How to avoid masturbating when rebooting?

Brandon292

Brandon292

Fapstronaut
I've been PMO free for 2 weeks and today I had a relapse and M+O in the morning.

I started a 90 day reboot and feel like crap now for breaking my promise to myself after just a few days from starting my reboot.

I feel like this behavior is so ingrained that it's hard to break... I can avoid P for months and even years but when I don't have sex for a long time I find it hard not to M because I feel like there's a buildup of energy in my body that wants relief.

I am off P completely but still find it hard not to M+O especially since it's so easy to do it in the shower or when I'm alone.

I only slipped once and it was just a very short session but still sucks! back to day 0 tomorrow and again starting my 90 day reboot.

Any tips for keeping yourself from not masturbating?

What worked for you?

Any tips are welcome.

Thanks!
B
 
When you M do you fantasize about P.
That's what happens to me. Someone told me that I should be able to M without fantasy and that I should present when I M. I found this be very difficult. So the idea was that I shouldn't M until I could do it and be competely present.
 
Brandon292 said:
I've been PMO free for 2 weeks and today I had a relapse and M+O in the morning.

I started a 90 day reboot and feel like crap now for breaking my promise to myself after just a few days from starting my reboot.

I feel like this behavior is so ingrained that it's hard to break... I can avoid P for months and even years but when I don't have sex for a long time I find it hard not to M because I feel like there's a buildup of energy in my body that wants relief.

I am off P completely but still find it hard not to M+O especially since it's so easy to do it in the shower or when I'm alone.

I only slipped once and it was just a very short session but still sucks! back to day 0 tomorrow and again starting my 90 day reboot.

Any tips for keeping yourself from not masturbating?

What worked for you?

Any tips are welcome.

Thanks!
B
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Make some ground rules for yourself. Dont seek out any triggering material at all. Avoid facebook, youtube thumbnails, PUA related stuff, kissing tutorials, books containing explicit how to get a girlfriend material etc. Be careful with boose and drugs as they affects you reward circuit and can cause a chaser effect. Workout/meditate regularly. Decide to never touch yourself. Watch the porn experiment on youtube and visit yourbrainonporn.com. Once you have set up some rules decide not to break them. Then approach this one day at a time. The days will soon add up.
 
NFSB said:
Make some ground rules for yourself. Dont seek out any triggering material at all. Avoid facebook, youtube thumbnails, PUA related stuff, kissing tutorials, books containing explicit how to get a girlfriend material etc. Be careful with boose and drugs as they affects you reward circuit and can cause a chaser effect. Workout/meditate regularly. Decide to never touch yourself. Watch the porn experiment on youtube and visit yourbrainonporn.com. Once you have set up some rules decide not to break them. Then approach this one day at a time. The days will soon add up.
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That is great advice, tried and tested from personal experience. Thank you nofapsincebirth (NFSB).
 
One thing that I find is working super well is one question;

"Is this a sexual situation?"

Every time I ask myself that question, I see how most times I would have masturbated are actually non-sexual in nature. It's really useful.
 
Brandon292 said:
I feel like there's a buildup of energy in my body that wants relief.
Click to expand...

There's definitely a build-up of energy, but it doesn't necessarily have to be released sexually.

Dozens of successful men have re-directed that energy toward other pursuits: work, exercise, study, etc. I saw this video yesterday, and while it's pretty crappy in terms of production quality, the info is pretty interesting:


Also--while I would personally encourage you to abstain from both porn and masturbation, porn definitely has a more damaging effect on brain chemistry. The fact that you've been able to abstain from porn so often, and for so long, is something worth congratulating yourself for. Progress, not perfection. Just take this a day at a time.
 
After quite a few attempts, one of my conclusions is that you will PMO if you focus only on nofap.
Throughout the day, just do stuff, and whenever you're free or bored, find something to engage you. For example, if I'm bored, I solve maths and that helps me as I'm a student. Not high school maths, University level. But the point is do something. Solve puzzles, play Scotland yard with your family/friends, etc.
The trick is to focus on nofap only when urges hit you. And don't even give them a chance. Honestly, whenever your mind 'asks' you to view porn, tell it 'No Porn!'. Say it out loud. Just do this twice or thrice and immediately switch to another thought. Urges just fade away. Do this as many times as you need to till the day is over.
For your shower problems, take cold showers. And start at the coldest setting. Believe me, when your body is gasping for breath, you won't think of fapping. I play songs in the shower to keep me occupied and to help me not focus on the coldness of the water and it works like a charm. You'll love your cold showers.
Don't think about 90 days. Start with 30 days first and keep extending. Good luck, stay strong! :)
 
Thanks for the advice and encouragement. It feels much more doable reading your messages! I feel much better and stronger today. Decided to start meditating in a few days. Still need to organize my sleep as we're doing sleep training for our toddler at the moment sleep is a bit weird.

