How long will it take me to recover?

facs · Nov 14, 2019

I've been PMO since the beginning of high school (12 y/o), never had real sexual encounters and lost my virginity with a prostitute at 17 y/o (terrible experience and couldn't get an erection). After that I only had one sexual encounter with another prostitute and with a soft erection.

Now that I'm 21 I've been with my girlfriend (first girl to have sex with that I wasn't paying for) for 6 months and the 2-3 first months were terrible. The first month I couldn't get an erection at all but I think it was mostly because of sex anxiety problems. I went to the doctor and my testosterone levels were ok so the doctor gave me the blue pill to gain confidence in sex.

The curious thing is that even with the pills it was hard for me to got sexual aroused and I only used them 2 or 3 times.

The next two months I could barely have a 50% erection but at this time I never heard of PIED. It was 3 months ago I found about death-grip and stopped masturbating but relapsed many many times. By that time let's say I got 60-70% erections the half of the times we started a sexual encounter but didn't last very long and the other half of the times I wasn't aroused enough to have sex. I discovered PIED like 2 weeks ago and finally know what was wrong with me so I stoped PMO immediately. By now I can get a decent erection but only with a specific sex position, this is, the girl lying face down and myself on top (I think because this gives my penis a more friction situation and I get more excited as the sex goes on).

With positions like the missionary and similar ones I start with a good erection but it gets lost after a few minutes, and if she gets on top of me I don't get hard at all and lose my arousal.

It's been 11 days without porn and masturbation at all but I keep having sex with my girlfriend almost every day. How long will it take me to recover and be able to have sex in any position (it's boring only being able to get hard on the same one every time) and feel oral sex like it's suposed to feel.

PD: I must confess that my porn habits were bad like, masturbating every day, some days two times and my porn history was escalating to more hardcore genres.

Deleted Account · Nov 14, 2019

Hello and welcome!

We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!

JamesTheSquirrel · Nov 15, 2019

facs said: ↑

I've been PMO since the beginning of high school (12 y/o), never had real sexual encounters and lost my virginity with a prostitute at 17 y/o (terrible experience and couldn't get an erection). After that I only had one sexual encounter with another prostitute and with a soft erection.

Now that I'm 21 I've been with my girlfriend (first girl to have sex with that I wasn't paying for) for 6 months and the 2-3 first months were terrible. The first month I couldn't get an erection at all but I think it was mostly because of sex anxiety problems. I went to the doctor and my testosterone levels were ok so the doctor gave me the blue pill to gain confidence in sex.

The curious thing is that even with the pills it was hard for me to got sexual aroused and I only used them 2 or 3 times.

The next two months I could barely have a 50% erection but at this time I never heard of PIED. It was 3 months ago I found about death-grip and stopped masturbating but relapsed many many times. By that time let's say I got 60-70% erections the half of the times we started a sexual encounter but didn't last very long and the other half of the times I wasn't aroused enough to have sex. I discovered PIED like 2 weeks ago and finally know what was wrong with me so I stoped PMO immediately. By now I can get a decent erection but only with a specific sex position, this is, the girl lying face down and myself on top (I think because this gives my penis a more friction situation and I get more excited as the sex goes on).

With positions like the missionary and similar ones I start with a good erection but it gets lost after a few minutes, and if she gets on top of me I don't get hard at all and lose my arousal.

It's been 11 days without porn and masturbation at all but I keep having sex with my girlfriend almost every day. How long will it take me to recover and be able to have sex in any position (it's boring only being able to get hard on the same one every time) and feel oral sex like it's suposed to feel.

PD: I must confess that my porn habits were bad like, masturbating every day, some days two times and my porn history was escalating to more hardcore genres.
Click to expand...

Hi facs, welcome to the forum. It's great that you've realised the cause of your problem and come here to try and fix it. Thats one of the most significant steps in overcoming PA.

