How to become manlier after years of PMO-induced feminization?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by MichaelJ, Feb 2, 2017.

  1. MichaelJ

    MichaelJ Guest

    Hello everyone!
    I have adrenal problems, but I also don't feel comfortable with being a male. I fall in love only with females and I am sexually attracted only to them but I still feel they hate the male gender. I still see lots of mysandrist writings online and they ruin my self-confidence. I would cry as a boy when reding one of those women-are-superior articles. There is something seriously wrong with a society where articles like this are published and I don't feel part of it. Due to this even if I get a GF that I love, I just want to get even for all these articles, for the crying and for my female abusers in HS. So how can I become more comfortable with my maleness and I also have adrenal fatigue that makes me less confident as well so I act very resentful towards most females. Then again why should I forgive or forget when they had a choice to not write articles like that and my classmates could chose NOT to abuse me? Also PMO made me even less manly. I want to be comfortable with my gender as I'm attracted to females only, believe me I know. But that low confidense chases them away.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 6, 2017
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  2. IGY

    IGY Guest

    That's not going to happen! I advise you not to mess with your body, you could do yourself untold damage. Chill dude. :cool:
     
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  3. Nothing wrong with drinking tea but don't get too caught up in all that supplementation. The paleo diet is a good diet if you have blood sugar issues but you shouldn't avoid carbs all together, it could probably make things worse in the long run. I think the best thing for you to do is to eat some natural sources of carbs every now and then, but you should completely avoid all processed junk. For example there's nothing wrong with eating some french fries with that steak every once in a while. Seems like you're losing weight fast, and the paleo-diet is a fat-shredder. If you get too skinny just eat more. Also it's best to eat carbs at night when your metabolism is performing like it should. Chances are that your metabolism is simply out of whack because of all the porn use. Believe me you are not alone.
     
    MichaelJ likes this.
  4. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    @MichaelJ All your writing shows a low self-confidence. You are not happy with yourself, and that's why girls friendzone you, not because of any other reason.

    You are thinking too much. Don't look for a solution in drugs, just find your inner goals and follow them.
     
  5. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Exactly what I said. You are hating yourself. This is called low self confidence.

    PS: Women love it when a man shows emotions.
     
  6. Your adrenal fatigue must have been pre-existing, most likely because of the PMO. The best thing you can do is to completely abstain right now. You'll automatically build more tolerance to certain foods. You need to steer clear from the processed junk though. It most certainly are the sugars that are causing you to feel bad. It's poisonous if you have adrenal fatigue. Also you need to avoid wheat if you have adrenal fatigue. Look into leaky gut - gluten intolerance (see drlam.com)
    Take care
     
    MichaelJ likes this.
  7. https://www.drlam.com/blog/masturbation-and-fatigue/6083/

    " Frequent orgasms can lead to sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous function imbalance, stressing the adrenals as they try to stabilize this imbalance by putting out more cortisol, the anti-stress hormone. Excessive cortisol output over time can lead to low cortisol levels and adrenal exhaustion."
     
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  8. Wait. How can you convert T into estrogen if your levels are okay??? Doesn't make sense. T tends to fluctuate, up to 40% from average. Really the best you can do is to abstain from all P, M and O. I'll bet you this will have a huge impact on the cortisol issues you are having. Give yourself the rest you need and you will automatically become more manly. The main problem is that you have rewired your brain because of the P. P does not necessarily reflect your real sexual taste or preference. Address this issue through abstinence.
     
    MichaelJ likes this.
  9. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

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    That means that your form is not good or you are going too heavy and as a result you dont target the right muscle group.
    If you want to build upper body, from beginning you need to focus on 3 muscles only: chest, lats and shoulders. That's all you need to look good.
     
  10. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Please. When you behave like a bull terrier, everybody knows that you're just acting and that you have something to cover.
    In the best case, people have pity with you; in the worst case, you are making yourself ridiculous or people are frightened by you.

    True self confidence comes from inside, not by playing a role.

    You sound very frustrated and as if people of your family did not accept your emotions.
    You are looking for acceptance and love.

    You become an "adult" when you have inner goals and when you follow them. Example: Look at Elon Musk - does he go around as you describe? No, he is in fact even getting obese and is stuttering. Yet he has strong believes and is following them. And that makes him a lucky and successful person.
     
  11. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    What do you do when you sit beneath another one who does the same ?
     