@Peterparker302 to answer your question. For me it all starts with a powerful internal sensation, like an itch and sometimes I fantasize but many times I don't need it I just do it like a chore to get over with it. I know it's weird :)

@NFSB thanks for the great tips and encouragement. Luckily I'm not into drugs or booze and am planning on starting meditating regularly in a few days. Hope it goes well!

@tehsliceofcake Definitely great advice. I never thought about it. I actually once fapped in a classroom when working on some drawings for an event. I was by myself and I just went for it. Actually it was really not a sexual moment. Drawing in an old high school classroom but the inner feeling to fap was so strong and also the thrill of doing it in school was too strong. That was over 20 years ago! crazy.

@jager thanks for sharing your experience. Really, I should really consider not touching in the morning. Just peeing and going out. I think a good solution is peeing sitting down this way I'm not really holding "it".

@LordReshi7121999 really need to work on my urges and not acting out on them. I went for July's nofap challenge. Cold showers - not there yet. Tried it in the past and made me feel sick, like I have the flu or something. Once I get back to working out my body heat will be higher and then definitely will try to get back to it.

Cheers and thanks!
 
Brandon292 said:
@tehsliceofcake Definitely great advice. I never thought about it. I actually once fapped in a classroom when working on some drawings for an event. I was by myself and I just went for it. Actually it was really not a sexual moment. Drawing in an old high school classroom but the inner feeling to fap was so strong and also the thrill of doing it in school was too strong. That was over 20 years ago! crazy.

@jager thanks for sharing your experience. Really, I should really consider not touching in the morning. Just peeing and going out. I think a good solution is peeing sitting down this way I'm not really holding "it".


Cheers and thanks!
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In my opinion, asking yourself if a situation really warrants fapping allows you to do anything that revolves around touching your dick for any reason. In another post, I said that I have trimmed up my pubes and in the past I would have fapped furiously afterwards. I mean, yes, I might look more attractive or whatever but wasting time fapping can now be avoided because I no longer see what amounts to hygiene rituals as sexual. Now if I have to touch my dick for peeing, trimming, cleaning under my foreskin, etc, I might get an erection but I am not sexually triggered, i.e. not really aroused. And not really interested in fapping as such.

Understanding this idea of boner =/= arousal or wanting sex is pretty important in my opinion.
 
I find that my biggest triggers are stress and being tired either one of them or a combo of both... Just makes my willpower so low that I find myself going on P site just to get back awake. I find not watching P easier than not MO'ing. I guess because my dick is always there so it's easy to just do something when feeling horny or stressed or bored or whatever.
Need to rewire that part of myself. Just do other things that will actually do me good and not make me feel like total crap.
 
I get erect super fast and just try to relax. It usually passes
 
Problem with me is that d more tym ispend without M, stronger d urges become... I started to get excited with everything which minutely relate with P or S. So please tell me is this me or everyone face this problem and how I can overcome this
 
Brandon292 said:
I find that my biggest triggers are stress and being tired either one of them or a combo of both... Just makes my willpower so low that I find myself going on P site just to get back awake. I find not watching P easier than not MO'ing. I guess because my dick is always there so it's easy to just do something when feeling horny or stressed or bored or whatever.
Need to rewire that part of myself. Just do other things that will actually do me good and not make me feel like total crap.
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I don't know your age so ignore this if you find it inappropriate for now.
I downloaded some TV series or something and keep it in my mobile, like Friends or CW universe series or something. Even if I'm bored, I don't have to go to porn for entertainment. And just stop going to porn at all. When you open that browser for porn, instead search for benefits of nofap, read a few success stories.
On my current streak, I personally don't focus on nofap at all, so if I'm not constantly thinking about not fapping and my mind is focused anywhere else, then I don't get triggered so easily. If I feel urges, that's the only time I think about nofap at all you know and I deny my urges. It's very effective.
 
To me you its sounds like the anxiety is the root cause of the problem. I'd try to learn some breathing or instant meditation exercises. I have a few tips if interested.
 
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