How to be disciplined while depressed?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Arms.R.heavy, Mar 24, 2019.

  1. Arms.R.heavy

    Arms.R.heavy Fapstronaut

    I can't get myself to study and or work hard on anything. My self-discipline is so weak.
    I am consumed by fears and regrets. I've made poor choices in the past 3 years (career wise) and I feel stuck.
    The past six months I worked on a project with the aim to start a business. But It failed and my self confidence and self worth got obliterated with it.
    I'm unemployed but I'm currently doing an internship. But I'm not progressing or learning much or adding much value for that matter. Which is soul crushing. My current mindset and mental state are preventing me from moving forward. I'm stuck. And time is relentlessly moving forward.
    I get suicidal thoughts but I've never seriously considered them. But I've wished for a quick death multiple times in the past couple of months. last week i got into a car crash right after i prayed for it (i wasn't driving). no one was hurt thank God, It's extremely selfish and cowardly to think this way i know.
    I blame myself for 100% of my problems.
    > Does anyone know how to be disciplined while depressed?
    > Does anyone know how can I force myself to work towards a goal even when the progress i devastatingly slow.
  2. Asgardian36

    Asgardian36 Fapstronaut

    dude....I can relate to you, but please donot pray for anything bad to happen not to you or not to any 1.

    I dont know how old you are but hang in there. I am 28, I have just started my career yet I don't feel confident at all. everyday at work, i experience heart ache. I know nothing yet theres lot of stuff I need to do.

    It will not make sense...hang in and keep doing your best!

    If you have luxury of choosing what to do for work, choose that as long as you are passionate about it!!!
    Captain!, CH3RRY and Arms.R.heavy like this.
  3. Arms.R.heavy

    Arms.R.heavy Fapstronaut

    Thank you for your response chappo. I really appreciate it.
  4. Newlife33

    Newlife33 Fapstronaut

    Tiny victories. I downloaded the "loop habit tracker" app and plugged in a few basic things to do everyday like "Brush teeth, eat dinner, text one person, take a shower" It was nice to check something off everyday, and it made me feel better. Once those basics were handled I changed the habits to "Put clothing on hangers, Wash face, do dishes." etc. As I came out of the depression the habit lists became more and more healthy, and it was great to actually have a record of how far I came. If I listened to my depression voice, it would tell me I'm a wimp and should just lie in bed all day and die. But then I can look at my habit tracker, see I've gone to the gym twice a week for a long time and it is evidence that I am strong.
    Knighthawk and Arms.R.heavy like this.
  5. DeliciousMarzipan

    DeliciousMarzipan Fapstronaut

    I know how you feel OP. I'm 28, I've only been working for the last 6 months. Before that I was unemployed for a year, and before that I was studying. I hate my job, but have no other options (no experience).

    Supposedly NoFap is about self-improvement, and I really try to exercise, read more, be more sociable. But my life is not fulfilling at all, and I have little confidence because of this. I find it impossible to keep a schedule (rolling shifts anyway), can't get out of bed, can't concentrate most of the time. At least I am pretty disciplined when it comes to stopping P and M.

    Anyway, I digress. It's hard to be disciplined at this mental state. There has to be a noticeable reward that will drive you to do what you have to do. Maybe you should focus on the small things e.g. if I run an extra km I'll treat myself to my favourite snack.
    Arms.R.heavy likes this.
  6. monkeymode

    monkeymode Fapstronaut

    Read my 10 keys to success in the self improvement forum. Improving your sense of self is the key to getting through depression (I've been there bro, it gets better) Motivation and elevated mood go hand in hand so start with something small and easy off that list (like cold showers or 10 minute meditation) then make sure you do it EVERY DAY. after a while you will see positive results and your confidence and thus self image will raise a little bit, then once you're ready, add another habit. These habits will have a compounding effect and allow you to fully forgive yourself for all you have done in the past and everyone else who has wronged you. Another POWERFUL habit not listed in the 10 keys is the gratefulness habit. Every day when you wake up say 10 things you are grateful for. This will make your brain shift its modes of thinking to a more positive shade and attract more positive energy. I recommend reading the book Mindset by Carol S. Dweck. It is very eye opening and changed the way I saw the world and myself.

    Good luck on your journey and hit me up if you have questions

  7. wlx3

    wlx3 Fapstronaut

    How to be disciplined while depressed? Watch Jocko Willink's videos on Youtube.
    Arms.R.heavy likes this.
  8. Toomuchh

    Toomuchh Fapstronaut

    This is just my personal opinion, so take it with a grain of salt.

    If you really want to stay disciplined, you have to remember to keep perspective on the situation when you want to give up.

    Rome wasn't built in a day, it's unreasonable to get results instantly, sometimes it's a slow process to get things done. And that's okay, you're still progressing forward even when you feel like you aren't moving. Trust the process. I know being patient can be hard, meditation helps with mindfulness and depression.

    Understand your goals, what you really want to achieve. Remind yourself that what you're doing right now is for that end goal. It might be doing a job in an unrelated field so you will have a better chance later for the job you want. Connect how what you're doing right now relates to you getting what you want later.