  12. daydr3amer

    daydr3amer Fapstronaut

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    Blood sugar levels rise when you eat Carbs ! please google the term " Ketosis " and read about it , its a good way to keep your blood sugar levels low.. i workout and i gain muscle-weight on ketosis (low carb diet ) with no prob . the weight you loose when you are on low carb diet is just water weight (no carbs means no water retention) you will more likely to get them back as soon as you start eating carbs again !
    well we all wish we can have a second puberty :p but sadly this is not possible ... but vit-D3 and zink can help your body release more testosterone , expose yourself to sun daily to get vit-D , eat healthy fats , get at least 7-8 hours of sleeping daily ... these also are important to keep your T lvls high ...
    good luck
     
    MichaelJ likes this.
  13. I have to admit, I have issues with my adrenal glands too, but that came about long before I started eating paleo. I'm sure the paleo diet isn't as much of a stressor as eating processed foods. The biggest stressor you need to avoid, by all means, is PMO. That is what made you weak in the first place. It's no coincidence that the adrenals produce a wide variety of sex hormones. Anyone who masturbates will eventually experience this kind of problem. Sadly you only hit rock bottom as soon as you decide to give up on masturbation, so instead of being rewarded for it, your body drags you through hell first.
    Imo you can even eat junk food say once or twice a week, as long as you abstain from all PMO. I'm almost certain that all of your issues were caused by PMO, the uncertainty, the food intolerances, I'm going through the exact same thing... Can't eat a candy bar without experiencing extreme fatigue for a day or two. Giving up on PMO even made my diarrhea disappear. I always thought it was normal to have loose stools, until I gave up on PMO. That's what PMO can do it not only undermines mental health, it's bad for physical health as well.
     
  14. Mateo89

    Mateo89 Fapstronaut

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    MichaelJ, I can definately relate to what you are going through. Unfortunately your problem lies more in the mind, rather than the body. The mind/brain is highly underrated in what defines a man. When I first started NoFap, my mind was frantic, erratic and I couldn't stop or filter any of my thoughts. After successfully completing a formidable amount of time practising Abstinence, my mind began to quiet, and I become noticeably more calm. What makes a man masculine is his ability to stay calmer than a woman in any given situation. Calm equals confidence and translates into masculinity. So friend, progress through NoFap as your number one priority. I won't argue that you have health problems, but you will not find your answers to masculinity there I promise you that. I encourage you to check out my ~Month to month Plan for NoFap Success~ Post, and start there.

    I wish you a successful recovery,
    Mateo
     
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  15. MichaelJ

    MichaelJ Guest

    Thanks. I really hate all media and the Internet right now. I was exposed to reading man-bashing articles early on on how women are superior in just about any way. That totally ruined my self-confidence. And once I discovered the Internet it became worse with reading Western media doing their male-shaming routine. I wish I never learnt English at times, but our sites sometimes do it too. I really would cry because I was made to feel inferior for being male and I just hate the male-bashing many females write as a kid, I really remember hating myself due to those articles. It all comes as too much misandry really. Maybe should've titled the thread "Feminists ruined my life and made me hate being male"

    And then in high school I was emotionally abused by mostly girls and as I cannot hit a girl I couldn't help it. I literally feel like I cannot trust females and I have resentment towards them. But don't get me wrong - I only get hard and fall in love with females. I just hate them as a general community. Of course when I get a GF I have issues with that - even if I love her, I want to get back at her for what women have done to me and try to play psychological games. I can't help it, I cannot let go and I don't want to forget or forgive. There is no karma as the jerks abusing me in HS have still better lives than me 10 years later.

    In 2013 I almost was able to move on and surprise surprise I went NoFap back then due to health issues. I didn't know that was the thing that helped me. But still, even if I move on, I will always have the thought that all women feel resentment towards all males so I will never fully invest and connect.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 6, 2017
  16. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    You have had some bad experiences, and I am sorry.
    Rationally, you must know that this is not the whole truth; all women do not resent all men. Too many women have been abused by men and have grounds to resent them, just as boys have been been physically and verbally abused.
    I have listened to the pain of abused women. They deserve so much more. When you feel a woman resents men, you might try to descover why she does. It could be very good for both of you. She could see that at least one man cares about her, and you could see that her resentment is not about you.

    I hope you can find a woman who is good for you.
    Stay on track until you do.
     
    MichaelJ likes this.
  17. MichaelJ

    MichaelJ Guest

    I bet you haven't read Jezebel.com recently. Or at all. That's how most women think really. Yes, not all, but most. For this reason I no longer have any female friends, I no longer hold doors for anyone, if I see a woman screaming for help I think I'll do nothing, etc. I basically mind my own business.

