How should it feel to talk to a girl you like?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by fellowBrother, Aug 28, 2019.

How were your conversations with attractive girls/current girlfriends?

  1. Tons of anxiety but it worked out anyway

    5 vote(s)
  2. No anxiety

    2 vote(s)
  3. Anxiety/horniness

    5 vote(s)
  1. fellowBrother

    fellowBrother Fapstronaut

    Whats up fellas, just a quick question that is kinda dumb but I really need an answer. Since I've been hooked on masturbation, porn, and just lust in general since age 10, I honestly can't count many times I have had a great conversation with a girl without terrible anxiety and just an overwhelming need to leave the situation. I'm finding now that I am 120+ days in to nofap(I got head 2 weeks ago, but no porn or masturbation), I seek girls out but I just want them for sex. I'm still pretty anxious but the need to release forces me to talk to them. Most of the conversations are awkward and short and I get their number but they dont answer. Here's my question: For those of you in the past who have successfully had girlfriends or just talked to a girl you found beautiful, how were your conversations? Were they calm and anxiety-less? I just feel like i've never had a genuine conversation with a girl without the feeling of anxiety. It's like in the back of my mind i'm constantly thinking things like "man we might have sex!" or "man id love to do her". And those thoughts are hard to control and make me feel nervous.
    need4realchg likes this.
  2. If you feel like it: meditate and visualize you having a conversation with a girl you find attractive. My last experience talking to a lady i wanted to get laid with end up like this:

    - Hey, wanna go out today?
    - hm, yes... i guess, she replied
    - Ok, i'll pick you up at ten

    We went to a bar, at the middle of the date i said

    - Come here, i wanna kiss ya

    and she did come over and i did kissed her. And that was it.

    I think that if you manage to have a completely "normal" conversation with someone that you wanna get laid and at some turning points you take action like "hey, lets go my place have some fun" etc, things naturally work out.
    fellowBrother and need4realchg like this.
  3. MuscularSherlockHolmes

    MuscularSherlockHolmes Fapstronaut

    You feel comfortable sometimes, sometimes you panic, and sometimes dare I say, you feel a bit overconfident as well. Usually it's a mixture of different states. Can't exactly say how it is in concrete form.
  4. primaljade

    primaljade Fapstronaut

    I feel anxious when approaching and tiny first bit of interacting, but quickly get comfortable/not-awkward once there's a back-n-forth exchange. Even when things go well and get a number, the girls usually don't respond (either they changed their mind, were faking interest, have boyfriends/husbands, think you're too good for them, etc). Good PUA's have verified this, it's a normal thing so roll with it.

    I'd say that first pang of anxiety might always be there, but the more you interact with super hot women (good ones and BAD ones), the more normal you'll feel since it just isn't a big deal anymore.
  5. Der Drachenkönig

    Der Drachenkönig Fapstronaut

    From my experience i can tell, it's lots of anxiety at first but then it dies out once you get comfortable interacting with the girl. In the past the anxiety i speak of came in unimaginable levels and had no confidence, which led to me not being able to even approach the girl of my interest out of fear for rejection, which is of course a risk one must take in these cases. However the more you decide to take said risk, the more confident you get and anxiety is significantly reduced. The last time i talked to a girl i liked was last year, although conversation did not go so well as our affinity level in the end was zero. What i mean is even with failure one can learn many things here, one of them seeing girls as human beings, which leads to less anxiety and confidence and being more comfortable with the possibility of rejection, seeing is as not the end of the world.
    fellowBrother likes this.
  6. fellowBrother

    fellowBrother Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the replies gentlemen. You guys made me feel a lot better. I'll be cold approaching girls this week. The goal is long term girlfriend.
  7. Anubis Rises

    Anubis Rises Fapstronaut

    My Journal
    it depends,,, are you still in school is your still in school theres not much too talk about on both sides its mostly just a hang out phase, ask ker to hang out somewheres an chill, its ok to be quiet an have awkward silences , i was quiet as hell in school years, but i asked if i can walk girls home, or we ride on atv, walk around the lake,

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