How the hell do you quit pmo!!?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Papasmurf22, May 18, 2015.

  1. Papasmurf22

    Papasmurf22 Fapstronaut

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    No pmo seems nearly impossible. You guys that go the whole 3 months and above my hat is off to you, I can never make it past 30 days and it's so frustrating. I've always watched porn as a young kid but masturbation I didn't start till years later... With just the porn I guess I was ok but when the masturbation started everything went downhill. I use to be a pretty cool guy and I never really had problems getting girls to like me, but once I started the porn and maturbation thing my relationship with not only girls but everyone around me changed for the worse .. I hate the feeling I feel like a virus, I feel empty, and pathetic and worst of all I feel like idk who I am.
     
  2. Either treat it as an addiction, and/or, if you like spiritual models: a psychic parasite.
    The thing about quitting this is that there is a lot to this.
    At the core is that you can't trust your own mind.... this is what makes it an addiction... so first thing to do is read up on 12 step programs, it doesn't even matter if they are sex-addict 12 steps, but you can def find some good books specifically on that topic too.
    You have to become more aware that means: realizing when you are not aware, if any of your thoughts include an element of past or future or fantasy.... then you are not aware... not in the present.... and you are at the mercy of your mind.

    Now one thing to learn is that imagination which so often is our enemy, can also be our friend:

    two things to yank you into awareness (= out of an urge):
    1. Breath consciously and slowly, focus all your attention on the breath, use your imagination to become more aware of, more conscious of, the breathing (literally come up with some visualization of the air as it moves in and out of your lungs, imagine the air in the room, slowly moving as you inhale and exhale).
    2. If your mind is in the future, past, or setting you up with emotional fantasies (sex and anger are common for me) then ask yourself: "what is wrong with this moment right now? This very moment?" and suddenly you'll notice that your mind has been making your situation unbearable but that the actual situation is just fine. You can totally get through it... this you extend to the "one day at a time" approach.
    some other things that for me are just like succumbing to PMO that are really worth the mental discipline. You do these things not just because they are good for your body, but also to detach and learn to observe your weak weaseling mind trying to trick you into doing things you do not want
    1. Improve your diet, eat more healthy: observe your mind trying to get you to just binge / indulge in something
    2. Physical exercise: especially pushing through the pain a little... again great practice... your PMO-frame and mind with bitch and scream, let it, press on.
    3. Cold showers: Your mind will tell you will die instantly if you do not jump out. Ignore it. Try and be calm as the freezing water runs over your head and down your neck. Afterwards I feel great. Also the intensity of this is beyond any PMO urge. If you get used to calming your mind in a cold shower you can probably resist any PMO urge.
    Finally: If you made it past 4 weeks you are likely almost there. We are all different of course so I can;t be sure is the same for you as for me. But for me there were several barriers that are hard to break through. At 1 day, 3 day, 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks and 30 days. But most guys will tell you that after that you have fought the hardest fight. You will not get urges that are stronger than what you have already conquered. And things will get easier. The main issue after the 30 days seems to be overconfidence. Slipping on the mental discipline, thinking you are in the clear, and being taken out by a relatively minor urge.

    Also take a look at this:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 19, 2015
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  3. ruso

    ruso Fapstronaut

    I agree with what was said above. In addition keep a consistent journal OR find a accountability partner. And really important: Listen to the advice that many of our members eloquently write. Because otherwise you will always be in square one.
     
  4. Papasmurf22

    Papasmurf22 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys appreciate the feedback. I haven't really been on here lately but I am on day 23 of no m but I can't lie I have watched p at least twice in between that time period. I know for some that would mean starting all over but for me personally it means I'm getting better and like the video says, know your weaknesses and get to know the gremlin... And I've realized that my biggest problem wasn't the m but was the porn, so I'm really making an effort now to keep myself away from porn or anything that would spark it. All in all I'm feeling better so the advice from you guys and the whole community in general is working so thank you. Can't wait till day 30!! Taking it one day at a time till I finally hit 90. Again thanks.
     
  5. LiftHeavy

    LiftHeavy Fapstronaut

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    If you can pass 30 days, you can pass 3 months also dude! Good luck! Motivate yourself with the precious benefits that will come with the journey
     
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  6. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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  7. jazzphanatic

    jazzphanatic Fapstronaut

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    Hey Papasmurf22!

    Congratulations on your progress bro! Keep hanging in there! I also wanted to point out that this journey that we're going through is a, wait for it...PROCESS!!! So what, in the past you've only gotten to 30 days! So freaking what! I know that it is frustrating to not go longer, but sometimes we have to take it one day at a time. Instead of focusing on getting through a certain amount of days, try not counting days and just being in the process. The truth of the matter is PMO may always be something that is a struggle for some of us, but as long as we continue to have the determination to put an end to it, we've already succeeded! The best of luck to us all!
     
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  8. tomtom

    tomtom Fapstronaut

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    I took a more pragmatic approach: I figured out the things that worked as triggers for me and actively avoided those for the first month or two, then it got easier.

    I may have the benefit of having a wife and I can get actual sex every now and then, usually not as often as I would like. But I'm sure it has helped with the need to O every now and then.
     
  9. Sal

    Sal New Fapstronaut

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    Start by holding a positive mental attitude aka "mindset".

    Find excitement in your life.
     
  10. Waldo101

    Waldo101 Fapstronaut

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    Good advice guys. Well it is possible to do away with PMO. I mean in human history, computers did not exist so guys had to use their own imagination with no computers.

    But that being said, hang in there brotha. It's not easy.
     
  11. watersand

    watersand Fapstronaut

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    Say you go through 30-45 days... after this point, you will have a different perspective.
    But, Say you relapse..
    The next time is easier.. you know what to expect .. difficult periods... and you will focus better.
    Take it in increments if need be..
     
  12. ds112358

    ds112358 Fapstronaut

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    Get educated regarding the addiction. That is key.

    From your post, I get that you think masturbation is a bigger problem than porn. But no, masturbation isn't anyone's problem here. Yes, orgasm can be addictive, but if it were the cause of addiction, then the whole world would consist of only addicts. You don't crave orgasm, you crave the 'high' you get. Most common factors include porn and fantasy, but there may be many others. Orgasm is secondary because it is the only 'natural' part of the ritual.

    Also, start focusing on your life, man. Do you foresee a future life where everything is going well but also includes porn? Highly unlikely. Build your goals and achieve them. Leave addiction behind. Or rather, move towards your goals and you will move away from addiction as a by-product.

    I hope you find success soon.

    DS.
     
  13. FightingItRough

    FightingItRough Fapstronaut

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    Great tips and clip! Thx
     
  14. Papasmurf22

    Papasmurf22 Fapstronaut

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    Yea you're right, I found out I was more so addicted to porn then masturbation..i haven't masturbated for 38 days now which is my longest streak, and honestly I never even feel like masturbating at all. But throughout those 38 days Ive watched porn about maybe 5 times. I'm getting better with dealing with both but it's been harder with porn. It's been a week sense I last watched it and I haven't really craved it at all sense. I do feel a lot better tho from where I use to be but some days are better then others... The best way I would describe it is that I'm a computer, and some days I feel like I'm connected to a high speed internet, but then other days I feel like I'm running on aol or some slow ass Wi-Fi network... And that lately has been the hardest thing is those days where you just feel disconnected. I don't understand how that works where I could be alive and great one day then down and sluggish the next???
     

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