    I cannot just snap out of it and forget all the abuse, the laughter, being treated like I'm scum etc. in high school. They had a choice to be good to me, yet they chose to abuse me, call me names and laugh at me. Being a teenager doesn't excuse anyone of cruelty. So now I feel like I have to hurt as many people emotionally as have hurt me, to spread the karma, or rather to get even. I want revenge really for my terrible experiences. It might sound evil, but that's how I feel. If their lives were terrible now, I'd let go, but no, they still have the perfect lives.

    Maybe I can let go but only concerning foreign females, but I'll never trust those from my culture or the culture that created sites like Jezebel.com. So I avoid 'Muricans and Anglo-Saxons with vaginas as well as my local kind.

    So far I haven't really hurt anyone really, I just avoid them and ghost them as I cannot stand their company if it doesn't involve sex. Even our female teacher would ignore the abuse as they were female, so she was like "girls would never do that".

    Of course I've went NoContact with all of them, but these days I cried a lot about those things. I guess relapsing made my hormones crazy again. And that means the pain hasn't healed.

    My point is I was just an inocent kid God dammit, I did not deserve anything of that and I did not provoke them. Maybe my destiny is to be person/witch-magnet, idk. I really enjoy telling them "I don't owe you friendship, fuck off!" I know that creates even more gender wars, but I do as I feel. Which is sad really as I miss the romantic flings I had as a kid all the way to right before HS. I shrugged off the male-bashing articles for that reason. But after the abuse in HS, articles like those at Jezebel.com just make me feel like next time I hear a female neighbour screaming I'll put my headphones on and do nothing. No one ever helped me when I was at my lowest, even when I would ask for help, so I feel entitled not to help others. I only help elderly females, because they remind me of my grandma.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 6, 2017
  18. MeTP

    MeTP Fapstronaut

    Firstly I see that you are so much hurt. Secondly you must realise how much you see reality through this wound ( I suffered depression in my life and I know that very important is realisation how much our perception of world is veiled while being hurt/bullied/depressed). NoFAP should give you strength but it can be also very difficult because of emotions and feelings that might outflow. Give yourself time to recover one day at a time, look for a proper therapy ( you probably need one), don't stuck in victim mentality (complaining about past will take away so much vitality from you). Remember that not everything during recovery will come as you wish it to be, there will be a lot of ups and downs. You have the power to cope with everything - it will probably take years to recover but your scars from now will become your strength in future - and healed you will be able to cooperate with woman in every sphere of life.
     
    MichaelJ likes this.
  19. MichaelJ

    MichaelJ Guest

    But what about things like Jezzebel and the likes, they seem to be triggering and leading to self-hatred and shame. Stop reading any press? I don't see how can any guy can read that crap and feel good about themselves.

    Therapy did nothing. Only avoiding negative people, articles and other triggers helped. In 2013 I not only did NoFap but I avoided the Internet as much as possible, and by extension reduced my media intake. I think we all should avoid media as much as possible. They often exaggerate things for shock value and don't care how offensive they sound to many people.

    If media didn't exist it would've been much easier for me to move on. I think I really should go on an Internet media fast again and use K9 to block all news and political/activist groups (=propaganda of all kinds, left or rights, to me it's all propaganda bs, negative and melodramatic). Ironically those are all written by some privileged people in some comfy expensive office or condo in LA, Manhattan, London and the likes. Continential Europe is much more moderate on the male-bashing IMO.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 6, 2017
  20. Beopus

    Beopus Fapstronaut

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    Just ignore the misandry and misogyny and do what you want to. Everyone is people, so everyone's different with different habits, thoughts, and outlooks on life. You'll get sharper the less you generalize. It's easy to play into groups, be very careful about that.

    Don't worry about being manly or femimine. There are very few benefits to joining thought camps. Feel free to flow between them and take and drop what you please. If you want to change something, change it. If you're not sure about something, give it some time to let yourself figure it out.

    Be aware that the general agreement towards masculinity and femininity is that they are born of media. To further upon that point, it would be fair to say that marketing plays a huge part in that media. It is easier to sell a product to a group of people if the marketing manages to make the target audience feel as if they are a part of a tribe that would be interested in the marketed product. Group mentality is a crutch. Just look at how blue and pink swapped genders less than a century ago due to marketing.

    I can guarantee you that some of the scariest most 'masculine' motherfuckers I've ever met (I'm talking teardrops on faces) really don't give a damn about how 'masculine' they act or how much swagger they walk with. They came off to me as very sensitive and respectfully courteous people.

    Of course, that all becomes moot if you're hunting for some e-girl ass, because people do have what they are attracted to and general guidelines to streamline the whole process. Wear a flatbrim, drink your protein shakes, and lift weights that get you very tired after 3 sets of 8 reps.

    G'luck.
     

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