How should I plan my day around my urges?

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by losingthebattle, Feb 16, 2021.

  1. losingthebattle

    losingthebattle Fapstronaut

    I feel the most urges at around 3PM
    I feel symptoms of neurosis (frustration, headaches, depression, anxiety) upon waking which lasts until 12PM
    I'm a dolphin sleep chronotype, meaning conversely, that I work the best from 9AM to 5PM
    The sheer amount of frustration and urges during this time makes it near impossible to get any work done and I find myself frequently procrastinating
    After 5PM, my active attention wanes and I find it impossible to find the motivation for my studies
    I want to study for 8 hours a day in addition to balancing out my hobbies (I'm learning how to speak Hindi and I also like making YouTube videos)
    As you can see, my hobbies and interests as well as my studying brings me online most of the time *
    Making too many rules for myself pisses me off and I've relapsed in the past because of putting 3PM regulations upon myself
    If I let things continue the way they are, I could continue to relapse throughout the Spring until I find myself having to catch up at the last moment before Summer starts
    I've even been told that I may have to stay behind a year, which will effect my chances of going to University

    *I'm currently in a national lockdown meaning that all of my lessons are online. A lot of other students skip them and I do sometimes because of how behind I am on work (because of relapsing). There have been times where I've even skipped my studies to relapse.
  2. don0529

    don0529 Fapstronaut

    it sounds like the stress in your life (perhaps from having your plate too full) is causing and exacerbating the sexual urges.
    There can never be just 1 ingredient that makes a satisfying life (for example, conserving the sexual energy). It has to be full spectrum-- diet, conserving the semen, simplify ones life, lower the stress in ones life, have a sadhana (spiritual practice) etc. And they all potentiate and work synergistically with each other and thus make it more easy.
    Most people have their aspirations backwards- they want to get their outer life successful and then dedicate time to balance their inner life. But the truth is that once you are stable and balanced inside then the outer life cant help but follow suit.
    Having a so called "successful" outer life first will never guarantee one inner contentment. It has nothing to do with it. But being content inside will definitely attract a meaningful and satisfying outer expression (by law of magnetism).
    You said , "There have been times where I've even skipped my studies to relapse."
    I would instead skip studies to contemplate and be mentally empty..:)
  3. losingthebattle

    losingthebattle Fapstronaut

    I've been spending a lot of time online today scrolling the internet and listening to music. All of my work is online, but I never anticipated this type of procrastination
  4. Redemptionisrequired

    Redemptionisrequired Fapstronaut


    Look up urge surfing on google. I'd also highly suggest you pick up meditation, if you haven't already. If you can afford it, Headspace is a wonderful app. Develop a mantra(does not have to be spiritual), just something you repeat when a fantasy surfaces in your mind. Kill on command whenever a fantasy pops into your mind, the very second it shows up.

    For the physical sensations and the anxiety/depression, you need to just sit with and accept the feeling. I know its sounds like a cope out, but this has been key for me. When you let yourself feel these emotions, without holding on to them, you can truly start moving forward. This is why I suggested meditation.

    Aside from that, given you're in lockdown, try to get some sun from the window, if possible daily (better yet if you can step outside in your backyard etc, do it). Exercise: yoga, walking, weightlifting. All this without ego, do it at your own pace.

    It was mentioned that you seem to have a lot on your plate, just make sure you have an outlet to just relax and get off the computer.

    Hope that helps, good luck on your journey brother!

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