sohardrn
Fapstronaut
30 days into nofap and I’m going to start pursuing girls with more intention and actually asking them out, but I struggle to build any sort of repertoire or get a moment alone with them.
I’m not new to martial arts, but I’m new to this martial arts club and this specific art. It’s a club at my university.
The guys get along with me. But I haven’t gotten alone time with any of the girls. The new girls come in with a girl friend so they already have someone to partner up with for drills. The experienced girls are officers and usually leading the practice sessions or some other thing with more experienced students.
In a room of like 30 people there’s usually only one or two on their own girls that I can MAYBE partner up with for drills, but it’s really hard to be next to them at just the right time so I never get a chance.
There’s a pool party with pizza today. I’m gonna try and up my energy by hanging with my boys at the club a little bit, then I’m gonna try and get to know the girls. I have the confidence to approach and start a conversation, ut goddammit. I’m just struggling a bit here. I don’t want to go in with the mindset of “this is my only chance.” Because it’s not. There will be other socials throughout the semester. And I should get a chance to partner with these girls in class again.
I guess all I can really do is take more initiative. When I have time alone with a girl I should ask her questions to learn about her, lean into the emotional aspect of how they feel about things, and instead of being slow and trying to save the “ask” for the next conversation or over the phone, I need to ask her if she wants to get boba after class or on the weekend.
Ask questions, lean into the emotional side, if I’m interested say “you wanna get boba after class?” without hesitation. I can take a no. I can take rejection. I cannot take thinking about a girl all day having not even asked her out.
Happy to read any advice
I’m not new to martial arts, but I’m new to this martial arts club and this specific art. It’s a club at my university.
The guys get along with me. But I haven’t gotten alone time with any of the girls. The new girls come in with a girl friend so they already have someone to partner up with for drills. The experienced girls are officers and usually leading the practice sessions or some other thing with more experienced students.
In a room of like 30 people there’s usually only one or two on their own girls that I can MAYBE partner up with for drills, but it’s really hard to be next to them at just the right time so I never get a chance.
There’s a pool party with pizza today. I’m gonna try and up my energy by hanging with my boys at the club a little bit, then I’m gonna try and get to know the girls. I have the confidence to approach and start a conversation, ut goddammit. I’m just struggling a bit here. I don’t want to go in with the mindset of “this is my only chance.” Because it’s not. There will be other socials throughout the semester. And I should get a chance to partner with these girls in class again.
I guess all I can really do is take more initiative. When I have time alone with a girl I should ask her questions to learn about her, lean into the emotional aspect of how they feel about things, and instead of being slow and trying to save the “ask” for the next conversation or over the phone, I need to ask her if she wants to get boba after class or on the weekend.
Ask questions, lean into the emotional side, if I’m interested say “you wanna get boba after class?” without hesitation. I can take a no. I can take rejection. I cannot take thinking about a girl all day having not even asked her out.
Happy to read any advice
