_o_152068.jpg
    @BeachDude1992
    I never tried to get into a relationship.. Even girls always hitting on me


    My life at glance

    10th standard = i was a fucking nerd , i don't want to talk to anybody, All iI do is studying. Scored 95% mark

    High school : iI became extremely antisocial & excessively started using porn. I started to hate people and try to avoid eye contact . Never try to talk to girl . I always try to hide inside my home & fapp. Grades became so bad

    College life : Results in high social anxiety . I can't talk to people & can't make eye contact even with males.
    Some of the girls are come and talk to me . But I can't make it contact don't how to behave to people's . So they never try to flirt with me
    At my 3rd year . I realised PMO along with social anxiety destroying my life.
    So iI quite PMO for ever .
    But still suffering from social anxiety . Now i have extreme fear of talking to girls. I don't even talk to my cousin sister's l:eek:. If a bunch of girls stair at me my body may start to shiver

    I have to do something about it :oops:
     
    BeachDude1992 likes this.
  6. We have the same behavioral patterns man. You're not alone. High school was pretty much the same as yours. But I did this NoFap thing in college. I am starting to be more focused on college. And my social anxiety is fading slowly. It's still a challenge to talk to women though. But I can do small talks with them. That's a badass gif from FIght CLub!
     
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  7. I like your perspective.
     
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  8. TemporaryUsername3892

    TemporaryUsername3892 Fapstronaut

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    @BeachDude1992

    I hate my life when junior girls @ college smiles @ me & I can't smile back & face them :oops:
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2015
    NoBrainer likes this.
  9. Man...they were giving you a hint of attraction. You could've talked to them. It's alright though...
     
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  10. TemporaryUsername3892

    TemporaryUsername3892 Fapstronaut

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  11. Never had a girlfriend and I'm 22. I mostly blame it on my PMO addiction, but I'm also not very sociable. I met a wonderful girl a couple years back and even began to think that she could be the one. However, back then I was knees deep in the swamp of PMO, which made me feel unworthy, depressed and super socially anxious. The girl was very interested in me, but I panicked and gave up before anything serious happened. That memory and what could've become of it haunts me to this day. However, ever since I stopped MOing in February 2015, I've been on more dates than ever before, and they've all been initiated by the girls except for 1(Which was a mistake made by drunk self. I can't trust myself anymore when I'm drunk). Before this, I'd been only on something like 2 dates. And currently I'm studying in a school where 90% of the students are girls so it's possible I won't be single by the end of the year. :p
     
    TemporaryUsername3892 likes this.
  12. Just curious..where are you from @good looking loser.
    BTW,nice signature.
     
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  13. TemporaryUsername3892

    TemporaryUsername3892 Fapstronaut

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    @ekoluomu
    90 % of girls :eek:

    It's scared shit out of me
     
  14. TemporaryUsername3892

    TemporaryUsername3892 Fapstronaut

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    @Ray Breslin
    FROM INDIA

    Dude i still remember one of your old profile post @ time I joined here
    "i want to be free , i want to me, I want to be as pure as first sunray of dawn & i will" . I liked it & that DP was also Gud . I still remember it :)
     
  15. Thanks man.
     
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  16. Odd Thomas

    Odd Thomas Fapstronaut

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    4 years! Like Powerstrip I spent a couple of years actively chasing or unable to get over the one that got away. Being a solitary sort by nature and having spent a lot of time healthily single but more unhealthily single, I think it all comes down to your state of mind and your relationships.

    *BEWARE* Unsolicited elaboration that resembles advice is down below!








    If you are doing meaningful work and are socially engaged with good people there is absolutely nothing that says you need to be in a romantic relationship - now or ever. With that said, health attracts health, so if no one has come right out and directly said this, based on my own experience I think the best way - no matter where your romantic goals fall on the spectrum from monk to married man - is to get your headspace right and to engage socially in nourishing ways that serve your dreams and community.
     
    fapequalsdeath likes this.
  17. Don Gately

    Don Gately Fapstronaut

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    I think for 4 years but I've had a couple "almost exclusively dating" things so it's a little hard to say. What's weird for me is having options, being worried, still feeling really alone, and trying to figure out whether I'll know when I meet the right one. I just have to keep believing it gets better though.
     
    BeachDude1992 likes this.
  18. yeah, on and off dating same here too. I noticed that when I fapped, i couldn't hold eye contact with a girl im dating. When I did noFap, I could hold eye contact better, but still have feelings of shame. I think it will get better.
     
    Don Gately likes this.
  19. Don Gately

    Don Gately Fapstronaut

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    This is an interesting point because while I believe that we all are deeply accountable for where we end up, I also believe our lives are formatted to teach certain lessons, and I've wondered if "solitary" types are more likely to end up with porn addictions. It's totally possible that the whole population is pretty similar though. Also it could be that more solitary types end up on NoFap because Internet forums in general attract that personality. Anyway just some musings.
     
    Odd Thomas likes this.
  20. TheRemdyIsMe

    TheRemdyIsMe Fapstronaut

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    Guys. I remember, when I was 23. I thought that I should be the beautiful garden, that attaches butterflies... but I realized something. Look up the red pill. Go into self improvement. I devoted myself to get in touch with girls, and at least ask some of them out. the 5th one said yes. We hooked up. it took me 1 months, and I was in my first relationship ever. If you can do nofap, you have the seed of the strength to reach out for girls too.

    I had 2 relationships so far. The last one ended after 2 years, when she simply... didn't love me anymore. it's been 4 months, and it hurts even more before I was single for a long time. It was the fact that pushed me into addiction to porn. Now it's time to get up.
     

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