How should i behave during my rebooting

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Huntilt, Dec 26, 2015.

  1. Huntilt

    Huntilt Fapstronaut

    Hi Fellow,

    I'm on my early process of my rebooting after a big relapse (i held 4 months PMO free then slipped back into PMO) I have a PIED which i'm sick with and defintely want to cure now.
    Since i start back to stop pmo, i have mainly all my morning Woods and had 2 wet dreams during that week. I still have fetish fantaisies i tried to fight with..
    My main questions is how should be my behaviour with girls i want to date. I met a great girl very nice and cute and i know she want to go Out with me. Last night we been on a date and had a kiss but i dont really know if for my rebooting its helping to dating people and try having sex with.i dont want to fuck up again with another girl i like so i tried to avoid asking her to come at mine for a movie for example or dinner as i dont want i have an ed again if thing would heating up.. I dont want to scared her if i said i cant have sex with her because i had overmasturbated in extrem porn when i had 15... So any recommandation are more than welcome :(
    I ask her to go to the Cinema tomorrow night ...
    Thank you and wish you a wonderful year
  2. Just behave like an alpha. Or whatever they call it.
    You see, many people came here, not because of problem with ejaculating or getting orgasm, but with being not sociable, awkward or had this feeling that somethign is wrong here. Our actions lead to living normal life. According to my lifestyle and my mind - going out, having fun on date and having sex is the best you can get on the weekend. It's time of your life. Use it. We are abstaining from pornography and masturbation, not from healthy sex life.
    You're going on dates? Great! If you just want to have sex with her - nothing less, nothing more - tell it. She's also human being and probably likes sex more than you.
    But if you want to create a relationship, don't rush things. Everything will come in time.
    Live your life.
  3. avatarivn

    avatarivn Fapstronaut

    As @LongWayHome suggests, live your life. About what to do, is up to you, although you might want to ask yourself if you want a relationship or one-night stand. I think that is an important difference because if you are just looking to calm the hornyness down instead or connecting (as in forming a good friendship), you are doing a disservice to both her and yourself.

    That being said, if you approach the dates with no hidden agenda (in general, "I am asking her out because I want sex" attitude) I think you are going the healthy path. In any case, best of luck for this 2016.
  4. Spirali

    Spirali Fapstronaut

    Nofap makes you calm and not care what other people think. One thing I've noticed about being hooked into PMO is that you try too hard to impress people, smile too much, and simply become obnoxious. When you're not trying too hard to impress her or be entertaining, she will doubt herself instead of you and she will be the one seeking approval. That's one big reason why nofap gives chick magnet benefits, but I suppose you can fake some of them if you try :p
  5. Huntilt

    Huntilt Fapstronaut

    Thanks guys, i'm not looking for a one night stand with her i kind of like her. We been to a restaurant tonight and then to the cinema. I took her hand during the movie and we kissed a bit until she back home.
    I havent fap since 10 days and it feel good to start a connection with someone nice who is real. I dont want to fucked up everything with her so i dont want to rush things so do her i guess. Unfortunately i still have some urge when i cross pretty girls in the street . I really want to fap right now but i will hold and im going to watch an episode of dardevil.. Well i'm really far by being cured...
    LongWayHome and Spirali like this.
  6. You don't want to fap. It's your bad habit. Just change it.
    Hope you will make great relationship. Think positively!
  7. travelling fapstronaut

    travelling fapstronaut Fapstronaut

    This is a good point, from my experience one night stands arent beneficial in the early days of your journey due to the pressure to "perform" well. A proper connection with someone your genuinely interested in is much better. Not just for the sex but for the connection, touching and cuddling in a non sexual way is crucial to your reboot, but that judt my opinion, others may disagree
    Rav70 likes this.
  8. Huntilt

    Huntilt Fapstronaut

    I guess i'm thinking too much about what would be my performance if i have sex with her.. In the other way we are not living in the same city and i'm leaving my home town after the nye. I still behave Will. NoFap since 2 weeks and no porn watched despite huge urge as last time .. I'm going to see her tomorrow night and i know there Will be connection hopefully..! It help a lot to feel we are not a jerk machine and i wish this could be a nice start of relationship.
  9. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

    Don't rush having sex. If you are too nervous you will get all in your head and it could be a disaster.
    If you like this girl, tell her. Tell her she means more to you than sex and you want to really get to know her. If things continue on that path you will in time hopefully form a deeper connection.
    Then you can think about sex.
    Take it slow Tiger!

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