How set the correct mentality?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by RamboErecto, Aug 28, 2019.

  1. RamboErecto

    RamboErecto Fapstronaut

    So, im 30 y/o and I abused during years. Im at least a year on NoFap and working on my masturbation abuse.

    So normally I will relapse multiple times, and even go desinterested on NoFap for weeks, until I can get the correct mindset again.

    And when this happen I can go for days and days without M (I used to masturbate every single day in my life). Even if I decide to edge, then I close the browser and I dont do it.

    But how is that sometimes I cant stop, and I can handle ever 12 hours without do it again.

    So im not sure if this is a Libido thing, but Im not sure how to addopt the correct mentality
    Astro77 and Darren hutto like this.
  2. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

    Here are some suggestions that helped me:

    1. Find a reason why you wanna quit, write it on a paper and put it on the place where you see it every day… It must be strong enough it keeps you going when shit hits the fan.
    2. Don't focus on abstention alone. Set short, medium and longer term goals you'd like to achieve and focus your attention and action to them to avoid ego fatigue
    3. Find out what led you to PMO addiction and address it. If you can't identify underlying issue, don't be afraid to seek professional help.
    4. Embrace the pain in advance. Any change is uncomfortable, but getting rid of addiction means much higher level of discomfort as you'll have to battle with physiological (dopamine deficiency) as psychological effects on your mind and body. It gets better, but it will take time.
    5. Look at slips and relapses as a part of recovery process. Pick yourself up, learn from them and continue on your recovery path immediately. As long as you keep trying, you're on the right path. Shame and guilt have no place in your recovery. Look at slips and relapses as a lessons learned. Ask your self what caused you to slip, can I do something to prevent it from happening the next time.
    6. Have an emergency plan in case of a slip. Mine looks like this -> Jul 16, 2019

    7. Write a recovery journal

    Maybe some advice of this man can help you. He's been addicted to whatever you can imagine for 35 years and now he's addiction free for 3 years and is doing better then ever. He has more than 200 recovery videos on his YT channel. If you watch one every day you will be out of addiction rabbit hole by the time you see all his videos and they are truly worth watching even if you're not addicted:

    7 Principles for Permanent Addictions Free Life and Happiness:

    1. Gratitude (write a gratitude list and read it every morning)
    2. Connection (spirituality, something greater than ourselves, God, Taoism - The Way, touch with nature...)
    3. Goals (setting daily, weekly and longer term goals, giving back)
    4 Mindfulness and mindset (train your mind to live in a present moment, discipline, patience- daily work on yourself, pushing yourself - 5 minutes rule, determination-never give up, willpower -> achieved through meditation at least 10 min a day)
    5. Forgiveness and kindness ((a)Forgive-> you have to lose resentment, anger, bitterness and (b) self-forgiveness -> you need to learn to like yourself! Be kind to others)
    6. Diet (1st cut out processed food - anything in a packet and sugar, 3-4L hydration)
    7. Exercise at least 20 minutes walking outside a day


    Last edited: Aug 28, 2019
  3. Astro77

    Astro77 Fapstronaut

    Edging is going to slow down your results from nofap. I would make sure to block everything online that could trigger you to a relapse whilst you have the good mindest. Then hopefully you will be reminded of why you blocked these websites and you will be more motivated to not masturbate, but do something else that is healthier.

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