How to combat sexual fantasies?

@noviceambition ,

About your second paragraph, if you can think about the person behind the body, you are on the right track.
You mention porn vids that look more natural, those are probably the "female choice" type of genre. I watched those before and yes they are sometimes free of violence or hardcore, but again, they still give you the same dopamine release and feed the coolidge effect.

I don't mind female friends (or co-workers),but it sometimes gets a little complicated when they happen to be younger and/or prettier and/or sexier/well-endowed than your GF or wife. The GF might get jealous, and although its curable, its another set of worries, arguing, discussions about trust, etc...

 

One of the best reasons to want to stop an addiction to sexual fantasies is because of a significant other. They deserve better than that, right? Use that as a motivator.

Though, I'm curious; I've never found much reason to be all that sympathetic to the pr0nstars themselves. Is there some emotional trauma that they've all been through? (Knowing that might help with my own addiction.)

 

Well..... I also used a smile to do the same thing. The point is that by simply changing your facial expression, you change the way you feel. Many studies prove this.

I also find it hard to have an urge with a big stupid smile on my face.

It's a simple way of changing the feeling from one of arousal and fantasy to something that feels different. It can compliment thought redirection.

For me, the combination of an angry face (with the anger focused on the results of PMO), while I ask the question "Where does this lead?"..... snaps me out of the pleasure feeling and directs my attention to the pain from PMO.

 

Security issues will always need to be sorted before engaging into social activities with your friends or coworkers, but if your partner isn't satisfied with your freedom of spending your own time then maybe you aren't investing enough time with them? Sorry, but I can't say for myself because I haven't been in a legitimate long/short term relationship, but I do know that security issues are mostly one sided and can prove to be problematic if they need to investigate everything that you do... that's outrageous. Proper trust may not have been established early into the relationship. I think that both parties should be comfortable with the freedom they had before getting together, with the exception of not courting other mates. Otherwise, maybe you need to reevaluate it. Sure it's probably not that simple, but I'd rather be single then if that's the case. Unless of course, if they are worth "curing" as you say.

 

I agree with you.
But having been in a few long term relationships, even with solid bases, the situation develops and stuff unravels at times.
Also, its one thing to gain trust ,but it takes a few seconds to lose.
As we get older ,everybody but mostly females start to dislike how their body ages. I don't want to put all ladies in the same bag, but quite a few feel like the younger females with tight bodies are becoming a threat. Doesn't help when the old man is turning head on chix at the mall....

So its all about keeping the trust and the love with the S/O.

 

That's interesting because I know that older women can be quite attractive too. As for the age related things, there is so much hair dye being used now and ways to bring luster back to the skin that even I don't know what age looks like anymore (if they are aged). If anything, I would be concerned if they are eating to get enough nutrients because I read a lot of forums about health and read a lot about people saying that they "feel like they're 20 again" or their skin looks so youthful again because they discovered how to take better care of it. Even hair loss has a reason, there aren't enough nutrients supporting growth. Now, if it's a genetic problem then that certainly sucks. But, even so, you can push different switches on the body and it will find other ways to do things, which I find quite amazing. However, it may be very time consuming to research about and expensive to find treatments for (even in the case of supplements or high quality foods).

 

A lot do suffer from trauma yes. You can easily google confessions about ex porn stars

 

yes older women can be attractive too. You are talking to a mature lover! So I have no problem with cougs!

 

Not for an addict.

Having a glass of beer is normal as well. But not for an alcoholic. It will likely escalate to a drinking binge. That's why they say .."don;'t take that first drink"

In the same manner, I have noticed many times that as soon as I start to enjoy a little fantasy for a day or two.....it escalates.

You are giving your brain a taste of what it wants. It will want more.

The ONLY arousal that is normal is when there is a chance of real sex. Any other arousal is fake and distracts you from healing

 

Old but what the hell, best course is to let them play out in meditation mindfulness, you'll pop a boner when you do but focus on your thoughts, play out the dating process, have your subconscious tell you these are just fantasies, let them play out then let them go like a river current.

 

Reality can help combat sexual fantasies. For instance, I lose interest in a sexual fantasy when I realize that the sex partner might have an STI.