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How to Become Less Faint-Hearted

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by dogeatdog, Jan 22, 2020.

  1. dogeatdog

    dogeatdog Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, for as long as I can remember I've been afraid most things like all small children. In time, my friends would grow up to not be afraid of things such as horror films, unnerving images or rollercoasters but I am still so terrified of them. I've watched around three horror films in my almost two decades of living and were squealing in fear all the way through (first one was when I was 16). I'm not ashamed to admit I've met girls who were less afraid of these films than I am. I can't even play horror games unless with a group of friends. Is it possible to improve my courageousness when it comes to watching horror films and experiencing scary things in general? I recently started watching this YouTube channel called Local 58 and this video has haunted me every single night when I'm about to fall asleep:

     
  2. tree28

    tree28 Fapstronaut

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    Do scary things more?
     
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  3. dogeatdog

    dogeatdog Fapstronaut

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    That's the thing, I hate doing scary things.
     
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  4. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    All I can really suggest here is to desensitise yourself to scary things by immersing yourself in them. I have to ask, what were the movies you watched?
     
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  5. dogeatdog

    dogeatdog Fapstronaut

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    The films were IT Chapter 2, Get Out, a couple of Insidious films and a Quiet Place (if you count it to be horror).
    I do have to say, the only horror thing I enjoyed was Outlast (horror game set in an asylum), I loved the immersion mind you I was playing it with friends on the sofa.
     
  6. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    When you watch these movies are you actually afraid of them because they are scary or are you just easily startled by jump scares? I think a lot of modern horror exploits your natural reflexes by throwing loud noises and shock imagery at you, of course you are going to jump or be startled by things like that, its literally your bodies fight or flight reflex kicking in. What are your thoughts on psychological horror, or horror that is more subtle?
     
    dogeatdog likes this.
  7. Yes, it is possible.
    The chances are that you learned fearfulness sometime during your upbringing.
    So, you need to "unlearn" that fearfulness.

    Find yourself an experienced therapist who practices NLP (neuro-linguistic programming). You might also find relief through CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), although in my experience CBT isn't as good.

    A slower therapy, but one that works well for many people, is EFT (emotional freedom technique). You can find self-help videos on YouTube, but of course YouTube doesn't compare to seeing a professional in person.

    Good luck!
     
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  8. If you want horror game recommendations, I'm your guy.
     
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  9. dogeatdog

    dogeatdog Fapstronaut

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    Jump scares may definitely be the issue. I have no clue on what psychological horror is but am a big fan of cosmic horror like Cthulu and other Lovecraftian stuff.
     
  10. dogeatdog

    dogeatdog Fapstronaut

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    As self-destructive as it sounds I don't think I have time to go to therapy right now. It seems useful according to what I've seen on the forums but my schedule is mostly full with studying or hanging out with my fellas and frankly I don't really want things to change. Maybe in a year or two when I'm free and are not obligated to do 8 hour school days anymore I'll be able to go to therapy.
     
  11. dogeatdog

    dogeatdog Fapstronaut

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    Hit me with 'em; keep in mind I'm a beginner with horror games and TLOU scared me quite bad.
     
  12. Nicko Stretch

    Nicko Stretch Fapstronaut

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    Start to become more aware of the feelings associated with the 'fear' and 'scaredness' as you have labelled them. The next time you are scared actually focus on the feelings in your body - where are they, what are they, how long do they last? The more you do this the more you will dissassociate the feelings with the labels(and all the societal baggage that comes with those labels).
     
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  13. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    At its most basic I would say psychological horror is horror that isnt so overt, isnt so "in your face". Its designed to make you think about things that may be scary or disturbing as opposed to just shocking you with a ghost jumping out and screaming "boo" in your face at a million decibels. Cosmic horror could be seen as a subgenre of it as it makes you feel fear through understanding how insignificant you are compared to the creatures portrayed, and how the portrayals themselves are often fairly vague as to make you wonder "what do these things truly look like?"
     
  14. I am afraid (?) to walk on the edge of a tall building. I don't think it's ever worth it, so I am not sure whether to call it fear or not. I can watch horror stuff all day long, back in my childhood I couldn't do it without getting very scared. You can try to imagine how the camera is set up, what kind of lighting angles are they using etc while watching horror flicks and you won't even feel anything remotely closer to fear, in fact it will actually help you laugh at them realizing how comic the shooting scene must be like in actual time.
     
