How long should one practice "hardmode"?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Fenix Rising, Apr 9, 2019.

  1. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    That is incredible, very proud of you. I am six months in and frustrating but I am dealing with the fact that it will take up to year or more for me. I am working with doctors to rule out hormonal issues as well. I had prolactin problem which was caused by excessive masturbation. Too much prolactin makes the noodle limp and you have to stop or get on medication to get your function back then which I did. The body knows like you said and hard mode you think would make it easier to beat quicker but the body is just exhausted and needs to rest. The body is not made to be a running sex machine and I see it in most men that cannot reproduce with their wives. They have become IMPOTENT because of too much sex during marriage or before they were married and their semen is shot now. I would like to have children and marriage someday but I am realizing the fact and being comfortable that I may have destroyed those chances but science and medicine does surprise us every day now with what they can do. My anhedonia is finally getting better and brain fog has improved tremendously but that libido is taking a bit more time to come back. Hope you continue the streak sir!
     
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  2. Gota

    Gota Fapstronaut

    Can't agree more... My theory behind this is that when we watch porn or masturbate daily we set ourselves into permanent hypersexual condition. When we abstain from PMO we fell into depression and anhedonia because our brain used to live overflooded with dopamine for years and it takes time to adapt to new circumstances. During my streak I went through different stages of PAWS. The first few weeks I was feeling superpowers and high libido, later I went through 'oggling stage', after 6 months I felt into severe anxiety and depression, now I'm in a stage of deep anhedonia and libido loss, but I think it's all normal. What I realized during these months that for person like me porn can't be used in moderate, I must give it up completely. So I just quit and never looked back. There is some sadness because of this, but having no sexual life seems better alternative at the moment than living PMO life. And I hope that libido will come back with time, even if I have no idea when this will happen.
     
  3. Gota

    Gota Fapstronaut

    Yes, I PMO'ed from 14 years old (i'm 42 now) and was running adult websites for almost 15 years spending 8-12 hours per day watching porn. Not good at all. Only after I abstained from PMO I realized how much damage I did for myself and how porn poisons our souls. I think abtaining from PMO was the best decission I made in years, sometimes I still can't believe I did this... I always thought porn will be the last thing I could give up and I'll never be able to live without it as it was my biggest entertainment and thrill.
     
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  4. Freeddom_Taker

    Freeddom_Taker Fapstronaut

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    Well done man!
    I used to see some of your comments in some withdrawal or PAWS thread. Also you mentioned "oggling stage" what does that mean?
     
  5. Gota

    Gota Fapstronaut

    By "ogling stage" I mean ogling (or even chasing) women on the street, malls, etc. This didn't lasted long, maybe the first one or two months of abstinence.
     
  6. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    It’s unbelievable when they say how different we all are physically. I actually went through all that in hard mode immediately in the first three to four months. Only in the fifth month did I start feeling better and now in six month a bit more. Yeah, it’s reality that we have to do without it but happy because there are other things that make me so happy. The brain has to normalize and it takes time but we will all heal.

    Try some herbal supplements if possible that can help if you are interested. I have had an acupuncturist for years now since I slipped discs in my neck. You know I actually think it was my fault as well because of PMO I found out over six years ago I had disc degeneration in my neck. I was lifting heavy back then and not so much PMO them either but most likely didn’t help it either. Anyway, acupuncturist recommended a supplement for vitality and adrenal gland as well. Need to use it for three months before you can feel better though.
     
  7. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    I have been on hard-mode for over 400 days now and I don't regret it one second. It has been the best 400 days in my life and you will truly take your life to a new level as long as you stay on top of good habits.
    The past year was well needed for me in order to reboot my previously PMO-damaged brain and the longer you stay on monk-mode the better for your healing.
    I feel like my cognitive functions, motivation, vision, drive and positive force have been revived and been getting me off the complain-train as well. I have had a spiritual revival and sense of consciousness and self-control that 99% of people today lack.
    These days, I feel like there is almost nothing that I cannot do so my advice is to stay on the hard-mode train for at least a year and wonders will happen in your life!!
     
  8. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your post. This was very inspirational. I might just do that. I can see myself going a whole year. Which good habits did you develop during monk-mode?
     
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  9. chiyu

    chiyu Fapstronaut

    I think I'm in the same boat. Recently relapsed after 122 days monk mode. Was making alot of progress, but when I slipped the chaser effect led me right into a bad couple weeks of binges. For me, after all these years of escalating addiction, I see it's kind of an all-or-nothing proposition. Once I open the floodgate to P, I can't seem to control it. I know this now, at a deep level, and have come to accept it. I hope this honesty will help me manage it going forward. My next goal is to shoot for 180 days. Good luck with however you approach your recovery buddy.
     
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  10. BreakingShadows

    BreakingShadows Fapstronaut

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    122 days of monk mode is such a win, congrats on that! Sorry for your relapse too, that's exactly how it goes for me as well. Having lots of success only to loose all control after just one slip really sucks. I totally agree with the all or nothing mentality. It seems like it's the only real way out. Setting a goal is good, but I think it's necessary to extend one's success past that "end point". My goal is no PMO for as long as it takes to reboot and then absolutely no P(M) indefinitely. Good luck on your 180 days!
     
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  11. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Is just M without P possible for you, without falling back into PMO habit? I apologize if this is too personal question, but I have very similar problem, one MO slip with or without P developing into months of binges after being up to 6 months in monk mode. That's why I'm thinking of giving up M for good.
     