    And the most important, is to relax. You're alive so you still have chances in life. So relax, and remember to enjoy being alive. Failure is just a stepping stone to success, don't be scared of making mistakes. Winners fail and get back up, fail and get back up. So relax, and remember just do want you want, and live your life on your own terms. Don't be scared of failing, cause when you're afraid you won't take the risks you need to make to succeed. It's okay to fail, it's okay to fuck up, but it's not okay to stop doing things because you are scared you'll fail again.
    Knighthawk and Arms.R.heavy like this.
  9. vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

    Shit, i know this feeling. it drains the heck out of our energy. We know what we should do but somehow we couldn't manage to do it. Depression doesn't make sense but it's happening
    Arms.R.heavy likes this.
  10. Hi! Do the work you love. Never ever force yourself to discipline to do the job or work against your interest. If you force yourself to do the work you disliked then your mind will fight its best with you to stop doing that. No matter what other people say to you or think about you only do the work or job you like. Iam telling bcz I suffered like you mentally like hell for 556 days
  11. DeliciousMarzipan

    DeliciousMarzipan Fapstronaut

    Well you have to make a living, right? Most people I know have taken jobs they can hardly tolerate, they had no choice; it's either that or unemployment.
    Arms.R.heavy likes this.
  12. changinguser

    changinguser Fapstronaut

    Hey sorry if this comment is very late, but I really couldn't ignore your story.
    Listen, I imagine how you must be feeling because I have had friends in situations like this, and... honestly being a witness of the pain they carry deep down is one of the worst pains that I have known... so...
    If you want self-discipline during hard times, it all starts with your ''why''. It all starts by finding that one thing in life that you wish to do or you are willing to risk doing. After that, there's always a chance to fight back the fears and thoughts that harm you.
    But trust me, I know it may seem bad today, but there is always an opportunity to build a better day tomorrow, don't give up.
    Arms.R.heavy likes this.
  13. Alhabor

    Alhabor Fapstronaut

    How do you pack up a house? Do you wait until the day before you move to rush around and put everything in boxes? Or do you start way ahead of time and pack one box each day? That’s what works for me. Im also a depressed man who has bad self-discipline. I’ve wrestled with what you’re asking and what I found best was to take big goals/tasks and explode them into tiny ones and do little bits at a time. This takes the pressure of off you and won’t overwhelm your sense of self-discipline. It’ll strengthen it and you’ll look back at what you’ve accomplished and be so proud of yourself; even if it takes longer than the average person.
    Bro, seriously, find your passion. Even we depressed people have them somewhere inside of us; we often just don’t have the discipline to accomplish them. Whatever it may be, start going after it a little each day; even if it goes against the grain of your life, it is worth it.
    More power to you man and please don’t harm yourself. You are too valuable for that.
    Arms.R.heavy likes this.
  14. vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

    @Arms.R.heavy : just wondering if you have found a solution for your troubles, cuz i find myself stuck in this circle too
  15. Arms.R.heavy

    Arms.R.heavy Fapstronaut

    I kept a habit of tracking some of my habits. But I stopped 3 months ago. I should resume tracking them again. Thank you for your advice @Newlife33 .

    Focusing on small wins & using rewards. I'll keep those in mind. thank you @DeliciousMarzipan !

    Patience is one of my problems. and you're right, i have to reconstruct my vision for the future. A lot of things have changed since the last time i've written down my goals in life.
    I do smth similar to meditation. Mindfulness is important, I know it is. but I don't do it the right so i don't get the expected benefits.

    I've just read you post about the 10 keys to success, I agree with you on each of them.
    I tried cold showers for a while but stopped.
    I still struggle with consistency. I guess i should focus on one habit at a time.
    Thank you for taking the time to comment @monkeymode .

    I watched some of his videos, he is inspiring. Self discipline is key.
    Any thing is possible in life IF you have self discipline. I currently have very little of that and it is why It's hard to hope for big things in the future.

    Thank you for your kind response @changinguser . I thought I knew my why, but now I'm not sure anymore.
    I agree with you though. Having a strong reason "WHY" can be I'm missing.

    Thank you @Alhabor for taking the time to answer. I do feel overwhelmed about the amount of things I must do to the point where it seems hopeless sometimes. So you're are right about dividing big tasks into small ones. It does help.
    One more thing, I've quit Facebook just to stop comparing myself to others. Social media can be a curse.

    I'm sorry @vulture175 for replying so late, Although my depression has alleviated, I'm still struggling with self-discipline.
  16. Dude some people struggle with being disciplined without depression. Get your depressed butt normal first before you aim for any pressure you put on yourself extra. But to help you put. Start with workouts in the morning and mild to cold showers afterwards
    Arms.R.heavy likes this.
  17. Arms.R.heavy

    Arms.R.heavy Fapstronaut

    I guess you're right.
    I used to take cold showers last year but I stopped. I'll start'em again eventually.
    Deleted Account likes this.

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