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  15. CodeTalker

    CodeTalker Fapstronaut

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    I hate horror movies and I think getting desensitized to it isn't a good thing. It's gore, violent and scary. You should feel something if you watch it. Also, why trying to fuel your nightmare with even more content ? There are some stuff you will never forget. I still vividly remember some hostel scene and I wish I didn't watch any of it. tis disgusting.

    I'm the kind of dude who watches the beginning of horror movies when everything is alright and then stop the movie when the bad things happens.
     
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  16. CodeTalker

    CodeTalker Fapstronaut

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    The sequences with the clickers were quite scary. Games are much more scary than movies imo. Because if you don't move, you won't progress. I can't play any silent hill games. I don't have any problems with Biohazard though.
     
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  17. dogeatdog

    dogeatdog Fapstronaut

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    @CodeTalker, clickers scare the absolute shit out of me. The only thing that kept me through the game was lil' Ellie. You also provide an interesting perspective on
    'desensiting' yourself to fear.

    This sounds like a really good tip, I'll give it a shot!
     
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  18. Well, you asked, you got your answer. You must decide if you really want what you asked for or if you were just sharing.

    If you have a straightforward phobia, a good NLP practitioner or hypnotherapist should be able to get rid of it within an hour. If there's more behind it, it could take three or four sessions.
     
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  19. Warning: I've mostly played the more hardcore horror games. But a good game is a good game in my opinion.

    Well I think if you haven't played Amnesia: the Dark Descent (2010), you should do so. It's a short playthrough with a few intensely scary parts. I'd try to push through because it has an amazing story. Many people recommend it as the best horror game, and I wouldn't necessarily disagree.

    If you don't like the idea of being helpless and unable to fight back, play Dead Space (the first one, from 2008). It's pretty scary but beautiful at the same time, with an immersive atmosphere, and the graphics hold up to this day. I'd say it has the best soundtrack of any horror game, and often the sounds alone are enough to make you say "nope." In this game you can shoot back, but you are still very vulnerable. Dead Space 2 is great as well, but many people complain about the DS3, because of the lack of horror elements.

    The Forest (2014) is an amazing sandbox horror game that was in early-access for some time, but is now considered complete. If you want to finish the story, you have to go through pitch dark caves full of horrifying mutants and thousands of corpses. I'll be honest, it still gives me the creeps even after 500+ hours. It features great gameplay and pretty decent graphics, and you can build and craft as well. It really emphasizes the survival in survival-horror, compared to other games. You'll have a hunger and thirst meter, etc. Oh, and there's a multiplayer mode if you want to try to survive with some friends. Also has VR compatibility.

    Speaking of multiplayer, Dead by Daylight (2016) is a very exciting multiplayer 4 vs 1 horror game. It's not a story game, but has relatively short rounds called "trials." So you can queue up over and over and play through many different maps and characters. You can choose to play as the killer or as a survivor. There are a LOT of survivors and killers now, and it might take you a good while to learn the game. But the atmosphere is good, and the gameplay is fun although frustrating at times. I had a blast with it - over 1k hours.

    Alien: Isolation (2014) gets a lot of rave reviews but I found it a bit repetitive after a while. Nonetheless, the graphics and atmosphere are top-tier. The story is pretty solid as well. It also has VR.

    Five Nights at Freddy's - any title. I would recommend these games because you can start and stop whenever you want and not worry too much about it. They still manage to be incredibly scary and will definitely make you paranoid. People say "FNAF is for kids" but I disagree. FNAF 4 is by far the scariest, but they're all good. And there's a ton of sequels, and a VR release of all the titles. If you don't like earrape jumpscares, I'd stay away from these.

    There's a TON of good indie horror games (besides The Forest, of course). One of my favorites is Vanish. You will be absolutely terrified and probably quit the game out of fear at some point. It's really intense. Another good one is called Lost in Vivo. They're both really short so you don't have to suffer for too long.

    There's also a good point-and-click flash series on Armor Games called Deep Sleep/Deeper Sleep/Deepest Sleep here. If you like those games, try the "Don't escape" flash series as well.

    You've played Outlast 1 which is pretty scary. Outlast 2 wasn't as good in my opinion, but don't take my word for it - it's still a decent horror game. But I would say I'm pretty desensitized to horror at this point.

    I've only included my favorites, but I haven't played every horror title in existence. You can check out Steam for more.

    TL;DR Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Dead Space, The Forest, Dead by Daylight, Alien: Isolation, FNAF, Vanish, Lost in Vivo, Deep Sleep/Don't Escape. Check steam for more.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2020
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