  12. chiyu

    chiyu Fapstronaut

    No worries man, it's a good question. For me, fantasizing is such a part of it, that w/o the P to help with that I probably wouldn't bother with doing the M. Which would mean on a practical level I probably have to give up M as well, but that's pretty tough given that I've been single a long time and may remain so. I wish I had a better answer for both of us.
     
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  13. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    I believe this is how most successful men in business do it. Most other guys are concerned about sex, partying, drugs, etc. They end up getting a job, family, etc. and continue to indulge in sex before marriage, during for children and just never save that energy to do something with their careers. A lot of rich and successful people out that career priority first and then get the family in place but definitely control themselves but though..
     
  14. Freeddom_Taker

    Freeddom_Taker Fapstronaut

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    To tell you man I used to be very curious about sexual related things in puberty and teenage years. Hence why my porn addiction in my 20's(tried to quit but hard). Due to pmo withdrawals and relapses side effects I couldn't go to parties and strip clubs which I used to do a lot in my early 20's before the addiction. Now close to 30, i still have an hunger for parties. Before taking the reboot very serious, I used to have some good days with some streaks and thought I would go back to the same lifestyle with minor relapses. Wrong, overtime brain and body couldn't support anymore so I had to do hardmode. With withdrawals and PAWS, they got me humble in a way but still seem to crave for parties but not strip clubs anymore.
     
  15. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    I’ve done multiple hard mode cycles and have no libido left at all.
     
  16. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    That is absolutely true mate! In order to focus on your future career path, accumulating big resources (i.e. wealth but also useful knowledge), and grow spiritually as well, it is absolutely crucial that you have a set and clear life-goal, strong desire to achieve it, persistence, purpose and direction in life if you want to acquire these. It is impossible to acquire all of the above if sex and sexual activities is even in your top-10 list of priorities in life.

    I have recently read the best and most useful self-help book in my life so far ("Think and Grow rich" by Napoleon Hill) and he mentions in one chapter that in order to be wealthy, prosperous, and successful in your chosen career path, one crucial component is to not indulge in sex, sexual activities and sexual urges. Simply because that incredibly strong and powerful sexual energy contained within you can be transmuted into much more productive activities and habits that are eventually gonna make you take action.
    I have plenty of friends myself who (back in the college-days) indulged in various sexual activities, had no goals or purposes in life (they just floated along) and therefore procrastinated and never took action. Most of them have still not moved forward a whole lot in life and still wonder (every time I see them at a reunion) how I can seem to be so sharp, healthy-looking, fit, well-rounded and well-dressed.
    That is (partially) due to my highly developed ability to control my urges whenever they arise!!
     
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  17. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Getting wealthy is so overrated in our Western culture. Capital will not bring you happiness. I used to work as actuary and risk assessment manager for post insurers/banks. I was miserable most of the time. Sure you can afford big house, drive AMG, be credit free, but at what cost? Being hamster on the wheel for corp capital, working, wearing social masks and playing real life RPG with and against shallow people you despise 24/7. Is it worth it? Well, when I started my financial career I said hell yeah, 15 years later I say F... NO. I send my career to hell by telling CEO board meeting to go F... themselves 4 years ago. Do I regret it? Not even a bit, well maybe I miss company's parties :) If your priority in life is just getting rich without loving your work and to look successful in the eyes of others, think again. It's the biggest fraud capitalism has ever invented to keep crowds on the hamster wheel preventing them from questioning the system itself and thinking about the true meaning of life, while they suck life out of them in exchange for black numbers on their credit cards. Material things won't bring you happiness, no matter how much you own.

    The story of a rodent's unrelenting quest for happiness and fulfillment by Steve Cutts:
     
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  18. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    This is what I plan on doing more of now. I have friends that indulged and just got nowhere in their career. One got a random girl knocked up at 21 and had to get married. That’s life now for him the past 20 some years now. His brother the same. Had a chance to open up his own pizza place but indulgences won him over.

    It’s funny I actually came across a supplier I work with at my job. We were discussing family, kids and when to do everything . He ends up telling me the VP of his area staffing company just had his first kid at .... 60!? Yes, that is what he said. You think how a 60 year old man gets a ean that young and have a kid. Sounds like he worked his ass off and became VP and made a crap load of money which works in his favor. I was actually introduced to this guy a couple of years ago and he dressed like a don and is in pretty good shape for his age too.

    All fathers should be telling their sons this to help them be the best in their life. I always resented my Dad sometimes not encouraging dating young and stuff like that but now Insee what he meant
     
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  19. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    I understand Felix but we are tying what fapping does to a man into their drive to do anything in life. I’m sure you noticed friends or acquaintances that indulged in sex, drugs, masturbation, etc . Destroyed their dreams. Capital world is not fore everyone and I hear that but others have a drive to go as far as possible, in any career path in life. Draining yourself of your energy, essence, is reason I see now why I didn’t follow through on some of my goals in life. Gonna fits that now as soon as possible ..
     
  20. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    My father was only 28 years old and thus quite young (in today's standards) when I was born and that definitely didn't play to his advantage. He wasn't mature or life-experienced enough to have developed that strong, patient, decisive and productive character that most successful men build up with age and the side-effects from that were many during my childhood and adolescent years. But, he couldn't wait for too long either since my mother was three years older than him at the time.
    For my own part, I don't worry at all, despite being almost 31, single and childless since I am laying the foundation for my dream-life that my former team-mates (who indulged in sexual activities, bullshitted around and settled early) can only dream about. If you are a man, you have a biological clock that ticks very slowly and if you take care of yourself and play your cards right in your late 20's and early 30's, you will age like a fine wine and have almost set the stage for a successful life.
     
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