Congrats on getting to 11 days PM. That's good progress. It takes different amounts of time for different people to start recovering from this. The standard goal that most people aim for is 90 days but in some cases it can take longer. One thing I would be careful of is training yourself to only be able to perform sex in one position, I would definitely consider spending some time not having sex. Talk to your girlfriend about that, you can still be intimate together but take the focus away from your performance and ability to O.

I've also had issues with PIED. When I first met my girlfriend (now wife) I couldn't O from sex and throughout our relationship it was incredibly hit and miss. I suffered from lack of sensitivity and as things got worse my erections started to get less hard as well. I did a month hard mode (no PMO) and my arousal, number of erections and sensitivity massively increased. I'm nearly two months in now on soft mode (just no PM) and I'm struggling a bit with erections at times but my sensitivity is really high and I have no issues achieving O from sex.

I hope that helps. I'd recommend keeping a journal of your progress on here. It really helps me get my thoughts down and see how things are changing over time. Read some other people's journals and posts as well and comment on them. The more active you are on here the more support you will get back.

Good luck with your journey! You can beat this

facs · Nov 15, 2019

JamesTheSquirrel said: ↑

Hi facs, welcome to the forum. It's great that you've realised the cause of your problem and come here to try and fix it. Thats one of the most significant steps in overcoming PA.

Congrats on getting to 11 days PM. That's good progress. It takes different amounts of time for different people to start recovering from this. The standard goal that most people aim for is 90 days but in some cases it can take longer. One thing I would be careful of is training yourself to only be able to perform sex in one position, I would definitely consider spending some time not having sex. Talk to your girlfriend about that, you can still be intimate together but take the focus away from your performance and ability to O.

I've also had issues with PIED. When I first met my girlfriend (now wife) I couldn't O from sex and throughout our relationship it was incredibly hit and miss. I suffered from lack of sensitivity and as things got worse my erections started to get less hard as well. I did a month hard mode (no PMO) and my arousal, number of erections and sensitivity massively increased. I'm nearly two months in now on soft mode (just no PM) and I'm struggling a bit with erections at times but my sensitivity is really high and I have no issues achieving O from sex.

I hope that helps. I'd recommend keeping a journal of your progress on here. It really helps me get my thoughts down and see how things are changing over time. Read some other people's journals and posts as well and comment on them. The more active you are on here the more support you will get back.

Good luck with your journey! You can beat this
Click to expand...

Thanks dude, I don't think my gf will agree to abstain that long, but maybe I can do some little hard-mode breaks (like 1 week or so a month with no PMO) and then keep with the soft-mode like you did.

Can I ask you about the oral sex? Were you able to feel enough at the beginning and if so, how did it change after the soft-mode?

I'm really hopeful as days go by and set my goal to the 90 days, even though I don't think I will ever relapse on porn.

JamesTheSquirrel · Nov 16, 2019

facs said: ↑

Thanks dude, I don't think my gf will agree to abstain that long, but maybe I can do some little hard-mode breaks (like 1 week or so a month with no PMO) and then keep with the soft-mode like you did.

Can I ask you about the oral sex? Were you able to feel enough at the beginning and if so, how did it change after the soft-mode?

I'm really hopeful as days go by and set my goal to the 90 days, even though I don't think I will ever relapse on porn.
Click to expand...

One thing you could try is Karezza which is the idea of sex without male O. The idea is that you stop focusing on the end and just enjoy the journey, take things slow and focus on your partners pleasure. I've tried it a few times - it can be a little frustrating but most of the time I still feel satisfied.

Throughout my relationship I never enjoyed oral sex. I think that was primarily due to death grip M leading to a lack of sensitivity. During my NoFap journey my wife performed oral sex on me and everything was incredibly sensitive. I was very hard through out and had to try hard to stop myself from reaching O as I was on hard mode at the time. This was after around a month of hard mode, sensitivity recovers quickly when you aren't M'ing all the time!

Deleted Account · May 29, 2020

Hi @facs, all the best to you! If you want to join 'The Matrix' challenge click here> 'The Matrix'

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