From what I've gathered I think what happens is that you may have oneititis and put too much emphasis on a girl. This is a very serious issue depending on the extent of how much attention you put on a woman because it can turn into codependency which is really unhealthy. Trust me, I have had issues with this in the past. I don't think you need to be a "bad boy" just realize that no woman should have the ability to control you're affection. I suggest learning some behavioral techniques about this.